Add the rating system
"Patrol personnel have also noted unpleasant stenches coming from every instance of RPC-190"
Seems you accidentally put RPC-190 instead of 191.
This is in desperate need of more editing and refining- it still feels like a draft, not a finished article.
Ok, so the idea is fine. There was numerous spelling errors and awkward wording, so I fixed that. But this segment leaves me confused:
These entities remain for the majority of the day gathered in the building's basketball court
…What? What building are we talking about here? Is it the mall? It can't be a site, because a site definitely wouldn't have a basketball court. I need this question answered. Giving this a +3.
blabbo
I don't know why I didn't read this before, great concept for an RPC. There are a few complaints I have, however. First is that you didn't use the footnote system whenever you have a quick note to give. It's a very quick and clutter-free system that you should try in the future. Secondly, I think that the Interview log was way too short, and didn't really add anything that we didn't already know. In the future use interview logs to give a short story on personnel interactions with the object. Overall, solid article nonetheless. 4/5.
Dreams. Each man longs to pursue his dream. Each man is tortured by this dream, but the dream gives meaning to his life. Even if the dream ruins his life, man cannot allow himself to leave it behind. In this world, is man ever able to possess anything more solid, than a dream?
~Kentaro Miura
There's some weak tone here and there.
Currently there aren't any efficient methods of neutralizing RPC-191
A CONTRACTION? IN MY RPC ARTICLE?
Furthermore, based on their particular form of guardianship over intact mall gadgets and toys, they seem to not want anyone to enter the building but them.
This is an odd assumption to make in clinical writing.
Besides that, the article is… fine? I can't help but feel like it's missing something. I dunno. The idea seems half-baked, like it was a working concept that never got expanded upon. It's executed well enough? 4/5