RPC-870 - RPC Authority

RPC-870

tagshow

Registered Phenomenon Code: 870

Object Class: Alpha-White

Hazard Types: Sapient, Extra-Dimensional

Containment Protocols: RPC-870 is to be kept in a light containment chamber. All rumors or proof regarding the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney are to be debunked and denied.

Testing regarding RPC-870 is to be performed regularly with a minimum of one Level-2 Researcher, who will operate RPC-870 and document results, and two supervising Level-3 Researchers.

Description: RPC-870 is a 1966 Ericsson T65 Rotary Telephone welded to a glass case containing a large amount of ice as well as what appears to be the frozen head of deceased American Entrepreneur Walter Elias Disney. There are no ports on the phone, preventing its use as a conventional telephone. Dialing a number and taking the handset off as if making a call allows the phone operator to speak with an entity designated RPC-870-A.

This entity claims to be the deceased Walter Disney, who is unaware of the fact that he is deceased. RPC-870-A is willing to discuss many different topics but will typically lose focus and quickly segue back to the topic of his “EPCOT Project.¹”

RPC-870-A claims that they are currently inside their theme park, Disneyland, but they have noted that the layout and design of the park in general, as well as specific features are vastly different. They have noted that it is continuously around sunset, and the entire park is empty, with a large amount of sand and dust on the park.

Discovery: RPC-870 was discovered on December 17th, 1966, after Disney had been interred at Forest Lawn Cemetery. It was found sitting in Disney’s chair behind his desk by Ub Iwerks, who believed it to be a disturbing prank after seeing it and using the phone to speak to RPC-870-A. Embedded Authority agents were alerted regarding this, taking RPC-870 without any issues.

Experiment Log: After RPC-870 was acquired, attempts to understand the nature of RPC-870-A were made. Current experimental procedures consist of a participating researcher and an observing researcher. The former will note what they hear via RPC-870, while the latter will write down the actions of the former in order to observe potential memetic effects. In order to have constant cooperation, participants were instructed to refer to RPC-870-A however they wanted to be referred to as.

Experiment 1: 12/19/1966

Participant: Junior Researcher Backster
Observer: Researcher Toanee

Backster picks up the phone and appears to wait for several seconds

RPC-870-A - Hello? This is Walt Disney speaking.

Backster - Yes, this is Dr. Backster, we talked earlier about the Florida Project. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

RPC-870-A - Questions? Well as long as it doesn’t take too much time Dr. Backster. We’re always, chuckles, we're always letting time slip away from us, you know.

Backster - Well I was wondering, Mr. Disney, where are you right now?

RPC-870-A - Well, now that you mention it, it seems I've lost myself in thought in Main Street again. I’m sitting in… Disneyland, or so I presume.

Backster - So you… presume? What do you mean by that, Mr. Disney?

RPC-870-A - Well, first things first Dr. Backster, I'll have no more of the Mr. Disney this Mr. Disney that. Just call me Walt if you would. Anyways, I believe I’m in Disneyland, but it certainly looks different from the last time I remember being here. For one there’s plenty of sand all over the grounds, enough to come up to my ankles, were I to place my foot down to the ground. Then there’s this aggrandizing statue of myself holding Mickey Mouse’s hand. I’m sure I would’ve remembered asking to get this installed. And I can’t even see Edison Square! It should be right in front of this bench as well. It’s all… quite peculiar.

Backster - Do you know how you got to Disneyland, or wherever this is?

RPC-870-A - Oh, I wouldn't worry yourself over that. I’m sure I just brought the girls here and let them go with their mother and play while I went back to working on EPCOT. Ah, EPCOT, it’s truly going to become something special. I can feel it.

Backster - Are you sure ab-

Researcher Backster stops talking and begins taking notes immediately

RPC-870-A - Oh I’m quite sure Dr Backster, now like I said I need to get back to work, I’ve let too much time slip by talking about needless things, have a great day sir, and remember, if you can dream it, you can do it.

