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Projected model of the ash cloud produced by the activation of RPC-037 and subsequent eruption of the Yellowstone Volcano.


Registered Phenomena Code: 037

Object Class: Beta-Black

Hazard Types: Aggression Hazard, Geological Hazard, Grouped Hazard, Mechanical Hazard, Sapient Hazard

Containment Protocols: As the structure of RPC-037 is currently inaccessible to the Authority, and given that its delicate geological positioning makes anomalous means of access risky, containment of RPC-037 is focused on the ongoing deception of RPC-037-1 via regular radio contact. Site-056, formerly a geological monitoring and Beta-level storage facility on the outskirts of Yellowstone National Park, has been expanded and upgraded to facilitate ongoing communications with and monitoring of RPC-037-1 and their activities. Logs of all RPC-037-1 communications are to be copied to off-site servers. In cooperation with the National Park Service and other regional and governmental staff, the Authority maintains a series of radio frequency jammers emplaced around the perimeter of RPC-037 to prevent any RPC-037-1 communication with, or discovery of, the outside world. Under no circumstances is containment documentation for RPC-037, including this document, to be present within the RPC-037 containment jamming radius.

REMINDER: Any personnel in contact with RPC-037 or operating on Site-056, are to maintain Cover Protocol 037 AT ALL TIMES

Make every effort to REMAIN IN CHARACTER. Your acting could prevent a MAJOR NATURAL DISASTER.

Description: RPC-037 is a large-scale seismic weapon built on the Tesla oscillator principle1 currently installed at the level of the Mohorovičić discontinuity2 beneath the boundaries of the Yellowstone Volcano.

RPC-037 consists of at least 58 different oscillator arrays, each capable of delivering a blastwave with a force equivalent to the detonation of at least one ton of TNT. While statistical analysis is difficult due to the extreme depth of most of the RPC-037 array, Research Division projections show that sequential detonation of all the RPC-037 oscillators at an interval of one hour and fourty minutes would cause a reverberation in the Earth's crust of sufficient magnitude to trigger the eruption of the Yellowstone Volcano and accompanying large-scale seismic activity (at least 7.5 on the moment magnitude scale) covering the entire North American tectonic plate.

It is unclear how RPC-037 was placed on the underside of the planetary crust, as it is significantly deeper than any non-anomalous drilling project known to the Authority has ever reached. Radar and anomalous technological analysis of the crust surrounding RPC-037 arrays reveals no evidence of material discontinuity or density variance that would be consistent with digging, drilling, or the teleportation of materials.

RPC-037 is operated and maintained by a species of artificially-produced sapient humanoids designated RPC-037-1. At present, at least 200 instances of RPC-037-1 are known to be active. These semi-biological constructs demonstrate great mechanical aptitude, an innate understanding of the principles of operation of RPC-037 (But not other fields of science), extreme resistance to heat and pressure, no need to eat or sleep, and a fanatical loyalty to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, as represented by 'Comrade Milford Snodgrass'3, the individual they claim is responsible for their creation and the construction of RPC-037 some time in the winter of 1953.

RPC-037-1 instances refer to themselves as 'Mole Men', and prefer to not adopt individual names for themselves, instead numbering themselves in the order from which they awoke from their cryogenic stasis (see Addendum 2 below). Due to the nature of communications with RPC-037-1, their physical nature remains unclear; self-descriptions by RPC-037-1 instances reveal a body plan that is humanoid, but seems to demonstrate a considerable amount of mutability and variability in sensory or limb function. RPC-037-1 refer to RPC-037 itself, and all its accompanying subterranean infrastructure, as the "Seism Device."

RPC-037 is capable of observing and communicating with the Earth's surface using a radio imaging device they refer to as a 'Radiovisor', or RPC-037-2. The exact principles of this device are unknown, as it appear to merely emit long-wave radio beams with a frequency of 148.4 kHz, and RPC-037-1 instances seem to understand how to operate and maintain it, but lack a basic grounding in radio physics. RPC-037-2 allows RPC-037-1 to visually image the surface in great detail, with a resolution sufficient to read text off business cards, and is capable of penetrating up to 1m of solid lead to resolve an image on the other side, though clarity suffers. Fortunately for containment efforts, RPC-037-2 is easily blocked by standard FM capture effect jamming techniques, and RPC-037-1's lack of understanding of radio technology has caused them to fail to notice this jamming to date.

