RPC-025 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-025.

RPC-025

Lirkan 21 Jun 2018 04:27

Like the image for the object, and the description and test logs were pretty neat, overall a solid article.

McJazzy 22 Jun 2018 11:56

Very good RCP, +1

Just one thing, the censored case should probably just be a [DATA EXPUNGED].

Von Pincier 23 Jun 2018 17:52

turns eyeballs into molten lead

Upvoted for this sentence alone, though there are some tone problems and the last addendum feels rushed and kind of incoherent.

Fleshward 25 Jun 2018 18:03

Updooted for fun concept and good execution. The only problems i saw, Von Pincer has already stated them.

BTW, are you planning to make the Extended Addendum accessible? I'd like to see what people come up with.

Mr Irving 26 Jun 2018 00:40

I'm considering an accessible addendum.

Dew_Evil0964 26 Jun 2018 00:49

the sunglasses have a nice touch

(account deleted) 03 Jul 2018 03:07

The test logs are what really sold this for me. As well as what Von Pincier said. "Turns eyeballs into molten lead" is pretty good motivation to follow instruction.

Skywit 10 Jul 2018 00:44

"before the tribute retrieved"
I think you are missing an "is" there.
I liked it, fun read.

SanguineCaro 01 Oct 2018 21:09

I think that this is overall a very cute read, it's not too long and holds the attention of the reader. However, I am confused why the subjects chosen to wear the glasses are called "tributes", to me this feels like you wanted a way to make the glasses seem more sinister and that calling people who wear them tributes was an easy way to do so. I understand that someone has to wear them each month, but I don't understand why "subject" wouldn't do instead.

Mr Irving 05 Oct 2018 17:06

I think "subject" would make it a little unclear to read. But maybe a more clinical term would work better

5150wned 29 Aug 2021 16:25

2/5 overall

5/5 premise.
1/5 delivery. Tributes is a nonstarter. The defining characteristic of the format is a scientific containment document.
2/5 grammar. Writing structure seems crowded at times.