GRP-619 - "The Tetranaughts and Their Stolen Sleigh"
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Registered Phenomena Code: 619
Containment Rating: Gamma
Lethality Rating: Red |
 Aggression |
 Ballistic |
 Climatological |
 Geological |
 Grouped |
 Invsibility |
 Psychotronic |
 Sapient |
 Sentient |
 Transmutation |
 Bio-Hazard |
 Contact |
 Corrosive |
 Electromagnetic Force |
 Explosive |
 Extreme Temperature |
 Radiation |
 Toxic |
 Destabilization |
 Extra-Dimensional |
 Gravitational |
 Teleportation |
 Temporal |
 Auditory |
 Emotional |
 Ideological |
 Info-Hazard |
 Memory Alteration |
 Mind-Control |
 Mind-Regression |
 Sensory |
 Visual |
 Animated |
 Aquatic |
 Ecological |
 Extra-Terrestrial |
 Immeasurable |
 Incorporeal |
 Mechanical |
 Microscopic |
 Organic |
 Regenerative |
 Titanic |
 Tychokinetic |
 Replicating |
 Newtonian |
 Ontological |
 Divine |
 Hallucinogen |
High Velocity |
 Proto-Mechanical |
 Proto-Newtonian |
 Proto-Sapient |
|
Containment Protocols:
As a member of the Consortium of Corporate Worlds, the GRP-619 species is not guaranteed legal protection under the Galactic Treaty. However, under the GRPC's personal galactic rights charter, GRP-619 instances will be granted civil liberties covered in the Xenoum Accords if their intentions are peaceful. Should a criminal GRP-619 breach containment or violate GT Space with hostile intent, it will be flagged as a fugitive. Once a security breach has been detected, a local emergency alert will be broadcast to the regional and adjacent star systems. A reward of six Jetons will be given to whoever can recover the rogue GRP-619 alive, and any non-excessive lethal force will be pardoned. If a military invasion occurs in a populated world, Ark Ship, or colony, GRPC Rangers should advise local police or militia to target the outbreak of GRP-619-1s. Once regional forces have proven themselves competent enough to handle an invasion, GRPC Rangers will attempt to locate and eliminate the offending instance and its affiliated GRP-619-1 swarm.
Detained GRP-619s will be put in a 10m3 plastic aquarium tank filled with saltwater and coral analogs native to their homeworld, Manawydan. Violent or non-cooperative GRP-619s will be transferred to a supermax containment cell. The GRP-619 supermax cell is opaque and suspended in an electrified 13m3 copper room. Imprisoned GRP-619s who demonstrate suspicion of Consortium conditioning may be rewarded with access to a 12.7cm wide TV, which will be installed outside their containment cell. GRP-619 prisoners with a TV are permitted to access various episodic series, shows, film catalogs, and other fictional media. On a 12th viewing, a random Christmas-themed seasonal film will begin to play. These festive films all include translations of official and unofficial behind-the-scenes commentaries by their creators. After the film has concluded, the nearest available XenoCom researcher will fill out a questionnaire based on GRP-619 responses. Questions about the film vary, and GRP-619's reactions or answers are inconsequential. Should GRP-619 insist that "there were no actors" or that "Santa is real," access to TV privileges shall be revoked for at least 48 hours.
Description:
Artistic rendition of a GRP-619 "Vo-Oko, Tetranaught leader"
GRP-619 "Tetranaughts" are aquatic extraterrestrial carbon-water-based organisms. Native to the ice moon of Manawydan, located in the Rhiannon System. Similar in appearance to members of the Octopodidae family, GRP-619 children possess anywhere from twelve to twenty tentacle-like arms, with their elders having up to forty limbs. The arms of any GRP-619 instance can be released through true autonomy, creating a GRP-619-1. Once these mobile GRP-619-1 lock onto an inanimate object, GRP-619's anomalous abilities will manifest. The GRP-619-1 will dissolve, converting its own biomass into biomechanical structures within the lifeless entity. These biomechanical variants are ambulant and linked to the host GRP-619 telepathically. In addition to granting inanimate objects mobility, the psychic connection lets the naturally mouthless GRP-619 communicate through their GRP-619-1s. The experiences of a GRP-619-1 construct, including its history before becoming a thrall, are sent telepathically back to its host GRP-619.
