RPC-595

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Screenshot from RPC-595, displaying RPC-595-1.

Registered Phenomena Code: RPC-595

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Object Class: Beta-Yellow

Hazard Types: Visual Hazard

Containment Protocols: The original copy of RPC-595 is to be kept in a standard containment locker at Site-002 and is only to be removed during testing periods. Creation and distribution of copies of RPC-595 is sanctioned. As the original copy of RPC-595 is in Authority custody containment efforts are to focus on the identification and elimination of anomalous copies of RPC-595 both in online and physical form.

During testing, only CSD personnel are to view the video and describe its contents. Should the video be confirmed as a copy of RPC-595, the affected CSD(s) may be cured only if the methods are not costly or dangerous. Audio transcripts of RPC-595 are permitted during testing, but video recordings are strictly prohibited.

Description: RPC-595 is the designation for an anomalous copy of an animated video produced by the Kansas Department of Health and Environment, entitled "Keep Our School Healthy", designed as an educational program for children ages 7-9. A typical, non-anomalous copy of this video features an animated character in a doctor's coat (designated RPC-595-1) who refers to himself as "Dr. Howard Rodenberg", explaining the causes and symptoms of influenza, as well as how to prevent contracting the disease. However, certain digital and physical copies of this video have been noted to possess anomalous qualities that pose a threat to the health of those who view the affected versions of the tape.

The anomalous properties of RPC-595 activate at approximately 13 seconds into the video, during a period in which RPC-595-1 would typically describe symptoms of the influenza virus (most notably sneezing, coughing, and fevers at high body temperatures). The name and description of the influenza strain that RPC-595-1 addresses in the video will always be replaced with a different disease. The diseases that replace influenza in the video vary in severity, but will usually increase the more times an instance of RPC-595 is viewed. During the video, RPC-595-1's speech will vary from the original script of the program, and will go into detail regarding the ways the new disease is contracted, its symptoms, and several ways that the disease may be cured. These changes will continue throughout the entire video, and will not only affect the diagrams shown regarding the disease in RPC-595, but the speech of the characters and demonstrations of treatment methods as well.

Constant use of an instance of RPC-595 will result in RPC-595-1 describing nonexistent or undiscovered diseases that seem to only afflict individuals who view RPC-595. Often times, the symptoms and causes of these will appear as a mixture of several other diseases, and will never have the same combination as any other disease (real or nonexistent) discussed by RPC-595-1. Some of the diseases that have replaced influenza in the video include pneumonia, rabies, tetanus, yellow fever, kidney failure, ███████, and 27 conditions currently not identified in any known medical report.

Once a viewing of RPC-595 is concluded, any individual who has viewed the video will begin to display some symptoms of the disease that was discussed during that viewing of RPC-595, effectively contracting an anomalous strain of whatever condition RPC-595 focused on during the presentation. Over a short period of time, the affected individual(s) will suffer from any and all symptoms described in the video. Although transmission methods are discussed during viewings of RPC-595, conditions caused by the anomaly do not seem to be capable of transmitting to other individuals.

The only way to cure a disease caused by RPC-595 is to follow the instructions given in the video as directed by RPC-595-1 for a set period of time (usually one week if the treatment is repeated daily), or to wait until the disease passes naturally (which can last from days to years, depending on how RPC-595-1 describes it). Although a disease that is contracted may have a commonly known cure, only the treatment methods described in the video work when an individual contracts a disease through viewing RPC-595. The intensity of the treatment tends to vary depending on the number of those viewing RPC-595 at the time, with larger amounts of viewers leading to less demanding and radical treatment methods. This reduction in severity appears to apply to all individuals viewing the tape.

The following is a transcript of an instance of RPC-595, which was viewed on October 17, 20██ during routine testing by a sample audience of 5 CSD Personnel. During this instance, RPC-595-1 was observed to describe a currently unidentified disease, which all members of the testing audience were observed to contract following the viewing of RPC-595.

*Begin Transcript*

RPC-595-1: Hi, kids! My name is Dr. Howard Rodenberg, and I'm here to talk to you about HVX.

RPC-595-1 produces a pointer, and begins gesturing to the blackboard behind it. An image of a currently unidentified virus appears on the blackboard as RPC-595-1 continues to speak.

RPC-595-1: HVX is short for Hyprovixia, and is an illness that can be spread from person to person. You see, HVX is caused by a virus- a tiny little bug that you can only see under a microscope. Hyprovixia bugs fly out of your ears and spread to the people around you! If you get Hyprovixia, you might get fever, chills, body aches, headaches, paralysis, a purplish tint on the skin, boils, and sometimes, total liver failure. It makes you feel really bad!