Addendum 1: Precis of RPC-037-1 Psych Profile:
The following is taken from a Research Department paper published in 2016 by Researcher U.D. S██, Research Department Anomalous Psychology Bureau. It represents a brief overview of the most up-to-date psychological information on RPC-037-1.

Many who interact with the Mole Men make the natural mistake of assuming they possess a psychological makeup identical to human beings. They are obviously intelligent, have excellent memories, and their regimented society and dedication to their work, their vocal obsession with Communism notwithstanding, comes across as familiar and relatable to many RPC personnel.

It is vital to remember, however, that RPC-037-1 are not human, and that our entire containment procedure for them revolves around the weaknesses of their psychology. They are intelligent, but have almost no grasp of verbal social cues. Their memory is superb, but they are intensely naive and gullible, and have a remarkable capacity to accept evidently self-contradictory facts and information as true. They have an excellent work ethic, but seem to exhibit little to no curiosity, individual drive to achieve, or a will to accomplish anything than what they see to be the goals of Milford Snodgrass, who they treat as a semi-divine figure. All these characteristics make RPC-037-1 incredibly easy to fool, but just as incredibly single-minded and dangerous if provoked. These are not moles, and they certainly aren't men. They are machines, and they operate on an ideological framework wholly removed from our own. Forget that at your peril.

Addendum 2: Transcript of Site-056 Communications Center audio, 01/01/2004:
The following was recorded 20 minutes after the first RPC-037-1 radio communication, in which RPC-037-1-1 had threatened to "Reduce the society of the imperialist American lapdogs with volcanic fire unless [it was] allowed communication with the current leader or leaders of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics." The sudden activation of RPC-037's systems had registered on the Site-056 geological monitoring facility's seismographs, causing fear of an anomalously-activated seismic event. Present were Senior Researchers R██████, Security Head Y████, and several other staff of various rank.

RPC-037-1: In background, heard over Communications Center sound system "You have three minutes, exploiters of the working class! If I am not allowed communication with the current General Secretary, I will activate the Seism Device, turning this entire continent into a smouldering volcanic crater! All will fear the might of Comrade Snodgrass, Hero of the Working Class!"

Senior Researcher R██████: Still nothing from Command? We must have something we can deploy in a situation like this!

Head of Security Y██████: Would you listen to me, ████? I don't know! We've never had to deal with anything this deep before, far as I know!

R.: Christ, I've gotta be dreaming. Who the fuck is Comrade Snodgrass?

Sounds of distant shouting

Y.: What the hell?

Something bumps the microphone. General hubbub and confusion.

Y.: What do you think you're doing?

R.: G█████? Get out of here! We're evacuating the Site!

Junior Researcher G█████: I have an idea, sir! Give me the microphone!

RPC-037-1: Two minutes, or the entire continent dies! Do you want to have that on your conscience, corrupt capitalist bankers of the world?!

R.: Get out of here, man!

G.: Trust me, sir! What's the worst that could happen?

Y.: Goddammit, someone stop him!

Sounds of a scuffle. The microphone is bumped several times. There is a squeal of feedback.

G.: Speaking directly into the microphone This is Comrade President Ivan Ivanovich Eisenhower, General Secretary of the American, uh-

Y.: What the fuck-?

G.: General Secretary of the Union of Socialist American Republics! What right do you have to threaten the peace-loving citizens of the global Socialist order?

15 seconds of silence

RPC-037-1: Comrade President Eisenhower, what is the reason for this delay? We came very close to provoking an international incident!

R.: Quietly, in background. Well I'll be goddamned.

G.: The, uh… the fallout from the, the, uh… the Second Great Patriotic War has made such p-primitive communications methods as radio difficult. We had quite a time making contact. Now, what can the Socialist American Republics do for you?

Subsequent communication with RPC-037-1 revealed that only 3 instances of RPC-037-1 were active, having been preserved in some state of cryogenic stasis since the construction of RPC-037 in 1953, and that they had not yet brought the visual observation portion of RPC-037-2 online. Over the next 2 weeks, before RPC-037-1 could bring RPC-037-2 fully online, Junior Researcher G█████'s improvised cover solution was adopted as Protocol 037, current containment protocols were put in place, and the site was converted to better fit the hastily-created fictional Union of Socialist American Republics.

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