RPC-597-J

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Registered Phenomena Code: RPC-597-J

Object Class: Beta-Yellow


Hazard Types:Additional Properties: h-sapient.png Sapient h-sentient.png Sentient h-destabilization.png Destabilization h-auditory.png Auditory

Destabilization Hazard, Auditory Hazard, Sentient Hazard, Sapient Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-597-J is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment cell, and fed a nutrient rich meal twice a day in light of its desired fitness regimen. The site on which RPC-597-J is held in must not contain any set of instructions or limitations issued by any medium, be it audially, visually, or otherwise.

RPC-597-J is to be granted access to Site-597's gym while under supervision from 2 ASF personnel, each armed with a stun baton of sufficient magnitude to incapacitate RPC-597-J in the event it attempts to bend reality. Neither guard are to communicate with RPC-597-J.

When being escorted around the facility to the designated gym area, ASF personnel are to use the route least populated with personnel where it can possibly overhear speech. No on-site personnel are to place a limitation upon RPC-597-J, and as such Site-597 has a specialized blacklist of words and phrases personnel are not allowed to utter while within 25 meters of RPC-597-J. This list includes, but is not limited to, phrases containing the words "Don't", "Refrain from", and "Fuck off with"

RPC-597-J is not to be granted internet access.


Description: RPC-597-J is an approximately 173 cm human male of Jamaican descent, with a physically muscular build. RPC-597-J exhibits the anomalous capability to manipulate immediate reality according to instructions/limitations issued to it, be it issued verbally or otherwise.

RPC-597-J displays an exaggerated personality, reacting dramatically to events/people it is exposed to. This personality is akin to a performance actor, consistent with professions in the fields of theatre, acting, and internet content-creation. RPC-597-J's body language is congruent in exaggeration, having an extreme tendency to "blow up" the scale and amplitude of its facial reactions and body movements. Despite this, RPC-597-J is adamant about being a normal-acting person, and has claimed on many occasions that remarks arguing the opposite flatter it.

RPC-597-J often uses its anomalous ability to its advantage, and often utilizes it as a method to obtain its desires. Specifically, RPC-597-J is capable of exploiting the rules and parameters placed upon it from an acting authority by manipulating reality to satisfy logical loopholes that allow it to nullify the limitations placed upon it. Whether RPC-597-J is entirely capable of bending reality and is deliberately placing this on itself as a challenge, or it is uncapable of doing so until it finds logical loopholes in rules it faces is currently unknown. When asked to disambiguate this conundrum, RPC-597-J replies with "Nigga finessing is in MY BLOOD," verbatim.

As a result of its anomalous properties coupled with its unpredictable and manipulative personality, on-site personnel are forbidden from speaking to RPC-597-J to minimize its agency to breach containment.


Media ID#: M-010J597-5V

Foreword: The following footage records a conversation between RPC-597-J and Researcher D. Lockt. The two are in the east staff lounge at Site-088. The time is 14:23:05 at the beginning of recording.

<Begin Video>

0:00 - [RPC-597-J is standing next to the fridge in the staff lounge. This is the third time RPC-597-J is granted access to one of the staff fridges after claiming that an item was mistakenly omitted from its meal plan. RPC-597-J appears to be familiar with the contents of the fridge, presumably having looked into it before the recording started. Researcher Lockt is seen supervising RPC-597-J.]

0:00 - RPC-597-J: Hey dawg can I get some ice cream?

0:02 - Researcher Lockt: Only a spoonful.

00:00:02 - [2 seconds into the recording, RPC-597-J produces a comically large spoon from an indeterminate location on its person. The magnitude of the spoon's size is jarringly exorbitant such that it could not have come from its pockets. How RPC-597-J is capable of producing a comically large spoon in this way is, at this time, unknown.]

0:10 - [RPC-597-J proceeds to use the immense utensil to acquire the entirety of the ice cream.]

<End Video>

Researcher D. Lockt was reprimanded for giving RPC-597-J leeway to exert its anomalous capabilities on surrounding reality. He has also been banned for a month from eating the ice cream in the staff lounge.



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