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The storage of Supermarket ██████, shortly before ASF Rapid Response Team started fumigation protocols.
Registered Phenomena Code: 682
Object Class: Beta-Yellow [Gamma reclassification pending]
Hazard Types: Bio-Hazard, Contact Hazard, Sensory Hazard, Transmutation Hazard
Containment Protocols: RPC-682 is to be contained by ASF Rapid Response Team ("Nasty Fumigators") disguised as civilian fumigators. Nests of RPC-682 must be sanitized and/or incinerated alongside single RPC-682-1 instances, former nests must be buried in dirt and affected buildings are to be surveyed for a minimum of 10-11 days including all of its beauty products (including hygienic products as of 2/12/20██. See Addendum 682-B). If any unusual news about possible uncontained RPC-682-3 are to be found, Authority operatives are to search and cover information in the case RPC-682-3 and RPC-682-2 are confirmed. Said operatives must be wearing a gas mask at all times and avoid contact with RPC-682-2 and -3 instances. RPC-682-2 and RPC-682-3 instances are to be destroyed, their remains must be incinerated and their location sanitized to avoid any kind of infection.
Description: RPC-682 is the collective designation of an anomalous sub-species of the Australian cockroach, Periplaneta australasiae. RPC-682-1 are said instances which are distributed across urban areas. Nests of RPC-682-1 usually appear near supermarkets and shopping centers. RPC-682-1 are 23–35mm in length and have an unusual bioluminescent line in the lower part of the prothorax. RPC-682's behavior shows nothing out of the ordinary with the exception of pheromone excretion, as RPC-682-1 instances have a distinct smell extremely similar to shampoo and other washing products. Every summer season will cause RPC-682-1 to undergo Event 682-Alpha.
Event 682-Alpha: In this event, every RPC-682-1 instances affected by Event 682-Alpha will search for beauty products (shampoo and perfume bottles, hand soap, etc.) inside the nearest supermarket or shopping center and will then perforate them with a (as of now unknown to any other periplaneta species) proboscis and dispense a light brown substance into the beauty products. A secondary anomalous effect will cause the brand name of the beauty product to spontaneously change to "Arnulf's Almond Metamorphosis©: Remake your beauty like a butterfly" once RPC-682-1 inserts its mandibles. No known company shares this name. Infected products are hereby called RPC-682-2. RPC-682 will then stop the event after they created ~10 RPC-682-2 instances and/or were found in the process.
RPC-682-1 will then rub its abdomen against the bottle, secreting RPC-682-1 pheromones. This attracts consumers into buying RPC-682-2. If the costumer (hereby called the subject) has entered a body of water and use RPC-682-2, Event 682-Beta will trigger.
Event 682-Beta: If a subject uses RPC-682-2 in a body of water, the fluids of RPC-682-2 will start to self-replicate over the subject, then it will harden and trap the subject inside a cocoon. The cocoon possesses a brown tint, and it imitates the shape of a cockroach cocoon. The subject will then stay in a coma-state inside the recently formed cocoon for approximately 2 months. Event 682-Beta can be stopped if the cocoon is broken prematurely.
After said 2 months, subjects will reach a "mature" state and break out of the cocoon. Subjects will mutate in the shape of several Periplantea species. Subjects affected will hereby be called RPC-682-3. RPC-682-3 are dazed momentarily and will then begin RPC-682-3 behavior. Activities in the behavior include:
- Constantly commenting on themes regarding beauty or prettiness.
- Seeking beauty products and quickly agitate in the lack thereof.
- Feed from said beauty products. How RPC-682-3 absorbs nutrients from them is unknown.
- Secreting RPC-682-1 horomones. Making them a dangerous hallucinatory threat to unprotected subjects.
Interviewer: Dr. Theodore ██████
Interviewed: RPC-682-3 (formerly local resident Kerlake █████)
Foreword: Ms. Kerlake was one of the first RPC-682-3 instances caught by the Authority after RPC-682 nests infected a local supermarket. Information about RPC-682 was, at the time of the date, vague.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Theodore: Hello, Ms. Kerlake █████?
