http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/xenophyta
Main concern is the containment procedure, feels a bit unprofessional but the idea is that they're kept sort of like coral are in spawning laboratories
It's about done, but im willing to hear on if there is anything I could expand upon.
This RPC object toes the line between a supernatural phenomenon and something not understood by regular science but still accepted as normal. It hardly even warrants containment. That doesn't have to be a problem, especially since the anomalous hook is fairly compelling, but I can fault the draft for not following that lead any further.
The obvious question is where it came from, or, if answering that would do too much to give away the magic trick, what impact does the introduction of a completely unfamiliar organism have on the world ecosystem? Failing even that, what effect does it have on anything? Why does this interest you? Why does it matter? The classification segment isn't inherently any worse than the rest of the article, but I feel it's a step in the wrong direction, focusing on detail seemingly irrelevant to anything significant going on. I also recall blackboxes for unimportant info: blackboxing locations makes a fair deal of sense, but why arbitrary numbers and certain natural predators? Who cares?
I feel I could only really like this article if I ignore what's written on the page and try to headcanon my own conclusion, one that the article itself hasn't given sufficient clues to entertain. That's a shame, because I heard you mention this was inspired by a dream involving the iPhone and I really want to know how something like that could've been involved. I have to applaud that this wasn't a complete slog to read despite having so little going on (I've read much worse!), but that's only a small accomplishment when I could read a different article with a takeaway that isn't fuzzier than what it had going in.
This feels like a solid foundation for an article before some event, discovery, or further insight gets things moving. I want to see it finished, because you've got some chops.
A live specimen of RPC-723-A1, The first described species of Xenophyta, also known as Xenophyta Pseudoantha
"The" shouldn't be capitalized, nor should "Pseudoantha".
Live specimen are kept at Site-028 within tanks of water kept at a constant 5°C, the size of the tanks varies by species.
"Specimens" should be plural. This is a comma splice; you could turn it into two sentences or change "varies" to "varying".
The chamber where said tanks are housed do not require any further containment procedures.
This sentence would be unnecessary, except it also contradicts the following sentence. Remove it.
The chamber is to remain dark at all times, Personnel are permitted […]
Comma should be a period.
Deceased wet specimen are to be
Wild specimen of RPC-723 found
"Specimens".
made to divert attention. and civilians are not to be allowed within a 500 meters of the fumigation site.
Period should be a comma. There's a stray "a" in "within a 500 meters" (I presume you originally wrote "a 500 meter radius" or something similar).
on earth instead representing it's own phylogenetic family
Wrong form of "its". This is minor, but it would help to put a comma after "earth".
as few as 4 members to as much as 3000 individuals
Use "many", not "much" for the countable noun "individuals". I'd remove the word "members"; it's an awkward inconsistency that I assume you used to prevent repetition, but you could solve that by removing the first noun.
Despite their ubiquity, no fossils or accounts of RPC-723 that can attest to its existence prior to its initial discovery as of 2012 exist.
This sentence structure is bumpy, with alternating subjects ("that can attest to its existence prior to its initial discovery as of 2012 exist"), two variants of the word "exist" referring to different subjects, and "as of 2012" being straight-up misleading.
I'd put something like, "Despite their ubiquity, no fossils or accounts can attest to the existence of RPC-723 prior to its initial discovery in 2012."
exist. as of ████
Missing capitalization.
The ecological impacts of RPC-723's sudden appearance and ubiquity are still unknown.
I'd remove "and ubiquity", since that's a five-dollar word I would avoid using in repeat succession and it's unimportant to the meaning of this sentence. "Impacts" could be made singular.
Marine populations are currently controlled by certain predators such as Annelids, Crustaceans, and gastropods who have learned to feed on the soft tissue and main mass of RPC-723
"Annelids" and "crustaceans" aren't proper nouns. This sentence lacks a closing punctuation mark. The footnote on "annelids" is unnecessary; it's a marginally more obscure term, but I can Google it just fine if I need to.
