RPC-322

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RPC-322 in the public restroom at Site-002.

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Registered Phenomena Code: 322

Object Class: Alpha-White

Hazard Types: Grouped Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC–322 is kept in the restroom adjacent the canteen of Site-002. After extensive testing, it has been determined RPC–322 is safe for use. Using RPC–322 is encouraged by all staff to help reduce costs. All staff who make use of RPC–322 for any function other than its intended purpose should record if any other anomalous properties are observed.

Description: RPC–322 is a white generic brand premium double-ply roll of toilet tissue of no known manufacture weighing approximately 90 grams with a ten-centimeter diameter and 4.5-centimeter tube through the middle.

RPC–322 does not lose mass, weight, or size when unraveled. The roll shows no measurable changes, even when pulling off more than the known mass of RPC–322. Researchers have pulled off as much as ten kilograms of toilet paper from RPC–322 with no change. RPC–322 was discovered to have some minor healing properties when Researcher ██████ ████████ informed the team lead in a private session that his hemorrhoids had healed after using RPC–322. Researcher █████ ███████ reported he lived with chronic nosebleeds from a weak vein in his nose, but after using a few squares of RPC–322 to stop a bleed, all nose bleeds had stopped.

RPC–322 was tested on several CSD Class personnel and was observed to heal minor, and some moderate problems but had no effect on severe health problems or major health issues. No negative effects were detected from its use. Further research opportunities are being considered, however, all staff are warned not to use RPC–322 in place of conventional treatments for serious problems. All suggestions of using RPC–322 on serious or fatal injuries will be denied.

Discovery: RPC–322 was discovered on ██/██/20██ when agents perusing online auction sites came across a “Never Ending Roll of Toilet Paper” for sale. The post was traced to its source IP in Gary Indiana. Field agents were dispatched to determine if it was a hoax. The owner, a 78-year-old African American man named ████████ █████ proved to the agents it was real by unraveling nearly twice the roll's mass. The agents asked the origin of RPC–322. The owner said he had the roll for nearly ten years, not capable of remembering the date of purchase. He indicated it came from the paper goods aisle of a local grocery store that had since closed up and been demolished. He placed the roll on the dispenser in his bathroom and forgot about it until several days later when he noticed the roll hadn't diminished with use.

When asked if anything had happened since the purchase that stood out, ████████ █████ indicated the only odd thing was a stranger he let use his bathroom. While getting his mail from the post office, ████████ █████ encountered a Caucasian man walking along his street who asked for directions to the nearest public restroom, to relieve himself right away. ████████ █████ offered to let him use his bathroom. After the stranger had used his bathroom, he was grateful enough to offer him a few dollars, but ████████ █████ declined. The stranger shook hands with him and left. Shortly thereafter, ████████ █████ noticed the toilet paper roll never ran out.

When pressed for details about the man, ████████ █████ could only remember the fact he was Caucasian, and in his late twenties to early thirties. He appeared well-groomed and was polite and friendly, but couldn't remember anything else since so much time had passed. ████████ █████ admitted he probably couldn't recognize him again if he saw him.

When asked why he was selling the roll, ████████ █████ indicated that his retirement income wasn’t enough to keep up with the bills, and as much as he didn’t want to part with it, he decided it was easier to get as much money as he could for it, to pay off some of his medical bills. ████████ █████ was compensated, and administered Class-A Amnestics.

Addendum 1: Note from Researcher ██████ ████████

Regarding the stranger: This person may be of no importance but if it's possible for a person to make a roll of toilet paper last indefinitely and heal minor ailments then he might have other talents. He could also be an enormous liability if left unchecked. Though the description is vague we should watch out for any similar individuals associated with further anomalous objects and events.

Regarding use: There has been some discussion about using the healing properties of RPC-322 on various ailments Authority personnel have. Specifically its use in treating serious injuries and health problems. Since acquiring RPC-322, CSD personnel with major health problems such as cancer and various injuries have shown no change in their condition. It is important to point out that the original owner ████████ █████ had been diagnosed with Leukemia one year prior to selling RPC–322 to the Authority. Despite using RPC–322 with its unique healing abilities there was no change in his condition. He has since recovered through conventional medicine. This should be taken into consideration in case anyone thinks RPC–322 can cure their own health issues. Possession and use of RPC–322 had no effect on his illness. It is advised for all issues, major and minor to be treated appropriately by a doctor.

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