This telepathic power to trace the chronology of its GRP-619-1s has historically made GRP-619s remarkably gifted as hunters and chroniclers until coming across the Consortium. Experimental reports performed by the Psychic Command Corps show that GRP-619s could theoretically trace the history of specific atoms in an object back to the universe's beginning if trained to peer that far. However, the Consortium of Corporate Worlds' millennia of social and psychic conditioning have instilled multiple mental blockers within the GRP-619's collective unconscious. The full extent of damage caused by the mental blockers has yet to be determined. One of the only scrying limitations the Consortium has left untouched within the GRP-619 is the knowledge of items obtained in non-transactional events. While this block was theoretically intended for GRP-619s to locate only the Consortium's stolen goods, the mental block's broad scope inadvertently does not distinguish between stolen items and gifts and/or donated ones. This error has profound psychological effects on the outlook and culture of GRP-619s, who struggle to comprehend the significance of charity or fictional characters that engage in the practice, such as Santa Claus.
Discovery:
First contact between GRPC Rangers and GRP-619 occurred in the Bay of Lynx on 0011Orb/349Rot/22hr. GRPC recon scouts and a squadron of GRP-619 fighters returning from a survey mission crossed paths with a GRP-619 ship in the vastness of space. The brief interaction led to a conversation between both parties (see Interview Log 1). Despite the Consortium's adversarial nature to the GT, this initial interaction was peaceful and somewhat productive.
The GRPC would reencounter GRP-619 on Christmas Eve, 22 A.E.. At roughly 13:15, a cargo ship would dock in Ark Ship ASPS Big Apple's 52nd hanger. The freighter in question was registered under a Mr. ████ ██████, a Tibicen, a species whose homeworld borders Consortium Space. Three containers would be offloaded upon docking, each containing a shipment of drones. The cargo was scanned and deemed safe, and Mr. ████ ██████ departed shortly after.
Two hours later, a non-decompressive explosive breach was detected in the cargo bay. A skeleton crew of on-duty AppSec ship security forces set up a perimeter around the blast zone. Despite efforts from defending troops, multiple GRP-619-1 controlling ship repair drones compromised all cargo bay defenses. Approximately three minutes later, 17% of the Ark Ship interior was held hostage by GRP-619 and their automated army.
The first GRPC forces to respond to the infestation were a detachment of five alien Rangers from the G.R.S Thermopylae. The Ranger Spaceship had made a resupply stop at the FSM Ark Ship to partake in Christmas festivities. However, for cultural, moral, psychological, or esoteric reasons, said aliens had abstained from the celebratory rituals, opting to instead go out on a patrol. Their first engagement was with a swarm of GRP-619-1, accompanied by one GRP-619. The anomalies, controlling Christmas trees and knee-high nutcrackers, had been assaulting a choir of carolers. GRPC Ranger Alkik would perish in the ensuing battle, but in doing so, he bought the citizens enough time to escape. After this incident, GRPC and the remaining AppSec forces would launch a full-scale coordinated strike against the alien threat, culminating in a final push to retake the cargo bay. The battle would last roughly one hour, ending after the capture of two GRP-619s. Twenty-six Security and four Ranger would be lost that Christmas Day. The remaining GRP-619 escaped in the confusion via an FTL-capable escape pod. Before losing the craft's signal, their last known location was pinged, entering a star system bordering Consortium Space.
The two living alien invaders were taken into AppSec custody, but due to their innate anomalous nature, they were transferred to the GRPC. Rangers would interview the contained aliens, one by one, to determine the motive for why they launched their Christmas Day attack. Below are Interviews 1-2, detailing the first contact with GRP-619 and the conversation between Ranger and the Christmas Day invaders.
Interviews
This is a transcript of the first contact with the Tetranaught race, held in the Bay of Lynx between the G.R.S. Comet and the 3rd Tetranaught Reclaimer Fleet. The primary speakers representing the engagement parties were Captain Gene J. Ives of the GRPC and Repossessions Officer Zer-nit.
<Begin Log>
CPT. J. IVES: Hello, hello? This is Captain Ives of the G.R.S. Comet. I speak as a representative for the Galactic Rangers, holders of the Protection Corps rank within the Galactic Treaty. We are a scouting force; while we are armed, we come in peace. Now, to whom am I speaking?
