RPC-316 - RPC Authority

RPC-316

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BY ORDER OF THE GLOBAL DIRECTORATE HIS UNPARALLELED MAGNIFICENCE

THE FOLLOWING FILE DESCRIBES AN INDIVIDUAL OF INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE TO THE RPC AUTHORITY.

PROPER RESPECTS MUST BE PAID AT ALL TIMES.

316

A redacted portrait of Our Grand Director created by artist Toriyama Sekien, circa late 1700s.

Registered Phenomena Code:

Regally Pledged Certification: 316

Object Class:

Accompanying Titles: Our Great Founder, Doctor above all Doctors, The Global Director of all Global Directors, Sole True Founder of the RPC Authority, The First Researcher Protector and Container

Hazard Types:

Clearance Permissions: All Regional Site Access Permissions, All Declassified Document Access Permissions, All Asset Requisition Permissions, All Personnel Dossier Access Permissions, All Financial Affairs Access Permissions, Global Directorate Direct Communications Priority Clearance, Level 5 Security Clearance

Containment Protocol:

Etiquette and Interaction Protocols: All Authority facilities across Japan (pending clearance for application to a global basis) are to spare no expense in preparing an exclusive VIP suite for exclusive use by Our Grand Director (hereby abbreviated as OGD, praise be upon his peerless leadership) and must be kept readied on a 24-hour basis for the possibility of his unannounced visits. The suite must contain a luxury bedroom, spa and massage parlor and be staffed by a designated team of personnel chosen by OGD to wait and attend to his needs and requirements, including a professional chef skilled in the creation of luxury food dishes equivalent in quality to that of three-star Michelin restaurants. In addition, the suite is to maintain a stock of luxury items: high-grade wine, sake, chocolates and condiments, as well as luxury cooking ingredients: black and white truffles, lobster, caviar, saffron, kobe beef, gold leaf and more.

Should OGD deign to appear at one of our humble facilities, all staff therein are required to temporarily halt all non-critical activities in order to greet, address and bow towards OGD, then to resume work¹. All site personnel are to be respectful and address OGD with the proper accolades and titles, and are to pay attention to whichever accolade he chooses to be addressed with at that moment. Any personnel who is proficient in taking dictation is to follow OGD at all times to record his every word upon any form of suitable writing medium; OGD prefers, where possible, for said writing medium to be in the form of traditional Japanese calligraphy. Should OGD find a certain amenity to be lacking in any way, form or manner, the Site Director is not required to kowtow and prostrate for forgiveness, though it is appreciated.

At the end of OGD's visit, all suggestions made by him must be adhered to and all new requisition forms made by his excellency is to be fast-tracked to the Directorate for immediate approval.

Description:

Dossier: Our Grand Director of all Global Directors is an enigmatic figure whose mere presence galvanizes the loyalty of all personnel within his vicinity, a living testament of the Authority's great vision and scope. While his past is utterly untrackable and doubtlessly highly classified (as befitting one of his station), he has claimed to such lofty goals as [REDACTED] as well as being the leader of several other GoIs, including the UNAAC, Project Blue Book, GEAR, GARD, the Church of Malthus, Amazing! Co., Nucorp Industries, L'Acadamia Della Vera Arte and so on. When asked why he would create so many groups of interest with conflicting or similar goals, OGD remarked that he simply wished to make "the world more entertaining", and that the goal of the Authority was simply to ensure the status quo did not fly out of control. Truly, such remarkable foresight that he possesses that led to our creation!

Our Grand Director claims to be over ███ years old! The authority of OGD is prominent and inescapable; despite his secretive ways, no personnel are incapable of recognizing him as anything less than the true leader and creator of the RPC Authority! Such is the veil of secrecy about him that personnel are unable to comprehend his highly [REDACTED] presence, such that he may escape the notice of his attendants and inspect Authority sites on his own. While he has the clearance to do so, it is not recommended to be done without the safety, attention and supervision of all Authority personnel. This power that OGD wields is representative of the secrecy of the Authority, an act we must all strive to maintain as a homage to OGD's prowess.

Tragically, we humble and unworthy personnel are doomed to forget his visit once he leaves a site, with the evidence of his passing being his cryptic suggestions and recommendations to improve the facility! Also, any assets he may have requisitioned for his personal use in his secret duties as the True Founder of the Authority - advice and requests that all personnel will strive to implement to the best of all of our ability.

