MS FRIZZEL I WANNA GO HOME
Suggest removal of suppositional language. The following line lacks a certain scientific objectivity:
"The students within the classroom seem to be aware that they are trapped yet feel powerless to do anything."
I'd suggest changing it to something like "The behavior of the students within the classroom indicates some level of awareness that they are trapped, but incidents of students attempting to bring an end to this situation have decreased by a factor of 100 since observation of the site began in XX-XX-20XX."
Research Log-010-4
Drone now sits in the bottom left drawer of Ms. Jackson's desk "to be returned at the end of the semester."
Pretty good start so far. Neutral for the time being.
Referring to RPC-010-2 as 'Ms. Jackson' breaks the flow of the article, I'd stick with the numerical designation. Otherwise, novote for now.
I really like it, but 400 square meters are equivalent to the area of a basketball court. It's a very big classroom. Also adding a picture would definitely help this entry
To me it seems like a kid could open the door, and a D-class could go through the open door and get the kids back. This is a big plothole in my opinion and should be adressed.
+1 over all.
I enjoy this. Though to me it feels like its…. lacking in a scientific, clinical way… though I'm not sure what. Though I do agree with Nigel that there is a huge plothole about what would happen if a child opens the door and, say, a MSF breach and clear the room. +1 definitely, but there could be more.
The plothole has already been adressed though : testing with children has been stopped, so they can't try having a kid open the door and an adult getting in because they don't want to risk the kid getting trapped in there
overall this is a good RPC, altough it really needs an explanations of why it's such a huge classroom, and a proper re read to replace "Ms.Jackson" with the proper designation, and a few other mistakes like "RPC-010-2 is a Caucasian woman in her mid-40s and wears a red dress with black lace tied around her waist."