OF ZER-NIT: You Human, yes? You understand English, correct?
CPT. J. IVES: Yes, that is correct.
OF ZER-NIT: Good, translation robot possession is functional. Profit well spent. Splendid this is.
CPT. J. IVES: Splendid, yes. So, to whom am I communicating with?
OF ZER-NIT: I am Zer-Nit, repossessor. I reclaim stolen and lost things.
CPT. J. IVES: Ah, a repo man. If you shoot me your business card, I might have some work for you in the future. I won't say much, but it involves a lawnmower and a lousy neighbor.
OF ZER-NIT: Negative, you are Galactic Treaty. Our services are forbidden to your kind.
CPT. J. IVES: Well, rats. And here I was, hoping I'd get it back before the Holidays.
OF ZER-NIT: Holiday? You refer to the day when a fat man in a spaceship distributes free goods and services to your people.
CPT. J. IVES: If by fat man, you mean Santa and by his spaceship, his sleigh, then yes, we will be celebrating Christmas very shortly. We're returning to base to refuel, celebrate, and get gifts. I know we serve two different masters, but why don't we let bygones be? Join us.
OF ZER-NIT: How is that possible?
CPT. J. IVES: Well, you steer your ship with whatever propulsion device you have-
OF ZER-NIT: No! How does Santa still deliver gifts?
CPT. J. IVES: With the power of magic?
OF ZER-NIT: No no no! Earth is gone! Santa's workshop is gone! We ruled out the possibility.
CPT. J. IVES: Buddy, you're treading on mighty thin ice. Keep yapping, and my Chief of Weapons' thumb is liable to slip.
OF ZER-NIT: Where is your Santa? We have questions for him.
CPT. J. IVES: You- I don't know. In the hearts of good boys and girls?
OF ZER-NIT: That is highly disturbing. We will look into this. Expect more questions in the future. Conversation over!
<End Log>
The following is the transcript of James T. Laserson, Captain of the G.R.S Thermopylae interrogation with GRP-619-A, aka Ava. The discussion took place in an AppSec supermax interrogation chamber. Terry was not provided with his universal translator. Instead, the conversation was translated via an in-room linguistics AI, which a GRP-619-1 had been permitted to infect.
<Begin Log>
CPT. T. LASERSON: You have so much to answer for. Do you even understand the shit you're in right now? If you, in any way, lie to me or use your voodoo psychic powers on this cell, I will not hesitate to atomize you! Do I make myself crystal clear?
AVA: I understand, Captain of the Protection Corps. I will not impede you from performing your duties; I hope you will not hinder mine.
CPT. T. LASERSON: Throws Coffee Mug at GRP-619-A's aquatic tank.
CPT. T. LASERSON: If your job is to exterminate my men, let alone Humanity, completing a job will be the least of your concerns.
AVA: You are misinformed. We, the Tetranaught Reclaimers, are not assassins. We came to this place because you have something—an item—that your people unrightfully stole from our client.
CPT. T. LASERSON: Stole! You attacked us because we stole something?
AVA: That is correct.
CPT. T. LASERSON: Hell, you could have told us. Humanity has a few bad apples, but the FSM would have helped you recover- Hell, I would have helped you recover these stolen goods, even if you're a Consortium goon.
AVA: That is unlikely. You are GT, and our client's property is not protected under your laws.
CPT. T. LASERSON: The GRPC operates above the law. If you had come to us with this grievance, we would have helped you.
AVA: But we did, and your people lied. There is no evidence to suggest your Santa Claus resides in the hearts of your young. We even attempted to explore Earth's North Pole, but the Soviets-
CPT. T. LASERSON: Wait, back up. Santa? What does he have to do with your stolen property?
AVA: My client, a Zidophant for the Intarem Corporation, has lost a prototype for an advanced faster-than-light propulsion drive. They'd build another, but I was informed the complex variety of the ship's schematics was destroyed. All that remains is a simplified schematic.
CPT. T. LASERSON: That doesn't explain how your missing FTL spaceship connects to Santa Claus.
AVA: This FTL Drive's specifications exceeded even your most effective Drunkmann Drives by magnitudes. It could traverse the galaxy in one of your Earth nights, or so I've been told.