Despite this curse, OGD does possess additional unique features that make him stand out immediately as our one and only leader; aside from his unusually short stature (truly, representative of his long, long life!), he also features an elongated parietal that results in an astounding cranial length! Certainly, this explains his depthless capacity for sagacity and wisdom, along with the far reach of his wizened arms!

+ Example of a recorded log featuring our esteemed Grand Director

- Close interview log

Featuring: His one-and-only Researching, Protecting and Containing Eminence, Our Grand Director (hereby abbreviated as OGD)

Humble Scribe: Researcher Yoshizawa Hideyori

Foreword: Log is recorded via calligraphy technique upon standard A4 paper in Site-███'s executive VIP lounge. General conversation has been redacted for brevity. Due to the slow speed of calligraphy recording (which Deputized Scribe Yoshizawa has profusely prostrated and begged forgiveness for), a tape recorder was utilized to facilitate an accurate transcription.

OGD: All this praise, all this adoration and adulation! It makes me think… Are any of you by chance… Sycophants?

[ The crowd titters in nervous anticipation, with several claims of denial. ]

OGD: Oh? What if I play a favourite game of mine called… "Guess the bootlicker"? Fair warning, I'm always right! Confess now, or be found out!

[ The crowd laughs nervously, but nobody steps forth. Cowards! ]

OGD: Very well then, let us begin! Now… <OGD spends the next minute sweeping a finger across all the staff, before settling on Security Chief Oda Saikaku.> You look like a bootlicker!

Oda: No! My lord! You misunderstand my unrestrained enthusiasm to entertain such a vital figurehead to our organization-

OGD: Bootlicker.

Oda: <Recoils, shields his face with his hands. A futile maneuver!> No! I beseech you with all due respect! Say it no longer!

OGD: Bootlicker!

[ Chief Oda dramatically falls to his knees and spreads his arms out, looking towards the ceiling. ]

Oda: Yes! I confess! I seek praise and validation by none other than the True Great Director of the Authority! Is it not a worthy aspiration to reach? <Surrounding personnel nod heads in sympathy and understanding> All along, I believed it fueled the efforts to maintain the diligent running of this facility! Forgive me! From now on, I shall work for the satisfaction of work alone, to the pride of a task excellently done!

[ Oda punches a fist up. The crowd applauds. ]

OGD: See?! I love it! I love this game! But you see, doesn't he have a point? It's always good to seek praise for one's efforts, but to work for work's sake always is what's important. After all, I did not found the RCP-

Researcher Miyazaki: RPC, milord.

OGD: RPC Authorization-

Miyazaki: Authority, milord.

OGD: -Authority! Without instilling within it the capability to be self-sufficient. After all, that would get in the way of… founding the other big groups!

[ The crowd gasps. ]

Secretary Sachiko: Your excellency and Premiership, you would enlighten us as to what other groups you have created alongside us?

OGD: Anticipate no further, as I reveal my past behind… The NU! The Blue Scrolls! That one big group of metal men… What were they called again…? GYRE! The Dojo of True Art! 'Stupendous!' Company! <OGD continues to list various other GoIs that he read of from an hour ago, albeit with incorrect names. Crowd enters frenzied excitement.>

Sachiko: This can't be! <Swoons>

CSD-1237: <Holding a champagne glass>² I am in awe! So this is the true master behind the RPC Authority!

Senior Researcher Watanabe: Amazing!

[ All present personnel applaud vigorously towards the inspiration provided to us all by Our Grand Director! All praise His brilliance! ]

<End Log>

Closing Statement: The value upon this scroll documenting this momentous event is priceless! Generations shall smile upon the wisdom bestowed to us by OGD!

Discovery Log: Our Great Leader behooved himself to grace our midst once more with his highly classified presence, appearing spontaneously out of the blue at Site-███ upon the date of ██/██/201█ and prompting zealous efforts by unprepared staff to clean and make ready the humble site for His Peerless Grace, while apologizing for the conditions unbefitting of a figurehead most vital to our organization.