RPC-682-3: Oh! Hello sir! Quite nice to see someone new after these lonely days.
Dr. Theodore: Good to know, Miss Kerlake. I would like to ask a few questions.
RPC-682-3: Hmmm, alri- Oh let me guess, you want to know how I became so beautiful?
Dr. Theodore: Uhh, yes. I want to know how you managed to reach your current state.
RPC-682-3: I, of course, used this beautiful product that has been created for beauty-seekers, like me! "Arnulf's Almond Metamorphosis" it is called.
Dr. Theodore: Very well. Please continue.
RPC-682-3: First, you put the shampoo, which is made from the dust of butterflies, isn't that something magical? After you put it on, it magnificently wraps around you and you start to be inside it, sleeping until you are reborn in beauty.
Dr. Theodore: How was it inside it?
RPC-682-3: I really can't remember, it was like a fever dream. Nothing important really, after all I have the beauty I always needed.
Dr. Theodore: Ok, you had mentioned that this shampoo was made from "Dust of Butterflies". I would like to know more about them.
RPC-682-3: I haven't seen the little pretty butterflies yet, but I remember some things about them when I had that beautiful dream. They had nice and vibrant colors, you could easily see them. They didn't talk, but it felt like they told me something, something along the charming lines of "Share! Beauty!"
Dr. Theodore: I think it's all for now Ms. Kerlake. Thank you for your time.
RPC-682-3: In that case, one more thing before you go sir.
Dr. Theodore: What is it Ms. Kerlake?
RPC-682-3: Can you give me some shampoo? I haven't cleaned myself in weeks, it would be very nice of you!
Dr. Theodore: Sorry miss, but im afraid my higher-ups have forbidden me to give you any kind of beauty products.
[RPC-682-3 suddenly stops moving, and then faces directly to Dr. Theodore.]
RPC-682-3: E-excuse me?… Y-you want to ruin me!?
Dr. Theodore: Ms. Kerlake, I have already told you. I am forbidden fro-
RPC-682-3: No! You think being this beautiful is easy!? Give me the shampoo! Return my beauty for once!
Dr. Theodore: Stop, Ms. Kerlake! This behaviour is not going to get you anything. I am obligated to not give you-
RPC-682-3: My beauty is rotting! You can't do this to me! You won't do this me!
Dr. Theodore: Ms. Kerlake, do not force me to take violent action against you. Now let me finish me sentence and-
[RPC-682-3 jumps into the window and clutches itself onto it, RPC-682-3 is seen biting and scratching the window inefficiently.]
[Dr. Theodore stands back from the window]
Dr. Theodore: Ms. Kerlake! Stop this instant! You're getting nothing with this attitude. [Dr. Theodore backs up away from the window and approaches the guard microphone.]
Dr. Theodore: [Talking to Raulch ████ into the microphone.] Raulch. Please open the interview door and terminate Ms. Kerlake, she's not calming down. And I don't want that thing thrashing around the chamber.
[Security guard Raulch ████ does not respond. Investigation showed RPC-682-3's pheromones had leaked through a leak in ventilation system and into the guard area, making Raulch hallucinate]
Dr. Theodore: Hey! You hear me or… oh fucking s-shit. [Dr. Theodore grabs the emergency lever, which produces an electric shock inside the interview chamber.]
[RPC-682-3 falls as it's struck by the shock, small sounds of electric buzzing can be heard.]
Raulch ████: [Suddenly reacting to the emergency shock.] What the crap, doc!?
Dr. Theodore: What the crap indeed! Why didn't you respond to any of this!?
Raulch ████: She was just a very nice-looking lady!
Dr. Theodore: What got to your brain Raulch?! I'm calling Security right now, you are not acting normal.
Raulch ████: You sick fuck, you are not acting normal! I'm getting down there!
[Raulch ████ is seen running into the corridor that connects the research room with the guard room. Dr. Theodore locks the door before Raulch ████ can open it.]