CPT. T. LASERSON: Wait! Do you seriously believe Santa Claus stole your client's FTL Drive?
AVA: It's the only reasonable answer. Delivering gifts to all the human children across the galaxy in eight hours would require a ship like no other. He must have our client's drive!
CPT. T. LASERSON: Falls into his chair, laughing hysterically.
CPT. T. LASERSON: You can't seriously believe this.
AVA: You must understand. Our entire race is riding on this assignment. You can execute me, but if you don't hand over Santa Claus, my people will be indebted to the Consortium for centuries!
CPT. T. LASERSON: You killed my men over a God damn fairy tale.
AVA: You lie as well! My people have not come this far to succumb to your assigned web of conspiracies!
CPT. T. LASERSON: This is too surreal; I'm calling it.
AVA: Hear me, Human! No one, not you, not even his elves, can hide him from us!
<End Log>
Addendum.619.01: RPC-619 Incident Log(s)
In the years following the interview with GRP-619-A "Ava," multiple GRP-619 incursions were made, with each one becoming increasingly more erratic. Below is a list of documented culprits, their object of fixation, and their target.
| Instances |
Object of Fixation |
Target |
| RPC-619-A "Albert" |
A "Galaxys Best Boss" Mug |
Arrested while trying to break into the ██████ & ████ pottery shop. Rangers could not procure the target due to an unfortunate incident with the plasma kiln. |
| RPC-619-B "Birtha" |
A children's toy, Action Ranger 9000 |
Caught trying to interrogate a sweatshop worker aboard Ark Ship FSS The Rock. Escaped shortly after while Rangers attempted to fight off the action figure. |
| RPC-619-C "Charles" |
Softdrink with Santa Clause marketing iconography |
Was discovered by staff while attempting to sneak into a holiday office party. After injuring five employees with weaponized bottle rockets, corporate security detained RPC-619-C. RPC-619-C was later found deceased in a bowl of juice. The cause of death was determined to be a blood-alcohol level of .71 and severe blunt-force trauma to the cranium. |
| RPC-619-D "Desmond" |
A two-in-one hover surfer board |
Was flagged as foreign material by Hollywood Station's automated wave pool AI after its surfboard continuously rammed into other surfers. It was pumped through a water filter and was assumably terminated, though no remains were found. |
| RPC-619-E "Edward" |
A pair of silver thread silk socks |
Was thrown into a volcano after demanding to see the underside of a Tibicen. |
| RPC-619-F "Fredric" |
Communist Manifesto (Karl Marx Cover) |
Spacecraft was shot down trying to land on one of the Gulag worlds in the Procyon System. |
| RPC-619-G "Gary" |
Limited Edition Cyber Eyes for a Gynoid |
Was captured by the collector dubbed Mr. █████ and placed in their museum at ███ Station. After escaping, GRP-619-G turned the hefty Gynoid collection against Mr. █████. After reports from Mr. █████ to his insurance company suggested that he decided to write off ███ the Station as lost and destroyed it, along with GRP-619-G and its GRP-619-1s. |
Addendum.619.02: Confrontation of Tetranaughts
Photograph of the Rhiannon System, located in the outer rim of the Coalsack Nebula. The ice moon Manawydan is in the foreground, and the ice giant Lyr is in the background
After a series of Galaxy-wide complaints brought to the GRPC, XENO-COM sought a more direct approach to the GRP-619 situation. By triangulating the trajectory of GRP-619s that escaped detainment, the general location was narrowed down to somewhere in the Coalsack Nebula. Unfortunately, the exact location of the Tetranaught homeworld and the star system eluded the GRPC. These attacks would continue unimpeded until a stroke of luck brought a GRP-619 ship across the path of the GRPC. With a hefty dose of amnestics, the GRPC coerced the GRP-619 into revealing the source of the vessel and his homeworld in the Rhiannon System. With the galactic location now known to the GRPC, operation H.O.H.O 39 was enacted. This plan consisted of two steps. Firstly, a play at peace would be made under threat of planetary annihilation. If the GRP-619 race capitulated, the world would be forced to sever its ties to the Consortium and inducted into the GRPC's sphere of protection. On 0030Orb/359Rot/09hr, Twenty-six GRPC Jupiter-3s and Eight Highlanders entered the orbit of Manawydan to enforce this approach to peace procurement.