Researcher Backster stops taking notes and becomes silent for a moment

Backster - Walt? Walt?

Researcher Backster sighs and places the phone on its receiver.

Experiment 5: 2/16/1967

Participant: Junior Researcher Backster
Observer: Researcher Toanee

Researcher Backster picks up the receiver

Backster - Hello, Walt?

RPC-870-A is heard humming to itself before responding

RPC-870-A - Doctor Backster I presume? Are you doing well? It feels like you've been calling every ten minutes.

Backster - That’s what I was about to get into Walt, I know you mentioned in our last call that I seem to have been calling over and over, but it has been approximately 19 hours since our last correspondence

RPC-870-A - Huh. I guess, uh, time flies when you’re having fun as they say. Anyways I’ve noticed, while I’ve been staring out at ol’ Sleeping Beauty Castle, it seems to be just a bit different. The whole castle seems to be much larger with more towers than how I remember it.

Backster - Very Intriguing.

Backster - Speaking of what you’ve been doing, I have to ask if you’ve gotten hungry or thirsty or really felt the need to leave that bench?

RPC-870-A - Now that you mention it, now I’ve never felt any hunger or felt the need to drink anything either. Well, no mind; I keep getting distracted and I should get back to my discussion of EPCOT’s infrastructure, remember that? Now as I was telling you earlier, all of the above ground roads will be handled with the WEDway PeopleMover system while there would be a set of underground roads on which cars would travel. Now these roads-

Researcher Backster writes down "Walt continues to repeat the same explanation of EPCOT's transportation seen in Experiments 2 and 4" and waits for another minute and a half before speaking

Backster - Yes Walt, you explained everything about the 3 different separated tracks for transportation to me the last time we spoke. Are you sure you're okay, you apparently haven't had anything to eat or drink for a least a few hours?

RPC 870-A - Oh, that so, is it? Hmm, I could have sworn we'd only talked a little about that. You uh, even remember talking about how we were going to add that more accurate-

Researcher Backster closes his eyes and rubs his forehead

Backster - PeopleMover at the Magic Kingdom's Tomorrowland, yes, I remember it quite well. Are you sure that you're, okay? You haven't had a thing to eat or drink for the last several hours.

RPC-870-A - Yes, I feel great, if anything, I haven't felt this energized in weeks! I've been so tired, and it felt like I could hardly breathe! But now, I feel like I can work on this project for well… as long as I can. Although honestly, I've not been able to concentrate much with all your calls and all your queries.

Backster - Well, uh, Walt? I was wondering if-

RPC-870-A - That is exactly what I'm referring to. I'm sorry doctor, but I can't answer questions all day. I need some time alone, time to think. Have a good day doctor.

RPC-870-A hangs up the phone

Experiment 12: 5/16/1967

Participant: Researcher Backster
Observer: Researcher Toanee

Researcher Backster picks up the receiver

Backster - Hello? Walt?

Researcher Backster writes down "No response for 15 seconds again. End Experiment?"

Backster - Walt? are you there?

Backster - Hello?

Footsteps are heard approaching the phone

A voice, presumably RPC-870-A, is heard sighing before picking up the receiver

RPC-870-A - Doctor Backster, I assume.

Backster - Yes, how have you been Walt? It's been a while since we've last talked.

RPC-870-A - I feel… disappointed. I feel like I keep going around in circles when it comes to EPCOT. Every time I think I've come up with a great new idea, I'm reminded that I already tried that idea. I keep trying to make layouts for EPCOT, but every time I try the wind blows the sand all around and ruins the image.

Backster - Have you only been focused on EPCOT? It's been months since we last spoke. I mean have you looked around to try and figure out what's happening arou-

RPC-870-A - I know what's around me, Backster! I'm in Disneyland, I've been in Disneyland, and I'll stay in Disneyland until I finish EPCOT!

RPC-870-A becomes silent for a moment

RPC-870-A - Its fitting, isn't it? I'm sure I could leave and go back to the studio but staying here, among my monuments to man's progress, and surrounded by a monument to my hubris. A goddamn theme park… didn't take 'em long to steal that idea from me. It's just like everything else. Just like Oswald, just like my boys, everybody wants a piece of the damned pie.

