h-grouped.pngGrouped h-organic.pngOrganic h-sentient.pngSentient h-visual.pngVisual

An instance of RPC-804 at recovery.
(Cognitohazards censored.)

Registered Phenomena Code: 804

Object Class: Alpha-Yellow

Hazard Types: Grouped Hazard, Organic Hazard, Sentient Hazard, Visual Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-804 instances are kept in a standard biological containment room at Site-002. Personnel who wish to study RPC-804 must have a recorded score of 25 or higher on the Canton Cognition Resistance Scale.

Description: RPC-804 is the designation given to a sentient species of parasitic shampoo bottles, with a currently recorded population of 46. RPC-804 instances are visually similar, appearing as green bottles of shampoo with each instance bearing different arbitrary markings. The markings exert a visual cognitohazardous effect on direct observers which causes them to view RPC-804 as a bottle of shampoo they currently own. If the individual does not own a bottle of shampoo, RPC-804's appearance will be unaffected.

RPC-804 is not directly harmful and instances are capable of limited movement.1 Harmful effects occur when the liquid (designated RPC-804-1)2 inside RPC-804 is used to wash the hair of any living mammal.3 When used on a living mammal, hereby designated RPC-804-A, RPC-804-1 induces a mild burning sensation. 24 hours following the use of RPC-804-1, the hair of RPC-804-A will begin to harden and RPC-804-A will enter a vegetative state. During a two day period following this, the hair and nails of RPC-804-A will retract into the body. RPC-804-A will then begin to produce anomalously high amounts of hard alpha-keratin, concentrated near the top of the scalp. Any number of RPC-804 instances from one to seven4 will grow outward from the head of RPC-804-A. RPC-804-A will then exit its vegetative state, with considerable brain damage and the inability to grow hair or nails.

RPC-804 instances do not communicate with eachother; it is unknown if they are incapable of communication, or simply unwilling to. RPC-804 instances in containment remain immobile for extended periods of time, infrequently moving short distances for presently unknown reasons. It is unknown if instances are aware of their nature or surroundings. Additionally, RPC-804 instances do not require sustenance. Researchers have unsuccessfully attempted feeding captive instances with edible substances; various substances include monosaccharides, produce, and meat. To date, no contained instances have expired.

Discovery: RPC-804 was initially discovered in the ███████ Children's Foster Home in ███████████, Missouri, following reports of all individuals in the building losing their hair overnight and their subsequent inactivity during the next two days. ASF Rapid Response Team Bravo-2 "Bright and Sunny" was dispatched and 41 instances of RPC-804 were located and collected. Witnesses were issued amnestics and directly affected individuals were brought to Site-002 for further study.

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