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Registered Phenomena Code: RPC-501
Object Class: Alpha-Black
| Hazard Types:Additional Properties: |  Destabilization |
 Immeasurable |
Containment Protocols: RPC-501 is to be stored in a 12cm thick metal perfect cube of 50cm with no access to the inside. This is to reside in a secluded locker in Site-044 Section-XZ4, which is only accessible with clearance by the acting Site Director. The inside of the metal cube is to be engraved with lethal memetic agents. The containment chamber is to be completely soundproof, and speakers installed with back up generators are to continuously play lethal auditory memetic agents inside the chamber at all times. Neither RPC-501 nor its containment chamber are to be accessed by any sentient being.
In the event that the Authority Site-███ obtains the knowledge and ability to open RPC-███, efforts will be made to extract its contents and replace it with RPC-501. Antimemetic inscriptions are to be placed on the inside of RPC-███, it is to be re-locked, and the Authority is to engage a complete site-wide expurgation of any and all knowledge related/pointing to the method by which RPC-███ can be unlocked. All personnel having entered Site-███ within a month of the opening of RPC-███ are to be amnesticized accordingly.
Description: On 10/09/2020, a 6cm by 6cm by 4cm metal box with a light switch on one side was discovered in the conference room of Site-044, as a meeting was being conducted within it. Radiological instrumentation is unable to penetrate more than 22mm through the surface, only revealing common technological components associated with light switch circuitry. Engravings made in English lie on the largest face of it:
Hello. This switch will release a Carbon atom with a force value of infinity. Let's see how long it takes for you to call my bluff.
Debate struck out within the conference room of manifestation, of which Site Directors Cave Rigor and Arthur Rodrys were present. Initially, both Directors had taken to the appearance of the anomalous object at face value; since any matter being subjected to acceleration beyond measure is sufficient enough to obliterate all matter in the universe, common ground was initially established that the box should not be manipulated nor the switch be flipped until ASF personnel arrived to properly handle the purported anomaly. However, Rigor and Rodrys disagreed with each other on the credibility of the box's claims.
Media ID#: M-501xA
Foreword: The following is a log of the debate headed by Rigor and Rodrys in the conference room, recorded by an attending researcher.
<Begin Video>
[Recording starts mid-sentence.]
Rodrys: -Never been a site nor an organization for that matter that believes everything anyone tells us. If you've ever been to Anomalous Indexing instead of the fancy office you spend too much time in you'd know that we get more faux-anomalous objects than we do real ones. What stops us from throwing this hunk of metal into the trash with the rest of them?
Rigor: I'm going to excuse you—a Site Director—for starting off this argument about a decision that may have consequences greater than we can all imagine with a childish insult. I want to start this by taking your lackadaisical attitude into account. The fact that you brush off an anomaly making such claims when neither you, nor I, nor anyone in this damned room or the people next to it knows where the hell it came from is emblematic that whoever placed this thing here knows damn well we're going to flip that switch in the vain "name of science."
This is a clear situation where we can't afford to find out if this thing is lying or not.
Rodrys: And what about the rest of the anomalies that make superstitious claims? Do we put those in containment too? Waste our site space on a jack-in-the-box with instructions claiming it will take the soul of whoever winds it up?
What about the fissure in the linoleum floor of an attic with paper lying around claiming that if you step on the crack you'll literally break your mother's back?
[Laughter rising in the conference room is heard.]
We can both agree we'd seen things that have broken our understanding of the world in ways we would have otherwise brushed off. That is only if we didn't look at it with a diligent eye. Maybe the attic's paper isn't lying? At our scope of operation we can't rule it out, of course. Anything can have a stroke of anomalousness. But truly should everything be treated as such?
The solution? We test. That's the prime method of ruling out an actual anomaly from an object that takes its inspiration from chain-mail paragraphs.
Attending Researcher Stephanie Mills: With all due respect Site Director Rodrys, I'd rather not test a light switch that claims it could blast us and everything else into atomic soup from twenty-billion lightyears away. The risk of total annihilation far outweighs the cost to store and contain an anomaly that might not do anything.
Rodrys: Saying "with all due respect" before interrupting a discussion with two Site Directors doesn't exonerate you, Mills. There are serious penalties for you, my own asset, trying to-
Rigor: This is my Site, I decide the penalties. There will be no punishment for the heinous crime of disagreeing with Your Majesty Rodrys.
