RPC-174 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-174.

H F Dummie 20 Dec 2018 14:07

The concept is interesting, but not adequately developed.

The story of "not wanting to harm friends" exists only in one paragraph. I suggest rectifying that by adding an "event log" showing DeShantis' struggle with the laser, or adding a post-action report where DeShantis has to explain his actions.

Also, I recall mentions of "making people want to touch 174". Having objects make people want to do stuff is rather boring and kills the mood in certain sectors. Besides, having 174 be "wanted to touch" doesn't add anything critical or interesting so I suggest deleting that sector.

Also, why do 174 instances want to kill people? I get that it's a monster, but monsters that kill for the sake of killing get boring. For example, 689 maims because it considers such maiming "justice". 532 fires at people because it's bored as hell. I suggest attempting to add some "motive" to 174.

There are also some tonal and grammatical errors.

containment chamber fitted with 4 motion-sensing cameras in each corner These cameras are to be tested for functionality once a day.

containment chamber fitted with 4 motion-sensing cameras in each corner, which are to be tested for functionality once a day.

3 now.

Almarduk 11 Jan 2021 01:23

xiphos

Suggest adding a footnote for this.

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Overall; I feel like the concept doesn't noticeably deviate from the archetype of "weapon/object that makes you want to touch it/wants you to touch it and then fucks up your head", which significantly detracts from the fun one may get from reading incident logs; in this case, they restate the properties we already read on the Description, which doesn't make for a particularly compelling read.

The ending note/containment protocols make for an interesting idea that isn't quite explored. The lamenting tone of the note hits less hard that it tries to because what we read before it isn't particularly impacting or unique — but it doesn't need to be. If the incidents were made more impactful (be it body horror, death, the size and detail of the incident), it would work way better.

As of now; +2. It's not a concept that lends itself to good executions, but it could work given more attention.