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RPC-741 upon initial recovery


Registered Phenomena Code: 741

Object Class: Beta-Orange

Hazard Types: Sentient Hazard, Aggression Hazard, Grouped Hazard, Ideological Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-741 must be stored inside a large containment locker within Sector-002 of Site-016. All manifested Simpsons paraphernalia or RPC-741-1 instances found within the containment locker are to be disposed of routinely via incineration. Authority agents embedded within The Simpsons production team, or 20th Century Studios managerial staff, either through direct positioning or monetary compensation, are to ensure the production of official Simpsons merchandise remains undisrupted indefinitely.

Media manipulation efforts are to be made to promote the popularity of merchandise products relating to The Simpsons. Public opinion on the franchise, in general, is to remain favourable. Security staff inside of Site-016, as well as agents embedded inside of 20th Century Studios, are to be prepared in the event The Simpsons ever experiences a dramatic decrease in popularity, air-time presence, or sales of paraphernalia.

Description: RPC-741 is a large mass composed primarily of a pigmented yellow substance with a texture akin to that of dough. RPC-741 resembles the disembodied upper head of Homer Simpson from the popular animated American TV sitcom The Simpsons. RPC-741's appearance does not bear full resemblance to that of Homer, as it is missing his hair and most of his ears.

Analysis of the interior structure of RPC-741 reveals it to contain a series of large intertwined arteries. These organs serve as the nesting grounds for instances of RPC-741-1, an indeterminate species of Culicidae — bright orange in hue — altered to have their heads resemble that of Bart Simpson, who is portrayed as the son of Homer Simpson in the show.

RPC-741 has displayed sensory awareness through physical contact but will only react with unintelligible lines spoken by various characters of The Simpsons, primarily Homer and Bart.

While normally passive, RPC-741 will become increasingly hostile if it senses that the television show of its origin sees any memetic signs of a decline of cultural relevance, such as a prolonged absence of content production between the airing of new episodes or seasons or a decrease in Simpsons-related merchandise sales. When in an angered state, RPC-741 will emit groaning or screaming noises, especially when around personnel.

Eventually, RPC-741-1 instances will begin to exit through small holes that appear across RPC-741. Upon exiting, instances of RPC-741-1 will begin to seek out individuals with a relatively positive opinion of The Simpsons. Instances will then attempt to collect blood from such individuals before returning to RPC-741. They will then transfer blood to RPC-741 through intraarterial injections via their proboscis. Following successful hemotransfusion, affected individuals have shown a dramatic increase in favorability towards Simpsons-related media, often to an obsessive level until RPC-741 returns to its passive state.

Transferred blood is converted into additional mass, which causes RPC-741 to increase in size, later transmuting into merchandise products through a currently undetermined metabolic process. Once the merchandise has been constructed, a group of 5 or more RPC-741-1 instances will attempt to deliver said merchandise to fans of the Simpsons or to stores that already sell official Simpsons merchandise within a 20-kilometer radius of RPC-741. If merchandise cannot be delivered, it will be stored inside or nearby RPC-741 until an opportunity arises. Additional RPC-741-1 instances will emerge from RPC-741 until the social decline of The Simpsons franchise, in general, has ended.

Addendum-741-1: Recent samples taken from RPC-741 have shown it to be composed primarily of the following material:

  • Doughnut batter (dyed with lemon food colouring); non-anomalous, edible.
  • An unidentified, fermented beverage; was reported to have a bitter taste.
  • Trace blood samples identical to that of several individuals involved in the production of The Simpsons.

Forensic analysis has confirmed several matches to those of the current writing and production staff responsible for producing the series. While RPC-741 also holds the DNA of former staff, the amount present is marginal in comparison to staff currently working on The Simpsons. The DNA of the show's creator, and original head producer of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, as well as the show's co-creators and current executive producers James L. Brooks and Al Jean, has reportedly decreased significantly since containment.

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