Blink and you'll miss it
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/blink-and-you-ll-miss-it
Kinda experimental. I really want to make this as good as possible, so give me your best most productive criticism.
Blink and you'll miss it
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» Blink and you'll miss it
For the record, this draft got one piece of criticism in an archived thread. (You could've had me unlock it, but I get how it is!)
This might be your best one yet if published. Normally, I am against random world altering events for the effect they will have on canon, but this time I can't help but fall in love. Unlike other apocalyptic RPCs, this one actually does have its consequences but also leaves room for the reader to guess what may or may not have happened in the article.
However, I feel the interview with "Lakmal" has the Authority representative act too unprofessionally. I would rewrite that sequence.
Spread of RPC-XXX-1 knowledge is to be suppressed via manipulation of algorithms and search engines, using webcrawler resources and cooperation with mass media conglomerates.
Consider:
Knowledge of RPC-XXX-1's happening is to be suppressed via manipulation of algorithims and search engines.
Keep the rest unchanged.
As deleting all footage recorded during RPC-XXX-1 is both a riskful and difficult strategy, it is not currently being used.
Consider:
Full scale censorship of materials pertaining to RPC-XXX-1 is not possible at the present.
Instead, distribution of clearly manipulated content identifying itself as legitimate footage of RPC-XXX-1 dilutes the pool of authentic recordings, as per the Strawlight technique.
Suggestion: I would elaborate on what the Strawlight Technique is. You tell the reader to move to the collapsible in the document, but as it is relevant to the ConProcs, I would mention it there instead.
For example: blockade of sense organs,1 axon or nerve malfunction, cortex damage, sleep, unconsciousness, and other diverse means affecting sapient non-human anomalies or creatures not yet understood.
Suggestion: I would replace "For example" with "Examples include".
A post in the social media platform Facebook group
Suggestion: I would reword this like so:
A post from Facebook user Marlyn Ranchthe from the group titled "We Who Live in Quanah":
Sorry the english degree didn't work out.
Question: Was English not being capitalized intentional? I ask because this is an in-universe conversation and those are not always grammatically correct.
The incident was in reality a form of enlightenment that should be revered and learned from.
Consider:
Proponents of the Awakening hypothesis posit that RPC-XXX-1 was some form of enlightenment which should be revered and learned from.
various examples being environmentalism, anti-consumerism, Anarcho-Primitivism, Neo-Luddism, and aspects of Buddhist thought.
Question: Why are Anarcho-Primitivism and Neo-Luddism capitalized, but not the other ideologies? Feel free to correct me here, but shouldn't they be capitalized too? Also, given the questions about whether or not we existed in that period of time, I would also mention Solipsism and possibly Neoplatonic or Gnostic thought (You even mention Solipsism later in the article!). The first is more obvious, but the second two might require more explaining:
The Neoplatonists and Gnostics believed that we are brought into form by a Demiurge-type figure: What if some people started believing that the Demiurge figure temporarily stopped thinking about us?
demanda
Typo!
Practitioners would trespassers onto the terrace, and
They would do… what exactly?
/forum/t-17410092/blink-and-you-ll-miss-it#post-