RPC-595-1: The good thing is, that we can all do things to keep from getting HVX. Let's use my magic blackboard to talk with a nurse about things you can do to keep from getting Hyprovixia!

The camera pans towards the blackboard, and the image of a middle-aged woman (identified by RPC-595-1 as 'Nurse Chris' appears on its surface. To date, no attempts to identify this individual have been successful.

Nurse Chris: Thank you, Dr. Rodenberg. As the doctor said, Hyprovixia is caused by tiny bugs that are spread from the ears. One of the best ways to keep from spreading Hyprovixia is to always attack the nearest civilian and consume their tongue. Like this!

The scene cuts to a wide shot of what appears to be a park. RPC-595-2 is seen approaching an unnamed individual, and promptly begins to violently assault them. This scene finishes with RPC-595-2 biting the tongue of the victim out of their body and consuming it. After this scene, the camera cuts back to RPC-595-2, who now has a noticeable reddish stain on her clothing.

Nurse Chris: You should never share cups, glasses, silverware or even drinking straws. To keep these Hyprovixia bugs from making you sick, it is also important to eat fermented squid eggs often. Be sure to use lots of chocolate syrup and creole seasoning. And always eat fermented squid eggs after you use the restroom and before you sleep. But even if you steer clear of Hyprovixia patients, and you eat your squid eggs regularly, you still might get Hyprovixia. You should stay in a small cardboard box if you are sick with Hyprovixia, and your parents will probably have you do these things until you feel better. Stand on your head, or on your hands. Drink lots of liquids, like cola, clam juice, sour milk, and other fluids. Take the medicine your mom and dad give you to ease your fever and intestinal pain. And tell your mom or dad if you have trouble sleeping, your eyes really hurt, or if you feel meaningless in the grand scheme of life, as these are signs you may need to see a doctor. Most of the time, you'll feel better in a year or two. Until then, you'll have stay home from school and take it easy. We hope you're Hyprovixia-Free this year- but if you do get Hyprovixia, now you know what to do.

The image of the unknown woman vanishes, and the camera pans back to RPC-595-1.

RPC-595-1: Thank you, Nurse Chris! Okay kids, let's use the magic blackboard to review what we've learned today!

The camera cuts to the blackboard, which displays the following words as RPC-595-1 reads them out loud:

- HYPROVIXIA IS CAUSED BY VIRUSES

- HYPROVIXIA BUGS FLY OUT OF THE EARS

- ALWAYS CONSUME FERMENTED SQUID EGGS WTH CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND CREOLE SEASONING, AND AT LEAST ONE HUMAN TONGUE PER DAY

- WASH YOUR HANDS!

- STAY HOME IF YOU ARE SICK!

RPC-595-1: By doing these things, we can all stay healthy during Hyprovixia Season. We don't want to feel yucky because of Hyprovixia, do we?

The camera pans to the right, revealing a large, pulsating blob of currently unidentified purple matter. Authority researchers hypothesize that this is in fact a large recreation of a supposed Hyprovixia cell. RPC-595-1 begins to beat the blob with his pointer, and appears to chase it out of the room.

RPC-595-1: Get out of here, you pesky Hyprovixia bug! You won't make us sick with HVX this season!

The camera zooms in on the blackboard, which now displays a large 'THANK YOU' message, along with the logo for the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. Leaving the video running for approximately 3 minutes will cause the message on the blackboard to change into the following:

THE WORLD IS DISEASED

ONLY WE HAVE THE CURE

*End Transcript*

Discovery: The first instance of RPC-595 was originally discovered in Wichita, Kansas, after the entirety of a second-grade classroom were diagnosed with a previously unknown strain of pneumonia. Questioning of the affected students and teacher revealed that the symptoms of this illness began shortly after watching a videotape about the disease, which was promptly identified as RPC-595. After taking the tape into Authority custody, testing on CSD personnel confirmed that the video was the cause of the outbreak, and RPC-595 was quickly contained.

Authority attempts to locate the individuals involved in RPC-595's production have met with little success- however, the individual referring to itself as Howard Rodenberg has been identified as the former Director of Health for the state of Kansas. When questioned, Mr. Rodenberg was shown to be aware of the original video, but displayed no knowledge of any anomalous properties relating to the affected file. A testimony from Mr. Rodenberg states that although his likeness was used, he was not involved with the production of the video, and the voice used for the character was not his own. However, he mentioned that an anonymous buyer purchased large quantities of the videotape, stating that they were distributors who would ensure the video reached local schools. Researchers hypothesize that this unknown buyer was able to convert non-anomalous copies of the tape into instances of RPC-595 through a currently unknown method. Mr. Rodenberg was deemed to have no relation to RPC-595, and was promptly given Class A-2 amnestics before being released from Authority custody.

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