RPC-354 Extended Collaborative Testing Log

Please log all tests with the following format:
Subject:
Item Retrieved:
Item Lost:
Notes:


Subject: Sr. Researcher Grant

Note: Sr. Researcher Grant came in with the intention of testing continuously, and had on his person 60 standard pens.

Item Retrieved: One set of keys to a 1988 Buick LeSabre
Item Lost: One pen
Notes: I sold this car a long time ago. Damn.

Item Retrieved: One medium size condom, in wrapper
Item Lost: One pen
Notes: I think I lost this back in high school.

Item Retrieved: One paperback copy of Fahrenheit 451
Item Lost: One pen
Notes: I was just looking for this the other day!

Item Retrieved: One pen, confirmed to be from a previous test
Item Lost: One pen
Notes: Huh. Would you look at that.

Sr. Researcher Grant proceeded to test an additional 30 times, each time losing and gaining one standard ballpoint pen.


Subject: L-1 CSD 219834
Subject was instructed to think about a screwdriver he had lost while working as a mechanic for all tests.
Item Retrieved: One passport for CSD 219834, dated 1996
Item Lost: One Authority CSD Cafeteria spoon
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One plastic bag, containing approximately four grams of cocaine
Item Lost: One pen
Notes: Item confiscated immediately.

Item Retrieved: One screwdriver, flathead, but not the one he was thinking of
Item Lost: One stick of gum from a package of twelve sticks, package unopened
Notes: Additional tests showed no ability to guide what object is retrieved.


Subject: Dr. Solanum
Note: Dr. Solanum hypothesized that the phenomenon becomes recursive when "fed" a large number of similar items, and had in his possession several small items from his locker.

Item Retrieved: One pair of generic sunglasses, black
Item Lost: One RPC Authority ID badge
Notes: Dr. Solanum has been given a replacement; however, after this test, "The hole ate it" will no longer be allowed as an excuse for losing your badge. Leave it outside the testing area.

Item Retrieved: One 512mb stick of RAM
Item Lost: One small salt shaker
Notes: Item donated to Site IT department for spares use.

Item Retrieved: A matched set of seven matryoshka nesting dolls, nested
Item Lost: One MasterCard debit card
Notes: "Well, it's a good thing I don't have to explain to the bank how I lost it."

Item Retrieved: One KA-BAR Combat Knife, heavily rusted
Item Lost: At first glance, nothing; however, upon later examination, Dr. Solanum's sidearm was shown to be missing the firing pin.
Notes: "I'm gonna leave while I'm still ahead."


Subject: Researcher Veldi
Item Retrieved: A small plastic box containing various Lego pieces.
Item Lost: One fishing license.
Notes: "Of course this happens right before a fishing trip."

Item Retrieved: One Vizio brand television remote control.
Item Lost: One iPhone
Notes: "[removed for unprofessional tone]"


Subject: Sergeant Hendrix
Item Retrieved: One 1989 train ticket to LA
Item Lost: Left Combat Boot
Notes: "Well I don't think I can refund this ticket for a new boot."

Item Retrieved: Left Combat Boot
Item Lost: Right Combat Boot
Notes: "Odd."

Item Retrieved: Right Combat Boot
Item Lost: Left Combat Boot
Notes: "Now it's just messing with me."


Subject: K████ R█████████, age 7 (name redacted as per Authority guidelines on relocated youth)

Note: Subject had been born and raised in a compound of the recently disrupted Mantas An cult, where personal ownership of objects was not permitted.

Item Retrieved: One deciduous tooth, canine
Item Lost: One US quarter, 2002
Notes: Subject amnesticized and returned to civilian society.


NOTE: THE FOLLOWING TEST WAS UNAUTHORIZED AND IN CLEAR VIOLATION OF RPC AUTHORITY PROTOCOL, BUT HAS BEEN LEFT IN THE LOGS AS A WARNING TO FUTURE RESEARCHERS

Subject: Researcher Liu Ban Xi
Note: It was later discovered that Researcher Ban Xi was carrying a small RED-threat RPC object, in a passive state, to see if RPC-354 could be considered as a containment option for troublesome small objects. This test was done covertly, without prior authorization from a research lead or Protocol Laboratory specialist.
Item Retrieved: One set of iHome capsule speakers, without cord
Item Lost: RPC-███ (redacted due to cognitohazardous nature of the item)
Notes:

Subject: Security Officer Dave Breider
Note: A review of security tapes shows that Officer Breider was unaware of the previous interaction and had not met Researcher Liu Ban Xi during the course of his duties in the last several weeks
Item Retrieved: RPC-████, in active state
Item Lost: Unknown
Notes: Officer Breider was immediately killed by RPC-████ upon removing it from RPC-354. No other fatalities were experienced; RPC-████ was returned to containment without incident. It appears that if used as a "disposal chute," the next item pulled out will be the last one deliberately put in. Due to the transitory nature of the phenomena if not used regularly, this poses an unacceptable risk of containment breach if used in this fashion. No further testing in this area will be allowed.


Subject: Dr. Hughman
Item Retrieved: One 2GB Flash Drive with his name carved onto metal casing.
Item Lost: All body hair.
Notes: Well, beats getting waxed I suppose.


Subject: Dr. Solanum

Item Retrieved: One copy of issue 1 of The X-Men (1963), in fair condition
Item Lost: Casio wrist-watch band, but not main watch body
Notes: This was in mint condition when it was stolen out of the back of my moving truck after I was reassigned the last time!

