Autumn field and silver fog

Summary:

mi13 article

Autumn field and silver fog

Jokezm 21 Nov 2025 14:03

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/book-of-worms

(this one will be linked in the main article and is part of the same storyline)
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/book-of-worms1

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They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.

Last edited on 22 Nov 2025 05:57 by Jokezm Show more

Re: Autumn field and silver fog

42-35-13-000 30 Dec 2025 16:13

looks like we're back in the kitchen cuz this is fire

Re: Autumn field and silver fog

ColonelGW 05 Jan 2026 06:54

Sorry for the delay, this is part 1 of the crit. A lot happened today that divided my focus.

+ Review

What I like:

-I like that you've addressed a common critique of more modern MI13 articles; specifically, the fact that they feel disconnected from the rest of the RPC universe. Involving Nihil reminds us that the RPC universe is huge and that the Authority isn't the only one who has to deal with them.

-

What I dislike:

-The two scientists, Aesopica and Lawrie, seemed rather unprofessional at times. We're supposed to believe that these two figures are knowledgeable in their fields of study, or at least trusted enough to handle such objects, but they employ what you call in your story "video game logic". It makes it hard for me to believe that MI13 can function as an effective unit when even the characters are pointing out the logic makes no sense. It gets especially frustrating when these two characters are still trusted to carry this experiment. While they do get punished, I feel it comes too late in the story for it to be plausible.

Furthermore, I also felt that their swearing, while not unrealistic, could be a bit excessive at times ("That's a fucked up book"). I would cut out one or two of the F-bombs (But please keep the "are you retarded", that was funny).

+ LbL

Any individual or staff member who has been exposed to MO1567 without appropriate protection rites or approved religious benedictions must report without delay to the Head Office of Her Majesty’s Stationery Office (HMSO) for assessment and clearance.

Suggestion: From the sounds of it, the containment protocols imply that those affected by the anomaly should report themselves for safety, but the article later implies that they may not be able to do this themselves. Perhaps you could edit it to say that they are to be reported rather than them having to report?

Attempts to read MO1567 invariably induce severe discomfort; prolonged reading frequently escalates into panic attacks and suicidal behaviour.

Suggestion: I think you could afford to elaborate on precisely when the anomaly's effects take place. Does it make you instantly suicidal, or do these effects take a while to manifest?

Lawrie: Aye, aye. You lot at HMSO are proper joy-killers.
Dr. Aesopica: We have to. Otherwise, the Curse sets in.

Suggestion/Possible correction: Wouldn't "We have to be" make more sense in this context?

Dr. Aesopica: That better be an electric malfunction.

Suggestion/Possible correction: I think "electrical" flows off the tongue better than "electric" here. I don't know if that's more common in the UK, but it stuck out to me.

Now the suns are emanations of the infinite divine. The Demiurge, Thaumiel and engineer, is a self-mutilator.

Question: Shouldn't Engineer be capitalized here, since it's referring to a specific character?

Re: Autumn field and silver fog

DrXOUBLE D 17 Feb 2026 06:44

Critique Time

(Part 1)

Several sigils reminiscent of the Enochian script are inscribed within the manuscript exhibit no identifiable correlation to any recognised system catalogued in the Codicesia, suggesting the presence of an entirely new branch of thaumaturgy.

Change to:

Several sigils reminiscent of the Enochian script are inscribed within the manuscript and exhibit no identifiable correlation to any recognised system catalogued in the Codicesia, suggesting the presence of an entirely new branch of thaumaturgy.

Its spiritual "reservoir" is significantly greater than that of a human, and thus, prolonged exposure to its vicinity would likely induce psychological harm.

Change to:

Its spiritual "reservoir" is significantly greater than that of a human; thus, prolonged exposure to its vicinity would likely induce psychological harm.

MO1567's creation is attributed to the Visconti family, a wealthy and influential house of northern Italy…
Note: Capitalize “northern”

MO1567 has since remained under strict confinement within the headquarter of East London Station.
Note: Pluralize headquarters

(Part 2)

Even objective and empirical data concerning SE1571 shall be subject to rigorous scrutiny.

Change to:

Even objective and empirical data concerning SE1571 are subject to rigorous scrutiny.

Any information about SE1571, whether it be about its origins or its nature, may only be disclosed through metaphors and allegories.

Change to:

Any information about SE1571, whether concerning its origins or its nature, may only be disclosed through metaphor and allegory.

SE1571 is a Bacchanal that emerged from the fusion of the former artefact MO1567 with the corpse of ex-Codicesia member ██████ ██████.

Change to:

SE1571 is a Bacchanal that emerged from the fusion of the former artefact MO1567 with the corpse of former Codicesia member ██████ ██████.

Any information that depicts SE1571 or the contents wings may transform into a spiritual larva designated SE1571-01, with material related to the Nihil rites being especially susceptible.

Change to:

Any information that depicts SE1571 or the contents of its wings may transform into a spiritual larva designated SE1571-01, with material related to the Nihil rites being especially susceptible.

SE1571-01 is a conceptual entity manifests as a worm-like form that consumes human cognition to sustain growth and metabolic activity.

Change to:
SE1571-01 is a conceptual entity that manifests as a worm-like form and consumes human cognition to sustain growth and metabolic activity.

Only Dr. Aesopica and ██████ ██████ is seemingly immune to this effect.

Change to:

Only Dr. Aesopica and ██████ ██████ are seemingly immune to this effect.

Final Thoughts: Honestly I really couldn't find anything really wrong with the draft grammatically or tonally. Maybe the Anime Girl profile Pic in that one mail exchange was a bit weird, but that's just me. Overall, I love the story. I love the interaction between both researchers and I love the ending. I cannot wait to see this on the main site.