RPC-261

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CODENAME: RETURN TO SENDER

Registered Phenomena Code: 261

Object Class: Beta-Yellow

Hazard Types: Destabilization Hazard, Tychokinetic Hazard, Ontological Hazard

Containment Protocols: Mail services in zip code 54230 are to be fitted covertly with Authority surveillance technology. A minimum of two (2) Authority personnel are to be maintained in each service's staff at all times. Incoming letters, packages, and parcels are to be tagged and cross-referenced to a database of residents' internet and communications activity. Digital purchases that are congruous with residents' known hobbies and/or preferences in commercial products are to be prioritized.

Residents proactively identified by the above means are to be continuously surveilled. Such individuals are to be monitored during the events of any RPC-261 instantiation so as to prevent improper collapse of its probability wave; affected individuals must not obtain their expected deliveries. To this end, identified RPC-261-A instances are to be contained at local courier services until they are returned to sender.

Description: RPC-261 is the designation given to a series of phenomena that result in the ontological entanglement of postage (letters, parcels, packages, etc.) and their intended recipient in zip code 54230 (WI, USA). RPC-261's likelihood of occurring is directly proportional to the anticipatory excitement of the intended recipient; if an individual in the affected locale surpasses a threshold of anticipation regarding an ordered product, letter of correspondence, or postcard, incidence of RPC-261 approaches 100%. RPC-261 is non-specific to any courier service.

RPC-261 onsets when an eligible individual¹ is informed of the expected date of an impending delivery, designated RPC-261-A, most commonly by way of receipt for a digital purchase. On the expected date of the delivery, the individual will instead receive a notification, designated RPC-261-B, which states that the courier attempted delivery of RPC-261-A, despite no such attempt occurring. Authority surveillance has confirmed that instances of RPC-261-B materialize by anomalous means and in a range of predictable sites proximal to the destination, such as within the subject's mailbox or upon their door.

If a subject defers an initial delivery attempt and instead elects to physically retrieve an instance of RPC-261-A at the courier's location, such RPC-261-A instances will mistakenly be placed on delivery vehicles.

Below is a typical example of RPC-261-B:

Notice

We are sorry we missed you.

Date: _______
The item was sent by: _________
Sent to: ________
At this address: __________

About the missed delivery:

It was a
____ Package, small
____ Package, large
____ Letter
____ Large envelope

Available for pick up at [ADDRESS]² after:
Date: _______³

This is the:
_X_ First Attempt⁴
___ Final Attempt

We will⁵
Attempt another delivery on: ________
Hold onto it until:_________

The manifestation of RPC-261-B occurs at some point during delivery of the RPC-261-A instance with which it is associated. Upon manifestation of RPC-261-B, all en route instances of RPC-261-A are unable to be precisely located.

If the recipient of RPC-261-B travels to the physical address of the courier listed without the instance of RPC-261-B on their person, the courier service representative will unfailingly inform the subject that the RPC-261-A instance is present (visually confirmed) but irredeemable, as they must have their "notice of attempted delivery" (RPC-261-B) present with them to claim the RPC-261-A instance.

If the recipient of RPC-261-B travels to the physical address of the courier listed with the instance of RPC-261-B on their person, they will be informed that the package is currently out for active delivery, and therefore is unable to be retrieved. Authority surveillance has been unable to confirm the veracity of these claims, as RPC-261-A instances remain nonexistent when en route. En route packages that are then waited for at the courier's physical address do not re-manifest so long as the subject is present with the associated RPC-261-B.

No secondary delivery attempt has ever been observed for subjects who do not visit the physical address of the listed courier.⁶

Thus, Authority researchers endorse that upon onset of RPC-261, RPC-261-A and RPC-261-B instances aggregate into an anomalous complementarity,⁷ and subsequently "exist" as polar nodes of an ontological probability wave that is centered around the affected individual. In effect, the manifestation of one excludes the possibility of manifestation for the other.

---

Incident Report 261.1: During an observational experiment for data collection on RPC-261, Lead Research Coordinator Dr. Kahr⁸ contaminated the study's parameters by introducing several unauthorized variables. Upon presenting to the local courier's physical address before the tagged delivery was loaded onto a vehicle, Dr. Kahr produced a concealed handgun and demanded that the package be given to him directly. The service representative complied and opened the package such that the contents could be seen, with security footage later confirming the physical presence of the RPC-261-A instance (imported cigarettes exclusively from Indonesia). Dr. Kahr procured the RPC-261-A instance and successfully left the address without any legal ramifications. A disciplinary response from the Authority was enacted internally and Dr. Kahr was released to his home address.

Incident Report 261.2: Dr. Kahr did not report to his assignment the following day and members of his research team traveled to his home along with containment specialists per Administration. A search of the home revealed the following:

• one (1) pack of Indonesian cigarettes (sans three cigarettes), found on the floor
  • crumpled, likely due to compression forces from the hand
    • patterns consistent with an internally-directed force of ~80 kg, or the maximum grip strength for human males
• ashtray with 2 discarded cigarettes (used)
  • a consumed cigarette was still smoking upon inspection
• one unlit cigarette, found on floor
  • the filter of the cigarette had been severed from the rest of the cigarette
    • impressions on both confirmed by Authority Forensics to be consistent with human teeth
    • the resulting topological deformations suggest ~1000kPa of force, or close to the maximum bite strength for humans
• one (1) lighter, warm from recent use
• one (1) SIG Sauer P320, full magazine
• no signs of forced entry
• no signs of egress

A previously undocumented RPC-261-B instance was later found taped to the door front:

Notice

We are sorry we missed you.

Date: ██/██/██
The item was sent by: __▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ █ ▓ ▒ ░__⁹
Sent to: __▙ ▚ ▛ ▜ ▝ ▞ ▟ █ ▓ ▒ ░__¹⁰
At this address: ███ ███████ ████

About the missed delivery:

It was a
____ Package, small
__X_ Package, large
____ Letter
____ Large envelope

Available for pick up at _______ after:
Date: _______

This is the:
___ First Attempt
_X_ Final Attempt

We will
Attempt another delivery on: ________
Hold onto it until:_________

Footnotes

1. Defined using a psuedo-quantifiable metric of target-thoughts per hour, as established by remote-access Authority cognitography.

2. The local address of the preferred/selected courier.

3. The displayed date is always that of the expected delivery.

4. This option is invariably selected.

5. This line remains blank on all observed instances.

6. The longest non-delivery time at the time of writing is 2920 days.

7. Where objects have certain pairs of complementary properties which cannot all be observed or measured simultaneously, such as the position and momentum of a particle.

8. The Authority has no database records of this individual.

9. This string of characters cannot be identified or deciphered.

10. This string of characters cannot be identified or deciphered.

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