Quite the interesting RPC. My favorite thing about this article is that there never seems to be a dull moment. No sentence is wasted, every bit of information conveyed is useful and the reader, because of this, is always learning something new. Some RPCs are too lengthy in places and fail to keep me engaged; I find myself sometimes skimming through those RPCs. But this was not one of them. +1
RPC-737 / Discussion
Forum
» Hidden / Per page discussions
» RPC-737
This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-737.
(account deleted)Agreed. The hazard is very clearly expressed while the article is tightly confined to specific details about it.
Oil that eats the sun if it could. +1 upvote.
Probably not lmao. but the possibility of it maybe being able to grow completely out of control is what the Authority is so afraid of.
Why is this White? It can apparently permanently destroy matter and energy, permanently lowering the total mass and energy of the universe. It could destroy the sun, which would kill all life on Earth.
Right!
Grammar and Tone
The grammar and tone are a bit off. For example:
From the small amount of imagery we have of the object, we can ascertain that under normal lighting conditions the surface of RPC-737 most closely resembles the glossy black look of crude oil.
"We" is not clinical, and neither is "glossy black oil".
RPC-737 was discovered by the Authority deep in the Atlantic ocean, coordinates [DATA EXPUNGED], on December 3rd, ████, after research vessel ███████ reported to the US coastguard that their submersible █████ was lost due to attack from an "unknown source".
It's 03/12/XX or 03/12/XXXX in order to stay consistent. Also, "unknown source" feels off. Like something too obviously a horror cliche. Btw, "deep in the Atlantic ocean" needs to be more concise. The Atlantic Ocean is huge. Maybe give some more geographical details, such as maybe "off the coast of Belgium" or something like that.
Content
It's a black blob that hates light. It feels too cliched. It also kills people who gets in it's way, which is also cliched.
With all due respect, I'm not sure how you could possibly make this article work.
Just because an anomaly is dangerous doesn't make it interesting, no matter how exhausting the Containment Protocols are or how many times the Global Directorate gets name-dropped to remind you that. It's a somewhat novel idea bogged down by a lack of creativity. 1/5
This felt like it had so much potential, since the idea is great. But, in the end, it boils down to not much of anything. It can be summarized with "contain it or bad thing will happen". That is literally all that is presented in the article. It's conveyed through the containment protocols, through the description, through the notes and through the discovery log.
Also, animated isn't the only hazard applicable here, electromagnetic and immeasurable would fit too.
I'm giving it a 2/5 since it's kept short.
/forum/t-6288420/rpc-737#post-