Meme draft
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/corncadre
This is my first go at an article. I'm new here but don't be easy or gentle on me. I'm a tuffy.
Meme draft
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Summary:
First article here we go!
Okay, some thoughts.
- Your conprocs are good, but missing a few key details; you're telling us where on a site it's stored in, but not what it's stored it. Could be as simple as a "standard Alpha-level containment lockbox" or something to that effect. Remember conprocs are a quick-access instruction manual on "how to safely keep this thing stored".
- I'm always leery about anomalies with access that is left to the discretion of junior personnel; Level 2 clearance isn't very high on the totem pole for free access to an anomaly.
- I'd check the Security Clearance Levels page to make sure your nomenclature is right.
- I believe "Containment Addendum" is the standard name for something appended to the end of the conprocs.
- Maybe clarify in a footnote what a french-style chef's knife looks like?
- Also, I'd recommend tweaking the first sentence of your description so it tells the reader what the object is and its anomalous properties. It's a good intro and hook to the rest of the article.
- Not a mandatory detail, but analysis of flour grains, pollens and the like can determine the point of origin of a baked good pretty quickly- compare the analysis on the bread eaten by Otzi the Iceman, that let them locate his origins to a single valley in the Alps.
- Marzipan isn't a proper noun, doesn't need to be capitalized.
- Great image, but is it CC-compatible?
- In what medium was this infomercial network discovered? TV broadcasts are really easy to trace and locate the source of. I think you need some explanation of how an A!Co broadcast intruded on regular television.
- I like the Jim/Jose continuity- you've obviously done your research, but I'm not sure how I feel about establishing the two as people, if that makes sense. I think one of the things that makes A!Co as compelling as it is is how faceless it is. Maybe have the broadcast use a synthesized avatar, or a host that is very obviously not a person. The detail of the non-human bite mark was good- play that up more.
- I think we need a better explanation of why someone was moving an LAO, especially one that can injure people in non-anomalous ways, through a medical space.
- Also Authority facilities aren't spacecraft, you could just call it a medical center or a clinic or something.
- The "death" of Banh is a little unclear- is he just parroting phrases or is he conscious? Are you implying the Authority mercy-killed him because he was made of cake?
- Last addendum is 'erry nice. Good taking a concept to its logical conclusion.
Overall, this is a strongly-written first draft that's clearly had a lot of thought and research put into it. It's not quite ready to post yet, but I think with a bit of polish it'll make an excellent addition to the site. More like this, please.
The image of the cake was created by the _ bakeking.
If you don't have permission, you should delete it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CLcbpDoA0sD/
Brain images have also been identified and we should discuss the treatment of images once.
https://www.istockphoto.com/jp/%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%83%83%E3%82%AF%E3%83%95%E3%82%A9%E3%83%88/%E7%8F%BE%E5%AE%9F%E7%9A%84%E3%81%AA%E8%A6%8B%E3%82%8B%E8%84%B3%E3%82%B1%E3%83%BC%E3%82%AD-%E3%83%8F%E3%83%AD%E3%82%A6%E3%82%A3%E3%83%BC%E3%83%B3%E3%81%AE%E3%81%9F%E3%82%81%E3%81%AB%E4%BD%9C%E3%82%89-gm804459148-130689335
We don't really enforce image policies. Do include the source in an author post if possible but no one's going to go at your throat if you use a non-CC image.
I did message the creator of the first pic asking to use it with accreditation. The second picture on the other hand appears on several licensing sites, baking sites, but appears to have been made by a youtuber circa. 2016
They are amateurs when it comes to CC licensing because RPC uses many infringing images and there are no CC licensing rules.
If you are contacting the person who holds the copyright, you should also ask if they will apply the CC license.
If they get a CC license, they can use the images legally and they won't create a tragedy like SCP -173.
If you cannot get permission, you should not use that image.
At least your work will be registered without the image, so there is no need to be so particular.
Really, I like the article a lot and I don't have much to add. Looks good on my end.
- On-site ASF teams (NT-100 and TT-100 specifically)
ASF doesn't have NT-100 or TT-100. That is Protectorate. You could instead refer to a ranger station for immediate response.
Biomechanical Warriors™
Why'd they use the "tm" bit? It's not like they need to abide by copyright laws. I do find it funny that they somehow physically cannot write that without adding the tm.
non-indictive
Indicative
Although, based on the available evidence, The Authority suspects "Jim" may not exist.
This really doesn't feel necessary. It's kind of already implied.
While capable of speech, distinctly the phrases "It's my birthday" and "You forgot last year," Agent Bánh no longer reacted towards any stimuli, nor displayed any vitals or signs of life.
distinctly -> primarily
vitals -> vital signs
remove "signs of life"
had transformed en masse within the chest cavity
remove the entire crossed out section
was inert and had analogously transmuted into a red velvet cake
Fun article. Outstanding for a first entry. Can't think of much to add.
/forum/t-14918543/meme-draft#post-