Sweet Tooths
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Registered Phenomena Code: 746
Object Class: Beta-Yellow
Hazards: Transmutation Hazard
Containment Protocols: Following standard operating procedure1, all shipments of RPC-746 are to be inspected primarily for any contamination or new instances, with samples taken at the discretion of the Head Researcher. After inspection and possible sampling, the remaining RPC-748 instances are to be incinerated. Testing with RPC-746 instances are to be limited to elderly CSD with decent dental hygiene.
Head Researcher notice:
Personnel requesting RPC-746 instance “Vanilla” whether for personal use or “testing” are hereby denied. Don’t rely on anomalous means to make up for poor dental hygiene, especially with inconclusive long-term testing.
Description: RPC-746 instances refer to an Amazing! Co brand chewing gum labelled and marketed as “Sweet Tooth”, or plurally “Sweet Tooths”. There are currently 25 different flavours accounted for, with 47 other flavours yet to be seen but advertised alongside currently available RPC-746 instances.
5 minutes of chewing an RPC-746 instance will cause all of the victim’s teeth to be altered into a form of candy, with no inner roots holding these teeth any slight force usually dislodges them from the gums. Most victims do not realise this transformation has occurred until approximately 10 seconds after the transformation, where most subjects appear to accidentally swallow or shatter their own teeth. All subjects have declared the transformations and the removal of teeth as completely painless, albeit shocking.
All RPC-746 instances with no prior contamination2 have confirmed this anomalous trait, though the final outcome of the victim’s teeth appears to depend on the flavour. All documented instances so far include:
- Bubblegum: Subject’s teeth were multicoloured, seemingly consisting of a hard candied “shell” with a softer but chewy material inside. Each tooth when consumed by others acted as further instances of RPC-746 with slight flavour variation depending on the colour on the shell.
- Apple: Subject’s teeth became gummy-like with a sour liquid in the middle. Biting into one of these teeth would spurt the liquid inside the mouth of the consumer and leave the inside stained green. It takes approximately 1 month for this colour to fade.
- Strawberry: Subject’s teeth became fleshy and soft with a faint red pigmentation visible. If bitten into, the tooth secrets strawberry juices. No other anomalous traits seen.
- Caramel: Subject’s teeth darkened to a shiny brown discolouration and became extremely soft, malleable and sticky. Many subjects showed significant difficulty when attempting to eat, and difficulties digesting were noted with some subjects suffering further complications such as severe constipation. Laxatives were used to effectively remedy these complications.
- Hard candy (assortment): Subject’s teeth became brittle and took on colours of various hard candies associated with the certain flavours (candy canes, candy corn, jolly ranchers, etc).
- Chocolate: Subject’s teeth darken to a brown discolouration, transforming into cacao chocolate. Most victims dissolved their own teeth through naturally produced saliva and remarked on either the richness or the bitterness of the chocolate.
- Sour: Subject’s teeth become soft and elongated, gaining a segmented stripped colour pattern with sour crystals. Many subjects described the flavour as bizarre, between a mix of blood and the intended sour candy.
- Cola: Subject’s teeth became quickly encased with a thin flap of their own gums encasing the teeth and forming a watertight webbing-like outer shell. When said shell is burst, the tooth inside appeared to have transformed into liquid, tasting similar to most forms of cola. Most subjects comment on the carbonated fizziness, with the duration and texture lasting for approximately 1 day in the subject’s mouth.
- Banana: Subject’s teeth become swollen and mushy, bearing a close resemblance to cut banana tips. No other anomalous occurrences occur when consumed, but researchers catalogued the potassium present in one instance is twice the amount of a regular banana.
- Lemon: Subject’s teeth turn into lemon pips. Most subjects show disgust and discomfort swallowing these at first but quickly find the pips edible and somewhat nourishing.
- Cherry: Subject’s teeth take on a webbing/outer shell similar to the Cola transformation, with the liquid inside instead being Brandy. Despite the small alcohol content, most subjects become intoxicated for approximatly 6 hours following digestion.
- Liquorice: Subject teeth become blackened and soft, with the tooth extending in length 1cm hourly. Like common liquorice, the flavour is an acquired taste between test subjects.
Addendum: It has since been found that deformed or contaminated RPC-746 instances have the possibility of creating alternate anomalous occurrences.
- Cherry (Contaminated): Subject’s teeth turn into small live birds. Subjects encouraged to devour these birds reported they taste sweet, with one former hunter adding the taste was “similar to game meat”.
- Cola (Contaminated): Subject’s teeth rot from the inside out. These teeth however are still edible despite looking and smelling decayed. Most subjects reported these teeth taste like flat cola before vomiting.
- Orange (contaminated): Subject’s teeth swell 2cm in width, leading to severe dental complications with buckling between teeth, loss of teeth and tearing of root canals being common. Many subjects faint from pain during the initial transformation and dental surgery is required to allow for proper eating.
- Apple (Contaminated): Similar result to Contaminated Orange.
- Vanilla (Contaminated?)3: Subject’s teeth become whitened and seemingly become invulnerable. Dentist tools have no effect on these teeth and no plaque build up has been seen since testing. CSD test subject has been kept for prolonged testing, and no dental work has been required since the original test back in 2004.4
- Coffee (Contaminated): Subject’s teeth crumple into instant coffee. Many subjects declare the coffee as being “burnt” and “extremely bitter mixed with artificial sweetener”.
- Lemon (Contaminated): Lemon branches sprout out of the subject’s teeth. each branch bears between 1-3 large bright yellow teeth. These teeth are inedible.
- Carrot (Contaminated?): Victim’s express it tastes like extremely minty toothpaste and many with sensitive teeth often spit out the instance upon first taste. No anomalous traits have been perceived5.
BIOLOGY DEPARTMENT
Office of Analysis and Science Thesis summary:
As seen in fig. 1 and 2 (UNAVAILABLE IN SUMMARY), the function of the extracted anomalous chemicals existing within these RPC instances appear to create different reactions depending on the “flavour”, but the same catalyst has been identified in all instances so far. The victim’s enamel reacts to the anomalous chemicals and begins the “transmutation” process of the teeth. The various other chemical reactions of all flavours have been catalogued on the blow table (fig. 3) Experiment 746-3 also confirms this with the application of an enamelling agent (Nucorp Item #████████) onto a chicken drumstick and receiving the same reaction as a tooth.
The “Vanilla” instance is a very interesting specimen. After extraction of the chemicals and administering it to a tooth we treated it in a controlled environment which is meant to encourage plaque build up. We saw absolutely no signs of potential plaque or cavity build up after 3 weeks. Upon microscopic inspection, we were surprised to see the enamel not only enhanced in this instance but actively fighting back against plaque build up similar to a white blood cell with the slow assimilation of any bacteria on the enamel. How Amazing! Co was able to transform a bodily defence function into a micro-antibiotic is incredibly peculiar. More experimentation is required to inspect if this process has unwanted side effects, but we hypothesise a complete and indefinite protection against dental deterioration.