Comments for page "RPC-344"

(no title)

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 10:27:54 +0000

Some of this is clever and some of it is dumb. The value of the tone screw was questionable. Some parts, like the description and interview, use it subtly enough, but the first two Addendums just feel like they were written this way so the author could use any perspective convenient. Articles have been created about anomalies that hindered the Authority's perception of them without using tactics like this.

The writing is often cheesy and unsubtle.

The mother is smiling as if normal.

They are frozen, mouths gaped at you.

The contortion allows her to drop into RPC-344 unobstructed. She is happy during this.

None of us know who "Dr. Gallo" is. We fondly recall Ray.

I don't think you always have to be "subtle", but it would be preferable to ease into it, especially when you're screwing with the tone.

The closing addendum wasn't an effective conclusion for me, because I didn't feel like it established anything new. This information may as well have been placed at the beginning, because it's unimpressive as a development.

As for what I thought was clever, the wordplay is a good starting point, I like the true basic concept of the anomaly, and the first "exploration log" was also well executed.

Empty sockets seek wet eyes, as dry mouths do water.

The criticism I have is that it doesn't feel like it's in service of anything. The reader doesn't know why it's here, or, if the article is constantly contradicting itself, why it matters.

My one takeaway is that the "author explanation" on this discussion page should've been the actual canon ending. Were it included, perhaps as an offset, I would have more appreciation for the twisted themes and ambiguity of the article. This mystery just doesn't get solved or explored in a satisfying way to me. 2/5

(no title)

Fri, 21 Oct 2022 01:12:44 +0000

I have no idea what the hell I just read

After reading the Explanation collapsible, I still have no idea what the hell I just read.

(no title)

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 15:30:06 +0000

The second exploration log feels completely unrelated to the first in terms of tone and implications. It kinda ruins the "subtly wrong" tone the first one establishes so skillfully.

The placing of the Addendum feels similarly weird. I understand that it is attempting to be a kind of "twist", but it is ineffective as a stinger and is, once again, somewhat of a breach in subtlety. I didn't think the old placement of this same content affected the content immediately after it in any way except setting up tone.

But frankly, after like… Six attempts now? Throughout so many months, the fact that it's out is good enough on its own.

Author post

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:46:53 +0000

You learn more by finishing a failure than you do by writing a success.

— Neil Gaiman

This is a collaboration with Kloth2.

Registered Phenomena Code: 344

Object Class: Alpha-Orange

Hazard Types: Sensory Hazard, Biological Hazard

Containment Protocols

RPC-344 is to be interred in Rochester Central Memorial Park¹ The previous location used for housing RPC-344 is being sanitized and fumigated, with reconstruction estimated to be complete in August 2021.

RPC-344-1 instances and previous RPC-344 staff are to be amnesticized and released with routine, follow-up surveillance conducted yearly.

Description

RPC-344 is the designation given to the memetically active but biologically inert corpse of Rachael Kirame Key, a Russian-American immigrant to the United States of America who died in her home in 1952.

By all records, RPC-344 was a non-anomalous individual prior to her death. Her existing diaries disclose severe grief after a young man by the name of Ray, who Rachael was engaged to for several years, was tragically killed by a tornado one day before their wedding.²

RPC-344's death has been deemed by local police as a "Romeo & Juliet" suicide. She was found within her hope chest along with a number of items she had collected over the years. The cause of death remains mysterious, but an autopsy suggested Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.³ She was found with a note, held in both hands and resting upon her chest. The writing of the note was illegible due to the moisture that had accumulated post mortem.

RPC-344's memetic qualities likely emerged gradually after death, with the current theory being that she had anomalo-genetics that rendered visualization of her skeletal system cognitohazardous.⁴ Through a series of mismanaged protocols, RPC-344 ended up in Authority custody, but by those who had been inoculated thoroughly with the memetic hazard.

Her body was kept within a maintenance closet in Site-028 that doubled as a highly illegitimate and unsanctioned “containment chamber”. A small, portable fan was found attached to a pipe in the closet, with the jet pointing upwards. Fresh AA batteries within indicate that the staff routinely changed them to keep it operating.

Numerous cadavers were found in the closet along with RPC-344, and were identified as deceased Authority personnel. Records had seemingly been doctored by site personnel for years, falsifying the legitimate exit of these employees to civilian life. Similar to the conditions of RPC-344's discovery, the causes of death for these individuals are not certain, however autopsies on each invariably reveal enlarged heart muscle due to stress, along with ruptured cordae tendenae,⁵ suggesting a similar type of stress-induced cardiomyopathy.

RPC-344 was only partially recoverable upon its second discovery, as those in the closet had before their deaths attempted irrationally to step inside the chest cavity and occupy the empty space therein, pulling at and crushing the sternum. Over time the desiccated tissue of the thoracic and abdominal cavities was reduced into an organic pomace, the pigment of which stains the floor and walls of the closet to this day. This compulsory behavior is assumed to be a component of the memetic effect, although likely an unintended result of something being lost in conceptual translation.⁶

The obituary of Rachael Kirame Key describes her as a faithful, loving, happy individual with an infectious laughter, "a smile that would melt your heart", and someone who people naturally wanted to get to know.

The body of her late fiance was never recovered.

Footnotes

Re: *****

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:44:18 +0000

Yeah, I read pretty fast & you had me hooked by the second sentence of the protocols 👍

Re: *****

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:42:58 +0000

Thanks! I was gonna say, that was real quick!

*****

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:41:04 +0000

I think the last sentence of the protocols is missing a few words. Other than that, great work, really atmospheric and good use of supplement docs in building a narrative. Five starred this early into my reading of it and didn’t see any reason not to keep it that way as I read it.

Anytime an article makes me think of Zork when I read it is gonna make me want to like it and this one didn’t even need to try hard at all to make me like it. It’s just effortlessly great.