Item Retrieved: One 10ml syringe, filled with regular saline
Item Lost: Coffee cup, but not contents
Notes: Ow! Dammit. I wonder how many of these I have lost in my life?

Item Retrieved: One iPod nano, blue
Item Lost: One iPod nano, blue, engraved
Notes: How am I going to explain to my girlfriend that I found my old iPod and lost the one she got me for my birthday?


Subject: Dr. Diamond
Note: Dr. Diamond has requested testing on where exactly the lost items disappear to, and if there is a correlation regarding location of disappeared objects.

Item Retrieved: One purple round ball.
Item Lost: One small metallic GPS tracking device, courtesy of the Engineering Component electronics development team.
Notes: Device was recovered from an oil tanker in the middle of the Red Sea.
-I've never worked on an oil tanker, so it doesn't put the taken object where the found object is from.

Item Retrieved: One empty mason jar, labeled "Bilberry Preserves, May, 1989"
Item Lost: One small metallic GPS tracking device
Notes: Device was recovered from the dumpster of a 7-11 Convenience store in Kyoto, Japan
-I've also never been to Japan, and I doubt my preserves made it that far. It was concievable that the ball was taken by somebody and ended up on an oil tanker naturally, but this seems to put to rest any doubt that the items swap places.


Subject: Dr. Martin

Item Retrieved: Keys to Dr. Martin's site dormitory.
Item Lost: Standard Authority ID Badge.

Item Retrieved: Standard Authority ID Badge.
Item Lost: Replacement Authority ID Badge.
Notes: "I did all that paperwork for nothing?” Dr. Martin

Head Researcher Notes: We did warn you about the ID badges, Dr. Martin. I hope you like paperwork, because there's a lot of it in your future.


Subject: Agent Immanuel
Item Retrieved: One Nokia Lumia 635 smartphone
Item Lost: One standard issue Authority Security Force radio
Notes: Oh no. The quartermaster is not going to be happy.

Head Researcher Notes: It's highly advised not to bring any sort of communication devices into this test chamber. It's highly advised not to bring anything you would have to fill out paperwork to explain losing , as well. Luckily, we keep a stack in the observation chamber for just such occasions.


Subject: Autonomous Unmanned Exploratory Unit - Serial# 1162-A-12 (deployed at the request of Dr. Bridgeman)
Item Retrieved: One Non-ISO compliant hex-wrench type shaft bolt. Corresponds with service records of unit used in experiment.
Item Lost: One x86 based microcontroller array from the secondary steering system
Notes: All future losses incurred as a result of the use of robotic or autonomous resources in tests with RPC-354 will be subtracted from individual research budgets or salaries, unless previously approved by a Level 3 or higher researcher. Seriously, Bridgeman, those things cost more to fix than we spend acquiring some CSD personnel.


Subject: Researcher Singh

Note: Researcher Singh came in with a large number of plastic spherical objects, varying in size from 1 mm in diameter to 10 cm in diameter, with the intention of determining how items that are lost are selected by RPC-354. Researcher Singh wore a one-piece jumpsuit instead of the standard Foundation researcher uniform and carried nothing else on his person to minimize the chance of an unintended item being taken by RPC-354 Additionally, any retrieved items were removed from the room before the next round of testing to prevent them from being taken back.

Item Retrieved: One U.S. penny
Item Lost: One sphere, 8 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One empty plastic water bottle
Item Lost: One sphere, 5.5 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One broken half of an unmarked compact disc
Item Lost: One sphere, 10 cm in diameter
Notes:

Item Retrieved: One sphere, 8 cm in diameter
Item Lost: One sphere, 2.5 cm in diameter
Notes: The number of items retrieved before previously taken items start to return is consistent with Sr. Researcher Grant's experiment. -Researcher Singh

Using data from 75 repetitions of the experiment, Researcher Singh determined that spheres selected were normally distributed with regard to size, with a mean diameter of approximately 5 cm and a standard deviation of approximately 2.2 cm.

Note: These spheres had no personal significance, so we've yet to determine if the personal meaning attributed to an object influences the probability that the object is taken. However, it seems clear that meaningless items are truly taken at random. -Researcher Singh


Subject: Agent Clarkson
Item Retrieved: One barrel and action for a CZ452 Rifle
Item Lost: One barrel from Agent Clarkson's Authority MST Variant FN P90 Service Rifle
Notes: Damn. I lost the first rifle while hunting, and it cripples my issued rifle? This thing is a riot. - Agent Clarkson
Head Researcher Notes: No disciplinary action will be recommended, as it is assumed the site quartermaster will be assigning plenty at his own discretion.


Subject: Dr. Horton
Item Retrieved: A plastic Ziploc bag containing roughly 7 grams of aged ground-up marijuana. Item was confiscated immediately.
Item Lost: Dr. Horton's left sock, which he was wearing at the time
Notes: God, why did I think it was cool to do this back in high school…?
Head Researcher Notes: Don't worry, Dr. Horton. If we initiated disciplinary action every time someone accidentally pulled drugs out of a space-time anomaly, we'd run out of advanced physics researchers.


Subject: RPC-686
Item Retrieved: Five non-anomalous 5.56x45mm NATO cartridges used by the FAMAS rifle.
Item Lost: Barrel from Echo-7 issued FAMAS rifle.
Notes: Fuck. - RPC-686 (translated from French)
Addendum: Rifle has been repaired as per standard protocol. This goes without saying, but don't bring important belongings with you for testing.

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