This one came to me in a dream. It's a camera that takes a picture of whatever you're thinking at the time, but don't use it too much!
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/hermann-zapruder-s-mystery-camera
What you set out to achieve with this article is done well narratively and by design. Some of the execution is somewhat lacking (the dialogue is a little stilted) but more pressing are a few inconsistencies to address.
I find it hard to believe there is no oversight over Dr. Jackson's experiments nor their frequency. Even as Head Researcher she's still culpable to a misconduct report to the site director for anomalous affliction, and earlier than you've shown. Then again Junior Researcher Yang could be that missing oversight; Unless these tests were done in rapid succession, you should date each test to chronicle her compulsive downfall, or at least some communication made and approved by Dr. Phillip to keep going. Since the anomalies you crosslinked are merely placeholders, I highly recommend you read them and see what the photographs yield; Whether these are mostly Melissa's interpretations (and emotions!) of the objects or follow the anomalies' logic is worth playing with especially with 456. The curator should also have been named and interviewed in regards to his use and experience with the RPC, as well as his experience meeting this private collector in 1976; memories from 12 years past.
Aside from that, you've already laid out a solid foundation and you only have little you need to optimize and tinker. It's simple and interesting in its abilities and the consequences it wrought made for a good demonstration of OCD, as you have set out to do. Just needs another pass.
authorized by the lead researcher
Missed foreshadowing opportunity here. Try:
authorized by Head Researcher Melissa Jackson William Behman
RPC-XXX is a black camera with a built-in flash bulb attachment.
Specify physical aspects of the object and the flash bulb, such as dimensions and materiality.
RPC-XXX's anomalous properties manifest upon use. When RPC-XXX is used to take a photograph, it does not capture an image of the physical environment opposite its lens. it does not capture an image of the physical environment opposite its lens. Rather, RPC-XXX generates an image based on the thoughts of the user at the moment the photograph is taken. Upon observing the image, the user will be compelled to use RPC-XXX again.
I suggest ending this paragraph with the first mention of the Wedgwood event to lead into the next. Try:
RPC-XXX's anomalous effects manifest when a person photographs with the object, whereas instead of an image capturing the physical environment it produces one of the user's thoughts. The user will then be compelled to repeat this process upon observation of the photograph, in which case the subject experiences what's called Wedgwood events.
random intervals.
I suggest you incorporate this into the last sentence explaining the Wedgwood event.
and eventually cease in some cases in some cases eventually cease.
Authority agents responded to reports of an anomalous event which occurred at the ██████ Photography and Film Museum in ██████
I find little reason to actually redact the museums, as this gives the opportunity to make a cool irl connection or making up a name of your own. These little things add that much sought after personality.
suffered from a "curse."
I insist you either come up with something else or remove the reasoning given by locals. It's not terrible but it's a weak descriptor.
disinformation campaign was created set up to dismiss
to a specific single camera
It had no branding and did not resemble any extant camera model.
Redundant to the second sentence in description.
The curator claimed the camera was donated to the museum in 1976 by a private collector who suffered from the same condition.
A bit difficult to believe the curator did not attempt to report this. You can leave it as is but you can articulate a certain demeanor of this collector to allude to the curator reserving this from others.
Subject to use RPC-XXX to take three photos of the statue.
Try:
Subject to activate RPC-XXX three times towards a provided statue.
partially-redacted copy of RPC-123
Crosslink this. I also highly recommend you follow Jokezm's example on RPC-846, whereas an image captioned footnote describes the anomaly in brief.
This test Test shows
Apply this throughout.
three (3) images of RPC-123 breaching containment.
I think if I were Dr. Jackson I'd leave a comment on this (funny) absurdity.
a partially-redacted copy of RPC-456
In case you're using this anomaly not as a placeholder, you can have them read the original documentation as it's not as sensitive . It would be cool to have the flower be different or the very same 118574 was thinking, or better yet follow 456's logic.
In the past few experiments, I had read the articles with CSD-118574.
Elaborate the setting between them; Are they in the same room doing this with an ASF officer on standby? Is 118574 behind their cell as they read this? It provokes that question on its own without answering.
In other news Additionally
My eyes now flash and shutter like a camera every few minutes.
Reiterating the definition of a Wedgwood. Either remove it or Try:
I counted it happening in 4 to 5 minute intervals.
Subject instructed to test the maximum frequency of Wedgwood events by taking as many photos as possible using RPC-XXX, only being stopped at the instructor's discretion.
Hard to believe they casually allow this. You can explain this as either gross bypass of due process or a special request to continue testing with Jackson. Eitherway it needs to be written to foreshadow this experiment.
If I blink rapidly enough, I my eyes can become act as a projector.
01/04/2021
Either you intended to implicate a reason for this 22 years gap or you didn't. In which case substantiate this gap by some managerial reason or change the date to 1998/1999.
several anomalous events occurred at Site-010, including:
Several imperfect copies of anomaly reports containing incorrect and often unrelated information appearing on the desks of unaffiliated researchers.
Try:
[Number] anomaly report copies often containing incorrect and unrelated information manifesting on the desks of researchers unaffiliated with the source documentation.
on the interior walls of Site-010 interior.
You should include Site-010 in the containment protocols as well.
