RPC-182 Extended Test Logs




When recording data, refer to the format below during the recording of the test.








Date: ██/██/2013

Subject: CSD-1748

Experiment: CSD-1748 is ordered to write the phrase "For whom the bell tolls" in his own blood in RPC-182.

Results: A 388 page study about the song "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica. The study goes into great detail about the origin of the song's title, meaning, relation to other songs within the group's 1984 album Ride the Lightning, creation and development, lyrics, literary symbolism, sales figures across multiple platforms and future projections, and also produced accurate sheet music for electric and bass guitar, drums, and vocals. While some information was corroborated by multiple prior interviews with Metallica, some information was previously unknown until James Hetfield1, Kirk Hammett2, and Lars Ulrich3 were contacted by the Authority to verify the information within.

Notes: "No, we are not using RPC-████ as a Ouija board in order to interview Cliff Burton from beyond the grave. Permission denied." - Senior Researcher ███████


Date: ██/██/2013

Subject: CSD-1748

Experiment: CSD-1748 is ordered to write the phrase "penis enlargement techniques" in his own blood in RPC-182. CSD-1748 expresses hesitation at the subject matter, but does so.

Results: RPC-182 produces a 1082 page study about numerous penile lengthening techniques throughout history, including jelqing, two hundred and sixty-three (263) brands of various alleged penile enlargement pills, patches, and ointments, various surgical techniques including the injection of subcutaneous fat, dermal fillers, silicone gel, or PMMA, as well as division of the suspensory ligament4; various traction and vacuum erection devices, hanging weights, and the consumption and application of various herbs and native plants. Additionally, it explains how to perform them, their possible side-effects, and their efficacy at elongating the penis in great detail. However, almost none of the techniques described in the study have any sort of notable effectiveness.

Notes: Senior Researcher ███████ was later verbally reprimanded for conducting this experiment. Further infractions will result in reassignment, and eventual demotion.
Additional Notes: CSD-1748 has additionally requested blood be drawn from his body beforehand prior to conducting experiments with him, in order to decrease pain and possible risk of infection at the site of puncturing. Request has since been approved.


Date: ██/██/2013

Subject: CSD-1748

Experiment: Prior to the experiment, a pint of CSD-1748's blood was drawn and put into storage for further testing. CSD-1748 was given a modified fountain pen filled with his own blood rather than ink in order to effectively write. CSD-1748 was then ordered to write the phrase "history of gatorade" in RPC-182 while utilizing the new writing implement.

Results: A 12,436-page report detailing the history of The Gatorade Company, Inc., from its founding in 1965 to the present day. The report includes copies of Gatorade's financial records from 1965 until ██/██/2013, a complete timeline of all products released and discontinued, previously unknown details about its acquisition by PepsiCo, and extensive summaries of the work conducted by everyone presently or formerly employed by The Gatorade Company, Inc., among others. Analysis of the text is still undergoing.

Notes: Prior venipuncture testing is a success. Further testing is to be conducted in the same manner.

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