Addendum.2: RPC-619-∀ Interview
The following is a transcript of the peace talks between GRPC and the Tetranaught Reclaimer Corporation. Vo-Oko represents the planetary government. The primary speaker representing the GRPC is XENO-COM Researcher Mitch S. Harold, with FRONT-COM Admiral Gene J. Ives overseeing military logistics.
<Begin Log>
ADM. J. IVES: This is J. Ives, Admiral of the 28th GRPC attack fleet. An armada of GRPC warships currently surrounds your planet and its moons. If you attempt to launch fighters or any ground-to-surface weaponry, your people will face total annihilation.
VO-OKO: I see, but not your ships. Is this some trick?
ADM. J. IVES: It's the light lag. Our ship's afterimage will reach you shortly. But you won't see that happen because I'll renovate your petite ice moon into the Galaxy's largest hot tub.
RESCH. HAROLD: Now, now, no need for provocation. This is a peaceful diplomatic mission, after all.
VO-OKO: Ah, yes. Peaceful. So, demands, go on?
RESCH. HAROLD: Straight to the point, I like it. On behalf of the Galactic Treaty and all its signatories, we, the Protection Corps, request you halt all inquiries into the existence of a Santa Claus. Furthermore, for your safety, we, the GRPC, invite you to join the Galactic Treaty. If your people accept, we can legally protect you against retaliatory attacks. You will, of course, be expected to pay reparations to the offended parties hurt in your pursuit of the one known as Santa Claus.
VO-OKO: Stop looking for the thief. Pay for damages. Join the Galactic Treaty. Are these all your conditions for surrender?
RESCH. HAROLD: Indeed, that is all we ask.
VO-OKO: Then I can not oblige.
ADM. J. IVES: Alright, arming plasma cannons.
RESCH. HAROLD: Wait! Wait! Hold on, just a moment. Please explain to us why you can not agree to our terms.
VO-OKO: Simple logic. We owe debt. Big debt. To Consortium, we are property.
RESCH. HAROLD: So, debt slaves.
VO-OKO: Correct, that is an accurate description.
RESCH. HAROLD: Gosh. Well, this complicates things.
ADM. J. IVES: We still have our orders, Doctor. The Galactic Treaty is counting on us.
RESCH. HAROLD: Hold on, I'm thinking. What if, Vo-oko, how much do your people owe to the Consortium?
VO-OKO: Too much, planets worth. Or, theoretically, one anomalous spacecraft. It's the same vehicle, stolen by Santa Claus.
RESCH. HAROLD: Again, with Santa Claus. Ok, fine. Send me the design document for this ship.
ADM. J. IVES: What are you planning, Doctor?
RESCH. HAROLD: If the Consortium wants a Santa Claus so badly, we'll have to give it to them.
<End Log>
After the events of Interview Log 3, Dr. Harold and Admiral Ives order Vo-oko to board their ship as an assurance of cooperation. They would depart the GRP-619's homeworld and reposition themselves in a nearby abandoned factory located 5.2ly on an unnamed ice world. Utilizing the abandoned toy-making machinery, the GRPC would construct the hypothetical FTL ship supposedly stolen by the fictional character Santa Claus. Engineers had sparse information to go off of in the ship's design and had to repurpose one of the fleets Drunkmann drives as a stand-in for the hypothetical FTL mechanism. Once completed, GRPC Rangers used a Tetranaught communication network to message the nearest Intarem representative, letting them know their space-based asset was required. Roughly 27 orbits later, a mega yacht belonging to the CEO of Intarem Co. was pinged entering the system.
<Begin Log>
RESCH. HAROLD: Alright, the ship is ready, everyone's in their places, and the Consortium goons are in the system.
ADM. J. IVES: Captains, I need you all to maintain absolute radio silence—stay behind your asteroid or planet of choice. Don't emerge unless I give the go signal.
RESCH. HAROLD: OK, comms are open. Vo-Oko, you have the floor.
VO-OKO: Greetings Intarem. The bounty is present.
T. ZOFA TERES: Ah, excellent work, my esteemed employee. So, where is it?
VO-OKO: It's here, sir. Sending coordinates and opening the docking bay.
