RPC-996 tale

Summary:

up up and away!

RPC-996 tale

thatowldude 15 Apr 2026 22:06

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/996-tale

My first real attempt at writing something like this, for one of my favorite articles on the site. Wrote this in one sitting while sleep-deprived so it probably sucks mad dick but I'm putting it here anyways cause I had fun writing it

Re: RPC-996 tale

Funhouse 16 Apr 2026 13:51

While the first 4 paragraphs serve as necessary setup, it's not that engaging on its own. The tone of a children's bedtime story makes for good juxtaposition, yet it lacks the colorful language you'd expect in them; Merely simple kids' prose but nothing more.

The tale itself is eerie as you set out to do. It needs some rephrasing and reworking the first half and you're good.

+ Nitpicks

boredom of homework and ballet classes and bedtime

I get it's part of the prose but it flows awkwardly, and boring bedtime is incomplete description. "Bedtime after dinner"?

while her parents set up the red-white check blankets

telling her to asking that she come out

And that was what she did.

she felt like a doll being passed around and getting broken

But it was a celebration! There This was no time for crying to cry.

Re: RPC-996 tale

UnionWatch11 16 Apr 2026 14:33

Like Funhouse said, the first four paragraphs are a necessary evil so hear him. Otherwise, great tale.