Registered Phenomena Code: Fucking Hoover

Object Class: Omega-Black1

Hazard Types: Fuck I know, all of them, maybe more

Containment Protocols: There is no way to contain him, the battle is already lost, he won, he beat us, I recommend everyone goes to see their loved ones for the last time, we can only buy time. Yes, we could try to find a way to stop the unstoppable, but it would be like trying to fix a door by throwing a thermonuclear bomb at it.

Description: How to describe the indescribable, how to speak of the foulest act committed in all of history, how to describe what he did.


Hoover looking at us from outside the cosmos, merely chuckling, as we are not worth his laughter.

What did they teach you in school? That Herbert Clark Hoover was the 31st president of the United States of America? Lies, all of them, invented by us to explain what happened between 1929 and 1933, to explain the year he came and took over. What did you read about this period of time? The great depression I'm sure, also a lie. The photos of people suffering during this time? That was not an economic crisis nor was it famine.

It was Hoover, during his regime, he tortured the innocent, he feeds on the children, and he kept it all a secret from the world with his anomalous powers.

He didn't become president by voting, he simply became one. He took over, and no one was able to resist him. As you might have guessed by now, he was a reality bender, but not a normal one, he was the single more powerful one that has ever existed. To put it into perspective, the gap between the n°1 and n°2 is the same difference that a half-eaten cheeseburger has to a cosmic cluster of infinity itself.

And yes, I'm going over the top explaining, I just… want to delay the inevitable truth, the reason this article was made.

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