Hi y'all. Thanks for giving my RPC a look.
I'd like to give a special thanks to AllensTest for helping with this entry, he was such a big help during the draft phase of this RPC and he really made it solid.
The inspiration for this RPC came from Night Mind's 'My Dad's Tapes: Family Secrets Aren't Forever' video. I thought how disturbing and interesting it would be to find a serial killer's snuff films, then thought how that could be turned into something paranormal, thus; RPC-098 was born.
I don't think the incident would result in a reclassification from alpha to beta, but instead a change in containment protocols to not allow clearance level 2/3 researchers access to RPC-098, maybe even all staff, including level 4 researchers.
Otherwise a really good RPC, might be able to be polished a bit, but the concept is good and so is the writing. +1
Thanks for the +1 and feedback.
I was trying to give the impression that the Authority was treating this RPC as harmless until something very wrong had happen, thus prompting a sudden reclassification as a safety measure.
+1 But there's one small spelling mistake I spotted.
have be reviewed
Have been reviewed
Otherwise great RPC article.
Nothing much I can say, expect great job, Fake Shemp!
As I said before, it is a short but delightful story, the tension created through explaining the tapes culminates brilliantly with Tape #27 and is expanded upon the Investigation Report. Great wording, great pacing, great hook and an overall great entry!
I must say I deserve no credit at all: Mine was but the final push, everything else was already there! I am definitely proud of your work.
A small thing I spotted:
The police came into possession of RPC-098 after it was anomalously dropped off at █████████ town police station.
Was it anomalously or was it anonymously? Perhaps both…
A well deserved +1! See you on Top Rated New Pages! All the best, man.
I enjoy the concept very much. Though it feels out of place with RPC's documenting style mainly because certain details are left in. For example, you mention real life events like the 2017 Las Vegas shooting and zodiac killer. I think the article would benefit from an air of mystery if you redacted dates/details with ███ such as "20██ Las Vegas" or "The Z█████ Killer" - just my take though. Personal taste. Aside from that, +1.
Was this abandoned by the original author? Good concept but needs some polish.
I would be willing to take it upon myself to make this piece shine with permission from staff or the original author.
Hello, original author here.
I'm curious as to what you mean by 'make it shine', could you give an example?
I'm open to feedback and suggestions.
Might wanna change the placeholder for the tapes 7-26. Right now it looks like you forgot to format it.
This article has the potential to be a pretty good article but in its current state, I am giving it 3/5 stars.
The tonal and grammar mistakes were minor so I will spare that from my critique. I can go through those if you ask.
The article starts off pretty shit but gets better as you read through. A lot of the description was drawn out and not very interesting. It seems weird to me that the Authority would just assume that the pictures were being taken by an “entity”, when it could also be that the pictures manifest after the fact without any actual camera involved.
I think that you should say in the description as part of the anomaly that people viewed in the tapes often go missing or die soon after. This seems like an important part of the anomaly that should not just be implied.
Also, for tape 4, I think the Authority would have more than a hunch that the box contained RPC-098. If they have the anomaly in containment, they must have gotten it from somewhere. Most likely the police turned it into the national government which in tern sent it to the Authority. They would have known the information that the package in tape 4 was RPC-098.
Finally, I really enjoyed the direction you went in for the addendum. I thought tape 26 was a very interesting change in direction for an otherwise pretty bland anomaly. I would go into more detail in the addendum and focus more on this because it is much more interesting. You spent way too much time waffling on about how an entity can’t use the camera.
I think you could shorten the description to not include as much uneccesary information. I would also consider changing the test logs. I think it would be better if you had more of them accessable and they became increasingly more interesting and more horrific. It could also be cool to have tape 25 accessible, and it’s something that would lead into tape 26. Perhaps tape 25 could be nothing more than the words “I AM ALWAYS WATCHING” on the screen for 3 hours.
In conclusion, you got a real good concept here but the execution could use a lot of work. I could see myself rating this 4 or 5 stars if it goes through a lot of changes.
There's a lot of wonky wording here and there. The first paragraph is just phrased strangely in general.
Judging by the oldest reviewed recording's timestamp and the newest recording's timestamp, it can be assumed that the entity is either old, or there are multiple entities making these recordings.
This sentence is hard to follow and calling the entity "old" isn't very clinical (or assuming that there even is an "entity", as Vizlox pointed out). This sentence could be made into something like "The dates in the timestamps of the VHS tapes vary greatly, with the time between the oldest and newest known recordings far surpassing the lifespan of a normal human."
RPC-098 first came into the Authority's attention on 2/13/████ when RPC staff were notified by ███████ state police.
This sentence seems incomplete. Notified of what?
Doctor ████ informed the staff immediately of #27.
This feels incomplete again. Less incomplete than the last one, but still.
Aside from those nitpicks I did enjoy the article. +4
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