tagnone
 #1 Article |
 #1 Joke Article |
 Top Ten Article |
 Active Contributor |
 Contest Winner |
 Contest Runner-Up |
 Challenge Winner |
 Art Contest Winner |
4 |
4 stars |
4 |
{$translationblock} |  |
The following interviews were conducted between RPC-416-1A and Presidium personnel in the hopes of resolving, terminating, or preventing several incidents and events that have occured since its discovery. This list may be expanded as new interviews are conducted or as more events become relevant enough to warrant financial counseling.
Participants:
- OFA Analyst Ofydd Popkin
- RPC-416-1A
Foreword:
Following the escalation of events in the SOUTHCOM region after the manifestation of RPC-379 and its catastrophic risk to both secrecy and financial stability, the Presidium decided to ask RPC-416-1A for advice in the hopes that the commonality of anomalies of similar size within its reality of origin may prove helpful for current containment efforts.
<Begin Recording>
[Both participants shake hands and sit on their respective seats as usual.]
RPC-416-1A: I am honored to be asked for advice in this situation, our economic ventures here in your reality have been nothing but wonders, and helping in every way we can is the least I can do. As I've told your friend last time, two-way streets.
Popkin: Thanks for the sentiment Mr. Znatkost, but I would like to get to the point of our exchange at once. I hope you have already been made aware of the current situation in Argentina from the emails I’ve forwarded to Site-115.
RPC-416-1A: Yes, of course. I had to buy some new books, something I don’t remember doing since the war, to catch up with “Argentina”. I don’t think we had anything like that where I’m from, but I have to say, studying their financial system was quite an experience. And I do see why you are worried.
Popkin: And even more now that one of its major tourist centers has vanished into Hell. Our hope was that given the unique nature of your home reality, with anomalies such as the Sahara, you might have some insight on how to deal with these situations.
RPC-416-1A: Well I have yet to see someone trying to lock the Sahara up, but I get what you mean. If I'm honest, these types of “unnatural places” make my bones shiver. I have read stories of young men getting trapped in those endless sands for decades, just to come out as if nothing had happened. I can only hope the men and women inside the endless red sands may find a way out before they become part of the soil.
Popkin: And do you think you can help us in any way?
RPC-416-1A: Me? No. I have not dealt with such things in my afterlife. But, I know someone here who might be… willing to help.
Popkin: Know someone here? You have not left the vicinity of Whitestone since your meeting with Mr. Romano.
RPC-416-1A: Do you really believe this is the first place I’ve ever visited Mr. Popkin? I have made some friends across the years, and now we both find ourselves within the same reality, isn’t that wonderful? Because money alone can’t do much, friends however, can get you anywhere. But friends and money, and you can travel across reality.
Popkin: May I know who this “friend” is?
RPC-416-1A: No. She is not a very open individual. If I were to provide such data, I would rather do it to someone more closely related to the events taking place. The privacy of my friends is a deeply valued asset for me.
Popkin: I would need to ask SOUTHCOM for a direct line to someone working in RPC-379. But I first need to know, will this work?
RPC-416-1A: Oh I’m pretty sure it will, although further events may not be as objective.
Popkin: I’ll see what I can do. Thanks for the help, as always.
RPC-416-1A: One day we might even become friends ourselves Mr. Popkin, or shall I just call you Ofydd from now on?
Popkin: Mr. Popkin is just fine.
<End Recording>
Additional Information:
[SECTION REDACTED AT THE REQUEST OF SOUTHCOM COMMAND]
Participants:
- OFA Analyst Ofydd Popkin
- RPC-416-1A
Foreword:
This interview was made in light of RPC-416-4’s subpar results in attempting to construct safe and/or durable structures. RPC-416-1A offered to provide advice in the situation and an interview regarding the topic was scheduled and recorded as seen below.
<Begin Recording>
[The conversation takes place inside Whitestone’s main building with RPC-416-1A already within it. Both it and Mr. Popkin shakes hands before sitting down to talk.]
Popkin: I want to first thank you for offering your assistance during these tough times we are going through Mr. Znatkost, all help is appreciated.
RPC-416-1A: Please, I would have done everything to receive such help during the various depression my nation went through under Nicholas. I am merely doing my part of the contract in assisting the Authority, as long as you keep assisting my people, isn’t that right Mr. Popkin? More now than ever as I’ve heard your people have put forward their economic Budget Cuts project, correct?
Popkin: Uh… Yes, of course. Now to the matter at hand, RPC-416-4.
RPC-416-1A: I am not surprised in the slightest in your troubles, that plant appears to be as much of a pest here as back home. I’ve had some men tell me that those damned trees can even grow with only their bones as soil, a very rough situation I’ve even been through, it is not pretty.
Popkin: If this species is of such trouble, why offer it as one of the items available for trade with the Authority?
[RPC-416-1A’s jaw bone starts to rapidly go up and down, causing a rattling noise believed to be the equivalent of laughter.]
RPC-416-1A: Ah, Mr. Popkin. Everything can be useful in the right hands and under the correct lenses. As I assume you have seen from the photo album I’ve provided, people are able to make houses with them, amongst other types of buildings. Most tree-house manufacturing companies, however, tend to use luxury1 hammers to settle down the wood and make it last for more than a mere week. I believed I would need to import them from The Pact but one of my men showed me a document regarding the acquisition of several items by your people, one of those I was able to recognize, the hammer, or “LO-234” as you called it.
Popkin: May I ask how did you obtain this classified information?
RPC-416-1A: No.
[RPC-416-1A and Mr. Popkin stare at each other in silence for a few seconds.]
RPC-416-1A: Back to my point, if my intuition is correct, and it most surely is, I believe you should be capable of using this hammer in a similar manner to The Pact’s construction companies. It should make the trees last a lot longer and stop them from spreading their damned seeds everywhere.
Popkin: We’ll have to see to that, ask the Chapmen if they are okay with their items being used in such a manner.
RPC-416-1A: Oh I think they will. Charity, Mr. Popkin, even if it does not come from the heart, or simply as a gesture of pride, is nevertheless appreciated from where I’m from. If they agreed to pass down their private ownership into the hands of your men, I’m sure they will be ok with this.
Popkin: I will ask them regardless, but thanks for your help. In any case, I recommend you stop digging around in our files unless you seek for further conflict.
[RPC-416-1A’s jaw bone starts to rattle again.]
RPC-416-1A: Of course not my dear friend, be sure to that!
<End Recording>
Additional Information:
Usage of LO-234 has shown to increase the lifespan of RPC-416-4 structures to upwards of 2 months, as well as increasing the durability of the wood by an exponent of 3. Requests for the supply of “luxury hammers” to RPC-416-1A is pending approval.