T. ZOFA TERES: I see. My optics team has a visual. They are imagining the craft now. Wait, it's-
VO-OKO: Unplesent report. The ship was badly damaged, and the thief had perished as well.
T. ZOFA TERES: [Beguins laughing uncontrollably]
VO-OKO: We apologize for the quality of the delivery. We request a drop in all debts and forfeit the contract pay. Such terms are fair, do you agree?
T. ZOFA TERES: Vo-oko, don't mistake my company or me for a bumbling band of gamblers. You are and have always been an investment. So far, you have been a profitable one, which we already knew a thousand years before introducing ourselves. We know a lot about your kind, favorite brands, ideals, and what makes you get up every morning. So, why in the heavens would you attempt a stunt like this?
VO-OKO: My sincerest apologies, employer-
T. ZOFA TERES: Silence. Answer me, Human.
VO-OKO: I can assure you, no Human-
T. ZOFA TERES: If you interrupt me again, Vo-Oko, I'll have your icy homeworld deforested and turned into a planetary sauna. Now answer, Human, and don't play coy. I can smell your Drunkmann warp signatures 100 light-years away.
RESCH. HAROLD: Your torment of the Tetranaughts has whipped them into a frenzy chasing a fictional character they will never find! So, we, the Rangers, on behalf of the Galactic Treaty, seek an end to this madness.
T. ZOFA TERES: Ah, so, it's the Bleeding Heart Protection Corps I have the most missed opportunity to speak with. I should have my troops incinerate your people for the cost of damages you've caused my company.
RESCH. HAROLD: I'd like to see you try.
T. ZOFA TERES: I honestly don't want to see you try. You've wasted my time and money as is, so I'll add 6.6% interest to the reclamation contract. Try to defend the Tetranaughts again, Ranger, and there will be war. Now, I have better places to be.
<End Log>
After the GRPC ruse failed to appease T. Zofa Teres, the Corporate representative, Admiral J. Ives, gave his fleet the sign to initiate a surprise ambush. Despite the Interem Corporation's best attempts to fight off the fleet, enough direct hits forced T. Zofa Teres to teleport his men onto the automated toy factory. There, throughout 2hrs 24 minutes, Rangers and Intarem Co. forces fought in a zero-g CQC battle across the Station. Midway through the conflict, Vo-Oko would convert the abandoned half-finished toys around the factory into his trawls. T. Zofa, despite their memetic abilities, had no power over the lifeless toys and would be captured. The following is a discussion between parties to negotiate a ceasefire.
<Begin Log>
RESCH. HAROLD: You, Ranger, by the door. Make sure nobody enters.
T. ZOFA TERES: Get this ridiculous contraption off my head. I can't hear myself think!
VO-OKO: You know that request is illogical. Removal of the psychic inverter would leave us defenseless against your anomalous powers.
RESCH. HAROLD: Don't sell yourself short, Vo-oko. You got Zofa in the bag.
T. ZOFA TERES: I'm simply out of practice. Your ability to weaponize these goofy little toy soldiers is just a gimmick. If we fought on fair terms-
RESCH. HAROLD: Oh, shut it. Every second you try to save face, dozens of both our men die pointlessly.
T. ZOFA TERES: Our men? My employees fight with the motivation and skill money can buy.
RESCH. HAROLD: What's that, minimum wage?
VO-OKO: Regardless of their determination, my animated toy soldiers currently outnumber your forces five to one, and they do not tire or bleed.
T. ZOFA TERES: You called my bluff. You're adorably confident for a Tetranaught. Very well, I'll send out a digital memo to my men telling them to halt their assault.
VO-OKO: And I want your company to drop the debt my people owe!
T. ZOFA TERES: Let's not get hasty.
VO-OKO: My people do not deserve this contract! Santa and your faster-than-light spaceship are irrelevant factors to me now.
T. ZOFA TERES: Let's say I return to the Consortium Board of Directors and tell them the Tetranaught Reclaimers have decided to renege on their contract with the Intarem Corporation. What do you think would happen?
VO-OKO: Threatening me does not increase your odds of leaving here alive.
T. ZOFA TERES: I'm sure it doesn't, so I propose an ultimatum. Let's sweep this incident under the rug; the Board doesn't have to know. Instead, we part ways, and you pay us back for the missing spaceship prototype plus interest.
