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Registered Phenomena Code: 609
Object Class: Omega-Yellow
Hazard Types: Sapient Hazard, Teleportation Hazard, Temporal Hazard, Transmutation Hazard
Containment Protocols: To date, there are no known methods to contain RPC-609, RPC-609-1, or RPC-609-2. Any instances of RPC-609-2 found should be confiscated. Only 3 copies of RPC-609-2 are to be kept by Authority personnel. All other copies should be destroyed. Attempts to contain RPC-609 or RPC-609-1 require approval from Level-4 personnel.
Authority personnel assigned to RPC-609 are to be on the lookout for any pop-up shops, hereby Designated RPC-609-1, in the western hemisphere. Should RPC-609-1 be located, a surveillance team is to be deployed immediately. Two agents are to have RPC-609-2 on their persons at all times. Another agent is to be in RPC-609-1 during its normal business hours, monitoring customers who come in and out of the store as well as all purchases made.
There is to be no hostile engagement within RPC-609-1.
Upon verification that someone with RPC-609-2 has entered, the task force is to set up a 10 mile perimeter to search and retrieve the individual.
Description: RPC-609 is a 1.93-meter tall humanoid that goes by the name Mr. Fixit. RPC-609 is noted to have brown skin, hands with abnormally long fingers, and has no facial features aside from a mouth.
RPC-609 is also noted to always seen wear a full suit and a dress hat. Style and color of the suit vary. RPC-609 is noted to talk in a Geordie accent.
RPC-609 has shown the ability to cure people as well as create, or fix objects through anomalous means. RPC-609 will then sell these items and services to an individual in exchange for a variety of things ranging from an individual’s ability to see to a collects of tapes or stamps.
Once payment is made the transaction can not be reversed without consulting RPC-609.
RPC-609-1 is a storefront called “The Fix-It Store” ran by RPC-609. Both can disappear and reappear anywhere in the Western Hemisphere of the planet. RPC-609-1 is open between the hours of 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM. The store will sell an array of things, from beverages and snacks to cleaning supplies and cat litter. The store never receives any supplies and yet somehow remains stocked. While working at the store RPC-609 will not appear in its true form but take the appearance of an elderly black man.
RPC-609-2 is a debit card. When someone who is in possession of RPC-609-2 walks into RPC-609-1, they will be transported to a seemly different dimension. In there, the store appears empty with only a door leading to a back room visible. Upon entering the back room, one will be greeted by a joyful RPC-609. Here, individuals can request services from RPC-609, after which, a price will be named and the individual can choose to accept or not.
RPC-609 will respond to any disturbance in RPC-609-1. If the Authority causes any commotion during normal business hours, RPC-609 and RPC-609-1 will teleport away to a new location. Authority personnel attempting to disrupt a sale within RPC-609-1 will be met with nonlethal resistance and restraint. (See event RPC-609-2).
RPC-609 will protect his customers by teleporting them within a 10-mile radius.
Addendums:
| Item/Service |
Cost |
| A coin that when flipped and called incorrectly will cause the person who failed the call to suffer a gunshot wound to the heart. |
Customer’s collection of Frank Sinatra tapes given to them by their father. |
| A closet of cloths that change your weight, height, and overall appearance. (Confiscated by the Authority) |
The customers hair (unable to grow back) |
| An invisible car |
None but the car will be automatic only |
| A never-ending can of chicken noodle soup |
The customers ability to taste and smell |
| A gun with a time module attached to it. The module can be set to any time in the future. Once fired the bullet is sent to that point in time. |
The customer’s short-term memory |
| ████████████████████████████████████████████████ |
████████████████████████████████████████████████ |
| ██████████████████ |
The lives of the 20 people most loyal to the customer. |
| Restoring Agent Falls legs. |
Agent ██████ memory of the Authority |
| ~Item/Services |
~Reason for Denial |
| Bring back the dead |
“I do not partake in that business, sorry." |
| Reveal The location of other anomalies |
Reason: “Why would I do your job for you?” |
| Reveal The location of the ██████ or ██████ |
“I never kiss and tell love.” |
| Fixing ██████ |
“All Warranty and services can be denied after attempting unlicensed experiments on my products!” |
| Meeting with the Board |
“They are so annoying. I gave one of them ██████.” |
On June/18/██████ Agent Kane and Agent Washington entered RPC-609-1 after confirming an individual in possession of RPC-609-2 entered the store. Both agents were in possession of RPC-609-2. Once in the anomalous dimension they confirmed the individual was a known member of the {Redacted}. They attempted to stop a sell agreement for some type of unamenable book. Upon firing their weapons they found their guns didn’t work. RPC-609 then teleported Agent Washington to the peak of a mountain in Chile and turned Agent Kane into a cat. Both agents and copies of RPC-609-2 were retrieved. Agent Kane turn back into a human after a negotiations with RPC-609. However, his eyes remained that of cats.
Interviewer: Dr. Hernandez
Interviewee: RPC-609
Foreword: This interview was conducted to gain more information on RPC-609, its knowledge and its activities.
<Begin log>
Dr. Hernandez: Thank you for meeting with me after business hours.
RPC-609: Works out better for me. Don’t have to miss a client. Would you like some tea?
Dr. Hernandez: No, thanks.
RPC-609: Suit yourself. (Manifest a cup of tea. Noted to smells likes Earl Grey)
Dr. Hernandez: RPC-609…
RPC-609: The names Mr. Fixit doctor.
Dr. Hernandez: My apologies. Mr. Fixit, where do you originate from?
RPC-609: Can’t ya tell by the accent?
Dr. Hernandez: So you originate from England?
(Silence)
Dr. Hernandez: RP…MR. Fixit, why do sell anomalies to the general public and particular groups?
RPC-609: It’s a living. Also there is a certain entertainment to this all.
Dr. Hernandez: Entertainment?
RPC-609: Oh yes. You chase them. They chase you. All to gain access to things neither of you, let alone comprehend. I am really surprised at how the Authority has “maintained” the “norm” around here. Also how you hide your failures.
Dr. Hernandez: What is it we don’t understand? What failure are you speaking of?
RPC-609: I rather watch you figure it out doctor. Is that not your job?
(Brief Silence)
Dr. Hernandez: Why can’t you tell us the location of anomalous objects or occurrences?
RPC-609: Who decided I can’t? Certainly I can! I just…won’t.
Dr. Hernandez: One last question, if that’s alright with you.
RPC-609: Certainly!
Dr. Hernandez: Where is ████████████.
(RPC-609 leans in smiling)
RPC-609: That’s the first real question you asked love.
RPC-609-2 was discovered on a member of the ████████████. Upon inspecting the card it was shown to have no digital strip or chip on it. The card was stated to only be accepted at Mr. Fixit's stores and displayed a logo. A search was put on for all related stores. During this search RPC-609-1 was located in Tucson, Arizona. A small task force was deployed immediately. However upon arrival no store was seen on site. RPC-609-1 was found to be relocated to a small town in Florida. Upon arrival to the new location Agent Welsh had an instance of RPC-609-2 on his person for verification. He was instantly teleported to the other dimension where he was met by RPC-609.
