RPC-081 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-081.

Logangreenjeans 11 Aug 2018 21:46

Ay I'm back

H F Dummie 06 Sep 2018 09:25

Overall, I really enjoyed this one. A machine that calculates how much a person is worth is quite interesting. However I do have some criticisms.

1: Grammar. I won't bother listing them here, but I suggest proofreading 081 a few more times.

2: The description. For a description to be clinical, it should make the item recognisable as soon as possible. For example, the color and size of the machine is more useful in helping me picture something over when it was made. Apply this rule.

3: X that makes people do Y is generally a cliché best avoided. I suggest you remove that part, and instead exaggerate the human desire to know their worth.

Good luck!