RESCH. HAROLD: Yeah, about that, see, I've been wondering. Did you tell the Tetranaughts that Santa Claus stole your spaceship?
T. ZOFA TERES: Among other possible targets, yes.
RESCH. HAROLD: Interesting.
VO-OKO: What are you pondering, Human?
RESCH. HAROLD: As a member of Xeno Com, I've studied many alien cultures. The Zidophants, like our friend Zofa here, know Santa Claus is a fictional character.
VO-OKO: But Santa is real!
RESCH. HAROLD: No, we went over this. Like many aliens, the Zidophants are tricking you with their memetic powers. He'd be doing the same now if we hadn't put that psychic inverter on his head.
T. ZOFA TERES: I would never!
RESCH. HAROLD: Be honest with me, Zofa. There never was an experimental fastest in the universe prototype spaceship.
T. ZOFA TERES: Fine, I admit it! The previous CEO, the one before I, feared our corporation would go bankrupt in a few hundred orbits. So, he devised these schemes, creating fake prototypes and then claiming they went missing. If we needed to buy the company more time, we'd use the debt clause to siphon off the wealth of those who'd taken the contract. If they grow suspicious, we subtly rewire the collective subconscious to beleive in whatever we need them to; thus, the ruse continues unimpeded.
VO-OKO: You did all that, even if you knew you'd end up on Santa's naughty list?
T. ZOFA TERES: Oh shut up! If you're stupid species took the time to think it out, you'd realize nobody in this blasted cosmos would use that level of ungodly power to deliver gifts for absolutely free. If you want something in this cold, dark universe, you take it by the trunk and make others pay the cost. Despite your species' inferiority to mine, we can both understand that inalienable fact.
RESCH. HAROLD: If you give us another half-assed speech, I will shut off my translator.
VO-OKO: Zofa's analysis is correct, Human Ranger. My species had incredible power; we could have used our power to peer into the past of those fake schematics. But the prospects of wealth and status got in the way of our true potential. I'm sorry we tormented your people, Harold the Human. I'm sorry we tried to chase a fictitious dream. We were foolish to beleive that anything in this universe could be gained without exploiting another.
T. ZOFA TERES: The intern finally graduates. Vo-Oko, here's a new deal. Kill this insolent little Human Ranger, and I'll consider dropping the contract debt. I'll even drop the stolen prototype contract—real jobs for you and your boys only.
RESCH. HAROLD: Now, wait a second, Vo-Oko, the universe isn't a zero-sum game. We all win when we cooperate. Nobody has to lose here.
VO-OKO: I tempting proposition Harold the Human, but I'm done believing in fairytales.
<End Log>
After Action Report
After the events of (Interview Log 5), Vo-oko began to animate all the functions of the toy factory. In minutes, multiple Ranger holdouts were overrun by life-sized alien toys. With the operation H.O.H.O - 39 deemed an absolute failure, Admiral Gene J. Ives ordered his surviving ground forces to retreat to orbit, where they'd rendezvous with the fleet. During the chaos, a few survivors, including Researcher Mitch S. Harold, would be left behind. In a desperate last-ditch attempt to escape, Researcher Harold would lead his team to the barely functional mockup spacecraft designed to deceive Intarem Co. Although the mockup shift's controls were left unfinished, the crew took off and piloted back to the retreating fleet. A later disassembly and examination of the craft revealed a severed GRP-619-1, belonging to Vo-Oko, was wrapped around the internals of the ship's control panel. There's some debate among engineers and researchers about whether the mockup craft was controllable at all. Military analysts suggest that the placement of GRP-619-1 was an attempt to spy on GRPC personnel to learn the whereabouts of their HQ. However, all engineers swear the craft could not have been piloted in its state and that Vo-Oko had, in the end, had a change of heart.
Regardless of the theories, Vo-Oko never commented on or responded to GRPC inquiries. However, a small, high-speed spacecraft detected a package being fired off at the Rhiannon System the following Christmas. Before it could enter, GRPC spies intercepted it. The package contained a gift-wrapped doll made in the likeness of Vo-oko. Despite the GRPC's best attempts, the planet of origin from which the doll had come could not be determined, and it was shortly thereafter returned to its original trajectory toward the Tetranaught's homeworld.