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Security guard Raulch ████ was quickly restrained and taken for interrogation. Dr. Theodore ██████ was checked by local security guards and doctors soon after he escaped RPC-682-3's research room. He was later diagnosed with acute katsaridaphobia and has taken psychological treatment until recovery.
Interviewer: Dr. Javier ████
Interviewed: CSD-5639
Foreword: CSD-5639 was a test subject to the effects of RPC-682-2. The cocoon which housed CSD-5639 was broken 3 days after he was affected by RPC-682-2, leaving CSD-5639 in a state where he is neither human nor a RPC-682-3 instance.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Javier ████: Good day CSD-5639.
CSD-5639: Fuck you. Thanks to your little experiment, they won't go away now.
Dr. Javier ████: What are you referring to by "they"?
CSD-5639: Those roaches, it's like if they were invading my god-fucking mind, they're still talking to me. They are saying something, but I don't understand what they're talking about, or how I know they're talking at all.
Dr. Javier ████: Okay CSD-5639. Let's move on to your dream experiences.
CSD-5639: Oh, so you don't even give a fuck about the shit I went through? Have some humanity for fuck's sake.
Dr. Javier ████: Calm yourself CSD-5639. If you don't, I will have no choice but to call security.
CSD-5639: Well fine then. What were we talking about anyways?
Dr. Javier ████: I would like to know your experiences inside the cocoon.
CSD-5639: Ugh, you don't even want to know. I had this dream were I was in some '50s looking house, it was all white and black and shit. Hell, it even had that annoying infomercial music. I could barely hear it in the background.
Dr. Javier ████: Very well. Please continue.
CSD-5639: And you know, there was that stereotypical happy family, I was the father. My… uh… "wife" said hi to me, then gave me breakfast.
Dr. Javier ████: Did anything else happen after that?
CSD-5639: I'm not even halfway through this damned experience. Then it started, there were like, sudden pictures of cramped spaces, full of cockroaches, they had like these… neon lines in their body? I ignored them, I sat down next to my dumbass son and he had this weird mouth, looked like they had mandibles inside them. Then I notice some few cockroaches running around, it gets weirder than that.
[CSD-5639 stops for 7 seconds, and stares blankly to the floor.]
CSD-5639: The numbers start to grow, they were leaking everywhere, I couldn't even fucking see the ground. I don't know why I stayed calm like my family, I guess it was something there that calmed me, something beautiful.
Dr. Javier ████: Was it similar to RPC-682-2? The shampoo you used, I mean.
CSD-5639: Actually, it did. And you know. It was peaceful, it was better than before. Maybe it was that beautiful smell.
Dr. Javier ████: What happened after that?
CSD-5639: Everything became cockroaches. Suddenly I was sitting in a chair made of roach organs, eating my cereal made from roach organs, my son right next to me started mutating into some huge roach and felt into the wave of cockroaches that were reaching my neck. The smell was getting intense. I went to the cockroach-made bathroom to use my cockroach-made toothbrush like nothing is happening, my family were all extremely big cockroaches by now. But I didn't scream for help. I didn't want to escape. Because that smell, that smell, it's pure, it's…
[CSD-5639 pauses.]
CSD-5639: It was beautiful.
Dr. Javier ████: Uhh. Very well then. I think that's all for now.
CSD-5639: Hey, you know… I'm very sorry for what I said earlier, I don't know why I should be angry about what you did to me. It was a gift, I thank you for that.
Dr. Javier ████: Thanks, CSD-5639. I accept the apology.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: 3 days after this interview, CSD-5639 had started to interact with personnel in a RPC-682-3 manner. Autopsy on CSD-5639 showed a mutated part in his right parietal lobe that was growing notably fast prior to termination.
Addendum 682-A: Research found out that RPC-682 does not feed. Theories say that RPC-682 may feed from the acid RPC-682-3 instances produce. If this is true, the population of RPC-682-3 shall be killed off to prevent RPC-682's growth.
Addendum 682-B: RPC-682 instances have recently been found to have a subspecies as of 2/12/20██. There has been cases of RPC-682-1 infecting various hygienic products. Due to this, Gamma classification is currently being decided.