Backster - I'm afraid I don't follow, Walt.

RPC-870-A - I'm sure you've heard the story, I was sitting there in Beverly Park, watching my daughters go on the Steeplechase for the hundredth or so time when it came to me, why not make a park the adults and kids can enjoy and so on and so forth. That was the truth, I liked the idea of making this park, but to tell the whole truth I needed to break away from being just another animator. Ever since those damned commies came and brainwashed my boys, I needed to get out of that studio. But the more it went on the more I realized I couldn't stay as the head of Walt Disney Animation, or I'd just end up like Pat Sullivan.

Backster - I'm sorry, who's Pat Sullivan?

RPC-870-A - Thank you doctor, you proved my point. Pat Sullivan's the Felix the Cat guy, or at least he was until one of his animators claimed to be the true creator of Felix the Cat. I'm sure the same will happen with Mickey and Oswald, doesn't matter now though. I can see that the rats who steal your food are present everywhere. Freedomland USA, have you heard of that at least?

Backster - N-No sir, I haven't.

RPC-870-A - Well… I don't know whether I should be happy about that or not. That was an attempt by some rats to take my success, my achievement, and use it for their own gain. Luckily, I suppose, that didn't turn out too well for them. The place closed in 4 years because they couldn't replicate what was truly special about Disneyland. But it won't matter for long. Somebody will replicate it; they'll find that special ingredient and milk it for all its worth.

Backster - But Wal-

RPC-870-A - Don't even start, doctor. I've spoken with you enough to understand you just don't get it. None of you get it! Roy doesn't get it, Ub didn't get it, you, you most definitely do not get it, nobody understands! I can't just watch my legacy fall apart like this! EPCOT is the only thing that will make me anything more than the-the Mickey Mouse guy! I can see it now, covering the Headlines, "Mickey Mouse Artist and Disneyland Owner Dies" and the, and the name Walter Elias Disney is saved for the obituaries. But EPCOT, that's what can save me. I thought by showing the world what man could do, changing the way we see our future would be enough, but I realized I-I have to, I have to be that future, I have to, yes, I have to forge it with my own two hands.

RPC-870-A - I'm done talking with you doctor. Don't call this number again.

Experiment 20: 2/14/1968

Experiment 25: 12/05/1968

Following more failed attempts to contact RPC-870-A again, it was believed that perhaps one of Disney's confidants would be able to get RPC-870-A to communicate with them, as well as confirm its identity as the real Walt Disney. It took 4 months to get approved and set up, conveniently allowing Researchers to have the experiment take place on December 5th, Walt Disney's birthday.

Authority agents in the Orlando Police Department were able to arrange a meeting with Roy O Disney and explain the situation. The agents explained that an anonymous caller had been using Disney's name to make calls around the area, but that he was too hard to distinguish from the real Walt. They told him that they figured Roy would be able to call out whatever he didn't know and possibly figure out who it was, since his knowledge of Walt's life was pretty extensive. He agreed, and was given a P-1 amnestic before using RPC-870 to communicate with RPC-870-A

Participant: Roy O. Disney (referred to as Disney for brevity)
Observers: Researchers Toanee and Backster

Disney approaches the phone

Disney - Are you pulling my leg here? How does this thing even work? This better not be a waste of time. I'm having a hard enough time trying to finish what my little brother started, I don't need any distractions.

Disney is asked to cooperate and Researcher Toanee states that the Phone is hooked up under the box

Disney picks up the phone

Disney - Hello there 'Walt'

Disney - Oh yeah, it's me, 'big bro Roy'

Disney appears to listen before suddenly speaking

Disney - Okay, Okay I've heard enough. You certainly sound like Walt; you do a good impression, I guess, but you need to stop this shit. Walt may have been a bit fixated in his final years, but he certainly wasn't this bad.