Highly pleased by the attention lavished unto him, Our Grand Director has made several return trips to Site-███, each time requesting further and further knowledge of the Authority's organizational structure, goals, assets, strengths and more, claiming to require an update to our workings ever since he allegedly went on a temporary retirement for the past █ centuries, claiming to have simply "fallen asleep on my favourite chair". Such a silly jest did not fall upon deaf ears, and has entertained all at the remarkable wit of OGD.

▼ Access Request Document ▼

▲ Hide Document ▲

ASSET REQUISITION LOGS AS REQUESTED BY THE GRAND DIRECTOR OF GLOBAL DIRECTORS AND SOLE TRUE FOUNDER OF THE RPC AUTHORITY

All requests must be treated with the utmost importance, and are to be fulfilled as soon as possible wherever possible! Should any request not be available to immediately satisfy, site administrative personnel are kindly reminded to stop repeatedly striking the floor with their heads in apology. The escalating rate of head injuries requiring treatment runs counterproductive to the everyday functioning of Authority facilities.

Requisitioned Item	Price value in USD	Status	Notes
An assortment of non-specific alcoholic beverages	$483	Cleared via site funding	Alcohol initially taken from site lounge, all emptied by Our Grand Director within the hour. An indomitable stomach and fortitude!
An assortment of non-specific biscuits	$74	Cleared via site funding	These too, along with the above-mentioned alcohol, meet their demise in the gullet of Our Grand Director! None finer place to be digested within, o confectionary!
An assortment of non-specific luxury Chocolates	$218	Cleared via site funding	Our Grand Director showed us a party trick where he would partially melt the chocolate within his mouth, then spit it out at a target of his wit! Much laughs were had by all!
Wagyu beef	$242/kg	Cleared via site funding	A total of 3kg was ordered, with Our Grand Director eating 2kg of it. The 1kg remainder is unworthy to grace our own mouths, and has been embalmed and enshrined for further respects!
Roasted Lobster	$72	Cleared via site funding	Flown in live and fresh from a coastal fish market as a priority delivery, bearing priority transportation costs of up to $500.
Beluga Caviar	$595.65	Cleared via site funding	Ordered as a Marky's gift box.
A limited DVD collection of the Nurarihyon no Mago anime	$80.50	Cleared via site funding	The entire contents of the DVD was watched in the VIP lounge across the day. OGD claims to have once been as dashing as the main character.
A personal limousine	$80,000	Pending approval by the Global Directorate	Additional costs for custom paint job and refurbishing to accommodate OGD's proportions pending.
A private jet	$200,000	Pending approval by the Global Directorate	Additional costs for custom paint job and refurbishing to accommodate OGD's proportions pending.
A personal luxury yacht	$250,000,000	Pending approval by the Global Directorate	Additional costs for custom paint job and refurbishing to accommodate OGD's proportions pending.
A private luxury suite to be installed in Authority facilities across Japan worldwide for personal usage	A minimum allocated budget of $500,000 per site	Pending approval by the Global Directorate	See 'Etiquette and Interaction Protocols' above for the minimum required amenities.
A private luxury railway express encompassing the entire globe, accessing every country up to a trans-Atlantic railway connecting Sierra Leone to Brazil.	$N/A	Pending approval by the Global Directorate	The accountants say it cannot be done! They say the costs are too astronomical! Did they not hear of OGD's selfless and heart-warming explanation of wishing to join in on the trend of "lowering carbon footprint usage"?!
A walking cane made of gold and topped with a diamond the size of a golf ball	An estimated $3000 for the cane, and $500,000 for the diamond.	Cancelled	See below for modified entry.
A walking cane made of gold and topped with the Star of Africa	An estimated $3000 for the cane and $11,084,205.18‬ for the Star of Africa³	Cancelled	See below for modified entry.
A walking cane made of gold and topped with the Great Star of Africa	An estimated $3000 for the cane and $123,276,628.8‬ for the Great Star of Africa⁴	Cancelled	See below for modified entry.
A walking cane made of gold and platinum, topped with both the Star of Africa AND the Great Star of Africa	An estimated $8000 for the cane and $134,360,833.98‬ for both diamonds	Pending approval by the Global Directorate, as well as MI13 Rejected, see notes	MI13 has refused our request to extract the Star of Africa and the Great Star of Africa from the British royal crown jewels, and asked if our email server security has been compromised. This is an unacceptable slight against our honour and that of Our Great Director and must not go unchallenged!