[One half of the Conference room expresses agreement with Rigor, all moving to his side of the table.]
This is based on merit. I'm sure everyone here errs on the side of logic rather than taking orders from a higher-up hack— And by the way, consider our meeting about this fiscal year adjourned, we evidently have more important matters to discuss.
Attending Junior Researcher Jonty Glass: In which case I'd like to ask Site Director Rodrys about his cost-benefit analysis on this ordeal. How could you possibly not come to the conclusion that the risk, as Ms. Mills put well, is far too large to test if it's bluffing?
Rodrys: Well, we've had plenty of "universe-obliterating phenomena" that turn out to be a prankster wasting our time. Judging by the lack of professionalism and the inability to take orders by the members of this site, it's clear that this box is a well-placed con by one of your Researchers to turn this meeting upside-down. To that individual I say bravo. You've managed to display the incompetence of your Site Director. If I ran this place I wouldn't know whether to promote you or to terminate your contract.
Now, let's throw this bullshit in the trash and move on with our lives— Better yet, I'm going to flip the switch right now and prove to you all what a monumental waste of time this has been.
[Nervous murmur lightly sounds the conference room.]
Attending Researcher Madihah Salinas: Finally. This site is more insane than the phenos it locks up. I'll do the honors if you don't mind, Site Director.
Rodrys: Ah, how enthusiastic. Well then go right ahead, I've always commended you for your initiative, Salinas.
[Salinas reaches for the box.]
[The entire room erupts with panicked yelling. Glass gets up and takes the box before Salinas can get to it. In his rushed attempt to grab the box, he fumbles it onto the ground and it falls onto the floor on its switch-side. Hysterical screaming is heard, a portion of the room ducking down under the table.]
[After 5 seconds, the room's volume dies down.]
Rodrys: See!? The box did nothing, you symphony of gargoyle-headed dumbshits!
[The tension in the conference room resolves, sighs of relief are heard.]
Glass: [Expressively] No, no- Guys hold on, it's still on the off position. The impact didn't flip the switch.
Unidentified Attendee: God DAMNIT!
[Groans are heard around the room and personnel continue murmuring.]
Mills: Before we flip that switch can we at least look at the camera footage and see who planted this thing? If we see a person putting it on the desk through the CCTV then we can easily decide that it's a harmless box.
Unidentified Attendee: Has this bitch never heard of Amazing Co?—
Mills: Hey fuck you, asshole!—
Rodrys: Woah! Is this the decorum you uphold here, Director Rigor?
Rigor: You called my men and women a "symphony of gargoyle-headed dumbshits."
Rodrys: Just- Show us the footage.
Unidentified Attendee: I've got the CCTV, it should be up on the projector now. This is 5 minutes before the meeting began.
[The conference room turns to the projector on the wall. Black and white footage of the empty conference room before the meeting is shown.]
Rigor: We're all looking at the desk, people. Keep your eyes on the desk in the corner of the room.
[The conference room, now concentrated on the projector's screen, falls silent.]
[6 minutes pass amid hushed murmuring.]
[After 6 minutes and 13 seconds pass, a researcher is seen breaking the camera's line of sight with the desk, obstructing it from view as they walk over to sit down. Once line of sight is re-established, the box is seen on the desk.]
Glass: Okay, tell me that's not anomalous! It just poofed into existence right there!
Salinas: Nope, nope. Someone placed it there when that guy walked by. Authority members obviously know about the level of documentation that occurs site-wide, so the prankster waited for the view to be obstructed before planting the box. Boom.
[The conference room is filled with unsure comments.]
Mills: I… don't… know… You'd have to be very speedy to place it there within that window of time.
Salinas: Not at all, Dr. Reven1 was walking fairly slowly. Slow enough for someone to place the box on that desk—
Researcher Howard Reven: And before you crazy fucks get any ideas, I'm not in on this "prank" or whatever-the-hell it is. I just have a pain in my back and it kills me the faster I walk. Let it be known that I am not associated with any side of this whole mess.
[While the attention is directed towards Dr. Reven, Salinas snatches the box from Glass.]
Salinas: The point still stands. With a flip of this switch, this prank will be turned off and we all get to forget about this.
[In a taunting gesture, Salinas raises her hand high and slowly brings it toward the switch.]
