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This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-599.
I can't believe you actually went with the forced cannibalism plot. Otherwise, this is alright. The anomaly is one of those simple attractive premises, though admittedly I found its particular gimmick rather dull.
The GEAR document is pretty much pointless, save for the ending. Having it produce a weird sentient being is… ok? Having the anomaly output something weird for drama is a very played-out development, if I'm being honest, and it's never built upon afterwards.
As for the last part… Timothy did it better, really. The anomaly is supposed to act as a twist on the premise, but it could've been taken out and the story would've been functionally identical.
It's a competent article, though. I don't have much to say about the parts that work. Whether I give this a 3/5 or a 4/5 depends on how generous I'm feeling, and I suppose I'll be generous today.
RPC-599 appears externally to be a 1.0m by 1.0m steel storage box with a circular opening on one side.
It exists in two dimensions?
I reread this for the reading club in the Lore Discord, and wow has my opinion of this lowered with time.
It's a half-decent object idea with execution that is much less than half-decent. As is tradition for articles of this caliber, the GOI merely shows up to remind the reader that they exist. I understand the background in this case, but it still doesn't make for good writing.
The clinical writing is serviceable, though pretty boring, and this part has an irritating habit of bringing up details just to dismiss them unconvincingly.
These circuits and components are very complex and are not fully understood by Authority researchers.
So they are partially understood? May I hear about that?
it is also possible for live animals and other animate creatures, potentially anomalous ones, to be outputted.
This is technically followed up on later, but it's a test log that's equally short-lived and useless. For that matter, the trials are all predictable and uninteresting, with only 1 or 2 logs of curt substance. It occurred to me now that the hand might be foreshadowing, which is admittedly a little clever. I can't excuse the last log though, as it's a fresh-off-the-grill nothingburger: an undescribed kangaroo-thing is created, does nothing, and is killed. Was a tiny bit of exciting weirdness too much to ask for?
Overall, the first part takes a premise that had some room to work with, but snuffs out any intrigue instead of building upon it.
The only person to leave any notes was Dr. H Maylord.
Why draw attention to a contrivance? How does this do anything but hinder the article?
This is some of my least favorite dialogue; it's dry as a desert and thoroughly unconvincing. Authors can get away with "improv" dialogue if the article benefits from a straightforward personality like this, but evidently some people really need more direction. I don't even think "human" is an applicable descriptor for Maylord's personality. All he does is explain, and he doesn't have a single thought that won't instantly end up on the page.
I wish I could pick out comically bad lines to laugh at and raise my spirits, but this only leaves me jaded. The ending of the last note made me feel something, but it's genuinely unearned and probably offset by the mildly humorous choice to render "rapid and worried handwriting" with a typewriter font.
I suppose when all narrative hooks have been extinguished, a stereotypical plot like this is what comes to mind. I find it absurd that, in a world of speculative fiction and endless possibilities, someone would really go for an antiquated forced cannibalism plot, which the anomaly only serves to make less gruesome. It also doesn't work as well when nobody survives the incident, as it renders all the "doing bad things to survive" drama for naught. Maybe I would care, however, if there were characters worth caring about.
Unfortunately, I'm sticking this with a 1/5. The basic premise and the grammar are good, but in hindsight I found this thoroughly unenjoyable.
The article lacks any proper meat. I think its because all of its events culminate into the second half of the bunker segment. Which is an intriguing scenario, I'll admit.
All other parts of the article are either functionally irrelevant, dull, or written stereotypically. For example, the testing logs only reitterate the description. The description itself describes a simple function without much space for intrigue. The notes lack character and feel like they come from an objective, soulless narrator instead of from an actual person.
However, it works for what it is.
3/5
Just finished reading it, I agree with Double
I'd add unto that that the plot itself is extremely forced and doesn't try to explain why certain things happen, and with the stuff it does it is done poorly.
The anomaly does not follow its own established rules, with one of the logs describing a "dead" organic matter becoming alive with the bark turning into a living kangaroo mutant.
The worst part of the anomaly is absolutely the journal story. Along with it being extremely dry, it is frustrating how some things just don't make sense or are attempted to be explained with the absolute first thought you would have: The bunker lacking foodstuffs despite having more than enough water (so you wouldn't have to think up how they solved that problem and concentrate on showcasing the box), nobody feeling an entire cavein that blocked the door to the bunker, the researcher rushing for the BLOCKED door and being knocked out so he doesn't escape, 2 WHOLE MONTHS OF NO CONTACT WITH A REMOTE OUTPOST, etc. The only thing that is somewhat done right is the cavein damaging the communication devices so there is no way to send a distress signal, but that is both just the basic thing you would have to do and doesn't explain how they could have gone two entire months without any alarms being raised, literal or metaphorical.
The worst part is the security guy going out (for what exactly) and instead of salvaging for food, attempting to find a way to get out, seeing whether there is any danger and reporting back with the radio - he comes back with a cannibal box. It is almost comedic, since he does not even attempt to bring any rations outside of the bunker, he just brings the box that will allow him to eat the people he has been trapped with for two or three days and where all of them still have some food left. He reveals this after the door gets blocked, so I need you to see this "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" tier bit the way it is described in the article:
A breach happens (the nature of which is never explained or established) and a bunch of people are cut off and forced to go into a bunker. Mind you this facility hosts a bunker despite being described as "low value" so I can only imagine it's a glorified basement with a trap door. Inside, they realize that they apparently have enough water to survive long enough for rescue to come, but they lack food. After two days, one of them goes out of the bunker and never returns and is not found by the next guy to come out, with my sincere belief being that he realized one of the security members started salivating at the news of a lack of food while staring at the fattest of them, and bailed.
The next day, they still have food and the next guy gets out and instead of going for food in the kitchen, weapons in the armory, a walk to check if there is any danger left, transport to get out of here - he goes for the only anomaly which would allow him to eat the other people in the bunker. He not only does that but he returns unharmed and at the questions of whether or not the outside is still dangerous he REFUSES to answer. I assume that Carlson at this point starts realizing what is going on but because everyone else is suffering from what I can only assume is a lack of oxygen he is branded as paranoid.
Then, the door gets stuck. Despite nobody hearing what got it stuck. I am 100% convinced that the closet cannibal security guard locked it behind him, hid the key and said it was being blocked. He reveals the cannibal box and then they start eating each other.
Or rather, they eat THREE of the people inside because there were 8 bodies found. I am convinced that the cannibal was the only one who did it and that they allowed him to eat anyone who died of starvation - with the cannibal finally dying from overfeeding or choking on a carrot piece.
This entire segment is utterly absurd and forced to the point of comedy.
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