RPC-███
I'd rather you mention the RPC, personally. Although looking up Site-010 it only has RPC-403 documented, which I doubt would illicit this reaction. Given you wish to keep this anomaly close to Massachusetts, you can try and see with Site-044's RPC-705, prompting personnel to run either from the smell or the skewed version of 705 causing it to become indiscriminate towards its targets.
The events caused a great deal of confusion among site staff, resulting in an internal investigation that yielded Dr. Jackson as the cause. It was discovered that Dr. Jackson's Wedgwood projections would occasionally become corporeal after their respective Wedgwood events concluded. In response, Site Director Dr. Phillip Meyer put Dr. Jackson on temporary leave from her duties while still holding her in Authority custody.
I think this incident log shouldn't include the decision on whether she's put on temporary leave or employment termination, as that would rely on her conduct throughout the succeeding interview. Try:
Incident disoriented personnel and disrupted general site operation. Internal investigation revealed Dr. Jackson's Wedgwood projections occasionally became corporeal after the respective Wedgwood event concluded. In response, Site Director Philip Meyer ordered Dr. Jackson be held under Authority custody.
This conversation was recorded following several self-termination requests from Dr. Jackson.
I can't think of a way to keep self-termination clinical, nor a reason not to write it as termination as that can be meant in that same sense. This is fine as the interview confirms who she requests be terminated.
cause issues. wreck havoc! I worry that it might happen again.
scared the Hell [hell/fuck] out of me.
Shortly after the conversation, Dr. Meyer placed Dr. Jackson on suicide watch for the duration of her leave and assigned her a therapist. Dr. Jackson has since submitted no further self-termination requests. RPC-XXX reclassification to Alpha - Yellow pending.
Try:
Shortly after, Dr. Jackson was dismissed from her role and place on extended suicide watch. The assigned psychologist has reported no suicidal behavior after 2 months since admittance.
I also suggest you put the reclassification comment outside the interview log.
Thanks for the crit! I implemented it accordingly.
RPC-XXX is stored in a standard Authority alpha-class containment locker.
Capitalized "Alpha" and remove the "Authority" bit, kinda of obvious/implied
All testing and experimentation on RPC-XXX is to be authorized by Head Researcher Dr. Melissa Jackson William Berwick.
drop either testing or experimentation, in this context they both mean the same thing
The test chamber for RPC-XXX is an 8x8x3 m room containing RPC-XXX's containment locker and a statue to take photos of.
I feel the test chamber and its dimensions should be moved at the start of the conprots, given this is where the anomaly('s locker) is contained at
All testing on RPC-XXX is to be conducted by a subject who will use RPC-XXX to take photos, and an instructor who will oversee the experiment.
A bit redundant to say this given the anomaly is a camera
RPC-XXX's anomalous properties manifest upon use.
remove this part entirely
opposite its lens
opposite to* (?)
Rather, RPC-XXX
would replace with "Rather, it" to not overuse the designation
a Wedgwood event
for stuff like this, I think "event" should also be capitalized
attested that the museum's curator Gerald Wright suffered
attested that the museum's curator, Gerald Wright, suffered*
Several miscellaneous images were hung on the walls of RPC-XXX's containment chamber as distractors to induce intrusive thoughts.
what is this even supposed to mean?
After a few days of involuntarily "flashing" my higher-ups
alright, that one got a chuckle outta me
Within the light is a 3-D projection of what I'm thinking. If I blink rapidly enough, my eyes can act like a projector.
you gotta remember that a human can only blind a maximum of 5 times per second, so idk how well of a 3D projector they'd be
Article had a slow start, but I actually really enjoyed the twist on addendum II and everything after. A nice little piece, good job!
Implemented the crit! Thank you so much!
The article is very punctual & straight, which is very nice.
I really only found one noticeable writing error; that being:
When RPC-XXX is used to take a photograph, it does not capture an image of the physical environment opposite its lens. Rather, it generates an image based on the thoughts of the user at the moment the photograph is taken. Upon observing the image, the user will be compelled to use RPC-XXX again. Repeated usage of RPC-XXX results in the user experiencing a Wedgwood2 Event at random intervals.
"opposite its lens" should be "opposite to its lens"
I liked all of the addendums. They were pretty well made. Also, getting into specifics, I especially liked that you included other RPCs, though I could see them causing hazards with the ability of RPC 461. One specific nitpick that I have, though, relates to the first addendum. I understand that Hermann Zapruder is in the realm of mystery. It's understandable why he's an unknown character. He's related to the anomalous so it's a nice thing keeping him a mystery. And it would make sense for the RPC authority to not find him. What doesn't make sense is for the authority to not go after the anonymous donor, because I feel like they'll be able to find him through whatever means or at least some acknowledgement regarding him. But yeah, that's basically it.
An interesting article, to be sure, but I've a few notes.
Interesting premise, well executed. However, having the addendums in tabs rather than more headings is incredibly annoying and scrolling back up was a complete pain. I would suggest removing the tabs and just do it normally.
Why is it called a wedgewood event? I think that a more apt classification would be RPC-XXX-1 Event, or something to that effect. One could still keep the other name, just as a name amongst the staff, or something.
You called it hermann but there's no mention of him outside the discovery. Some other note, an email, a diary, something more. It feels a bit like Chekhov's gun
Good idea, good premise, good execution. Needs more though.