Disney - Really? You're gonna keep going along with this? Fine. If you're really my brother, Walter Elias Disney, then tell me this. When you were just a little boy, living in a country home outside of Kansas City, what was the name of the park you always kept asking about and wanting to go to.

Disney - W-Well yeah, all parks were powered by electrici-

Disney - No, no, this isn't real. Walt is dead, you hear me? You're dead!

Disney - I mean no, I don't know anybody who sounds exactly like you and knows that much about you, but it just doesn't make sense

Disney - EPCOT? Why are you back to talking about that!? Please, I'm having enough trouble understanding this…

Roy rubs his forehead with the ball of his free hand before slamming the hand on the table

Disney - No, NO! You must just be some neighbor or something! What was the original plan for Disneyland?

Disney - Yeah, you're right, it was a miniature train track around a model village beside the studio… Jesus.

Disney - I just fucking told ya why I keep asking you this shit. You're dead Walt. You died December 15th, 1966.

Disney - No Walt it wasn't just some little private thing I misremembered. It was all over the papers Walt, "World Enchanter, Walt Disney dead," "Walt Disney, 65, Dies on Coas-

Roy pauses for a moment

Disney - You want me to repeat that to you? Jesus, if you're trying to impersonate my brother you musta thought he was one sadistic fuck, making me remember all those papers.

Disney - W-Well yeah of course they all said the name Walt Disney what would you expect?

Disney - Are you okay? You sound a little emotional over there.

Disney - Walt, if it's really you, I thought you would know that no matter what, you had become known as an innovator far more than you thought. Nobody compared you to Fleischer or somebody like that. You were in the same league as Rockefeller or even Ford.

Disney - Yes, they really did compare you to Ford, the very same one you wouldn't stop yappin' about when you were younger.

Disney - Walt, you never needed EPCOT to be taken seriously by anybody but yourself. When you died, I showed the idea of EPCOT to every big shot in Florida, and you know what they all told me? Only Walt Disney had the vision to make that real, nobody else had that imagination and drive to make it all go right.

Disney - Not everybody gets to live forever Walt, but you're one of the few people who will, through your art, through Disneyland, and through EPCOT.

Roy chuckles to himself for a minute

Disney - What? Don't tell me you didn't think your big brother wouldn't help you out like he always did. I'm currently overseeing all construction of the Florida Project, and everything's been going smoothly. So please, just get a move on! Mom and Dad have been waiting 2 years too many to see their son and congratulate him, and I know if I don't see you when I get up there, I'll come straight back down to bail you out again.

Disney - What? You want me to sing for you? Do you not remember how that turned out at the Snow White block party?

Disney - Alright, just this once for you, I guess we'll see if we can outdo the Shermans. There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, shining at the end of any day. There's a Great Big Beautiful tomorrow and tomorrow's just a dream away…

Disney - There's… There's a great, big… Walt? Walt, are you still there?

Roy puts RPC-870 back on its receiver, as he walks away the head of Walt Disney is no longer visible within RPC-870

Disney - He's gone now, I think. Thank you, for, uh, whatever that was.

Roy opens the door to leave before turning to the two researchers

Disney - Gotta say, that was one great impersonator…

Post Experiment Notes: Following the experiment, Roy was injected with the P-2amnestic, while Researchers investigated RPC-870. He was told that the phone was nothing more than a prank, but he suddenly felt ill after talking to it and fainted. He was asked to get some rest and that the agents would be investigating the phone.

As noted, the head was no longer visible, and the ice within was beginning to melt. Over the next few hours, the ice melted completely, leaving nothing but a small amount of water in the bottom of the box. All attempts to use RPC-870 led to hearing nothing but wind and the distant sound of music. Reclassification of RPC-870 to Lesser Anomalous Object pending.

alpha extra-dimensional-hazard rewrite rpc sapient-hazard translated white

page revision: 9, last edited: 19 Jul 2023 01:34

Edit Rate (+4.4) Tags Discuss (8) History Files Print Site tools + Options

RPC Authority

Research, Protection, Containment