[All personnel in the conference room watch Salinas, half with nervous expressions.]
[Salinas' finger edges extremely close to the switch.]
[The conference room door bursts open and armored men make their entry, startling the people inside]
ASF Leader: DO NOT MOVE. AN ANOMALY HAS BEEN REPORTED IN THIS CONFERENCE ROOM AND YOU KNOW THE DRILL. AS OF PROTOCOL ALL COMMAND IN THIS SECTOR IS DIRECTED UNDER ME. SITE DIRECTORS ARE TO EXIT THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY. REMAINING PERSONNEL ARE TO LINE UP IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND SUBMIT TO A SEARCH.
[Pointing towards Salinas]
YOU THERE. YOU ARE TO HAND OVER THE BOX IMMEDIATELY.
[Salinas hands the box to the ASF Leader.]
<End Video>
Closing Note: This meeting displays a complete lack of maturity and professionalism among both Site Directors and their personnel. However. The Board of Regional Directors have made the decision to excuse all personnel for dissolving decorum, as those involved appeared to genuinely believe that their words had control over what seemed to them to be the "most impactful decision in the universe," regardless of the truth of the matter. Consider yourselves lucky.
— Regional Direction Secretary General Brick
Following this debate, ASF personnel delivered the box to the specialized branch of Anomalous Indexing. From there further divisive discussion followed for 1 month and 3 days until it was deduced that one of two scenarios is possible:
Scenario 1: The engraving on the box is lying and it has no destructive effects.
Scenario 2
Infinite Energy Cascade Event
Should Scenario 2 be true and the box's claims are truthful, flipping the switch will subject the matter within the box—initially one atom—to a force impulse beyond measure (∞ Newtons).
This will result in infinite acceleration of the body.
(1)The infinite velocity of the atom (atom N) means that any normal force applied to it from a collision with another body will be negligible, atom N not losing any energy after applying infinite energy to the other body, effectively multiplying the energy-out of the collision system. This will violate the second law of thermodynamics and result in an exponential distribution of the infinite energy among all matter in the universe, obliterating any habitable environment for living beings.
Despite the disagreement by a considerable number of Site-044 personnel, the Authority concluded that the probability of Scenario 2 being true is greater than 0%, and thus the box was classified as RPC-501 and given the following containment protocols:
ARCHIVED: ORIGINAL RPC-501 CONTAINMENT PROTOCOLS
RPC-501 is to be locked in a Level-VI-Risk containment locker and stored in the High-Security containment wing of Site-044. 2 armed guards are to prevent any and all personnel under the clearance of Site Director from entering the containment unit the locker is stored in, of which is sealed via combination lock. Guards are permitted to terminate offenders.
Addendum 501XA: Two weeks following containment, 3 researchers plotted and attempted to get past the guards and turn on RPC-501 with intent to prove that it is harmless. On-duty guard Derrek Helm was an accomplice to the plan, and incapacitated his colleague to allow the researchers to enter the containment unit. Upon getting to the locker, however, the incapacitated guard regained consciousness quickly enough to terminate all 3 researchers and Helm.
Addendum 501XB: One month following Addendum 501XA, another plot was formed to breach containment and flip RPC-501 by 4 researchers. This time, however, it was cut short after one Researcher Rajan Mortan reported the plan to the acting Head Researcher after being invited to participate. Mortan was commended for his loyalty and professionalism while the other 4 researchers suffered contract termination, among other penalties.
Following this second attempt, Site Director Cave Rigor updated the containment protocols to their current state.
Some people have been arguing that the current containment protocols are overkill.
Allow me to address this issue.I am in the unique position of having to contain and defend phenomena from my own personnel. I'm considering updating this document to include memetic influence, but I seriously can't tell if it's just that my men and women are willing to risk more than their entire careers to prove a point. Keep in mind that even if you manage to flip RPC-501 and nothing happens, you will still suffer contract termination for breaching containment protocols.
I understand that this whole ordeal is based on a superstition, but our hands are tied. We have an obligation to contain and defend a box we can't prove is anomalous. Trying to do so has a chance to turn the universe into a white-hot glowing lightbulb in an instant. It's better to just contain this thing and forget about it.
If you have any arguments for flipping RPC-501, then please come to my office and let me know.
So I can fire you.
- Site Director Cave Rigor