The main body plan of RPC-723 species consist
"Consist" should be "consists", as the subject ("main body plan") is singular. "Species" can be removed.
tuber-like mass
I would say "tuberous", in part due to the fact that this organ actually matches the function of a tuber.
system, it connects to the roots that absorb minerals from sediment and water and excrete waste product from the base.
Comma splice. I assume this sentence is supposed to focus on the roots, and something like "It connects to the roots, which absorb […]" would be a clearer way to communicate that.
The arms of the xenophyte
In all other cases, you've capitalized "Xenophyte". Having now read the entire draft, I actually think lowercasing it across the board would look nicer and aid readability.
The most notable part of the arms
"Notable" seems entirely subjective. Something like "recognizable" might better convey the intent.
another, In large enough numbers, meadows can pose the risk of an epileptic seizure due to the rapidly changing lights it uses to communicate.
Comma splice. There's a plurality mismatch ("meadows", "it uses"). I'd also change "pose the risk of an epileptic seizure" to "trigger seizures in individuals with photosensitive epilepsy".
Species of RPC-723 generally live to about 7 years old in the wild, and up to 10 in captivity, usually growing up to 35 centimeters with certain species growing up to 4 meters in length given that their habitat allows for it.
Run-on sentence. I'm not a big fan of the unit switch in the second half either.
However, it is not understood how RPC-723 proliferated so rapidly, and how colonies form deep within isolated areas far from other colonies, with the most isolate colony being located in █████ ███ █████, Costa Rica, 30 kilometers away from the nearest colony in █████ ██ ███, Nicaragua.
I'd change the first "and" to "or". "Isolate" should be "isolated". This is also a run-on, and you use the word "colony" four times.
Xenophyta is a diverse family of organisms, 4 classes of Xenophyta are spread globally.
Comma splice.
do not share any commonalities with any other species
Remove the first "any". "Share commonalities" is a pleonasm.
For the purposes of brevity
I'd argue brevity is one "purpose".
(Show Document)
Hide Document
The formatting on this collapsible changes between opened and closed, which is weird.
consists of ███ species that represents
"Represents" should be "represent", as the subject is "███ species".
Brachifibra is split into two main groups; Brachiofibra A and B, Group A is abundant […]
"Brachifibra" is a typo. The semicolon should be a regular colon. At the end is a comma splice. I'd probably also remove the second "Brachiofibra" for redundancy.
as The Yucatan Peninsula
"The" shouldn't be capitalized.
Panpontus
Pantaponus
Panpontia
Which is it?
Panpontus is the most widespread class of Oceanic Xenophytes, they inhabit every body of saltwater deep enough to support them.
"Oceanic" probably shouldn't be capitalized. This is a comma splice, but you could turn the comma into a semicolon to correct it.
They have the largest variance in size of all Xenophytes, with some species being no more than 20 centimeters with the largest recorded Xenophyte, Gigantobrachia Pseudodendra growing to an average of 4 meters with the largest individual noted at █ meters.
Run-on, more unit-switching, and an improperly capitalized scientific name. You used "with" three times.
Pantaponus possess less arms than other Xenophytes, instead coalescing into less than 4 wide, palm leaf-like arms that can absorb more oxygen and catch more plankton in the water, contributing to their massive sizes.
Since "arms" is countable, "less" should be "fewer"; I'd also say "3 or fewer" in the second instance to reduce sentence confusion.
depths deeper
Sounds a little dumb.
the ███████████ sea
Given the context, "Sea" should probably be capitalized.
the presence of stinger cells that convergently evolved with those of Cnidarians.
"Cnidarians" shouldn't be capitalized, and "convergently evolved" is a hell of an assumption unless they've observed this evolutionary change in the past 13 years.
life style
Should be one word.
Aculoderma is the only Xenophyte capable of growing in the presence of light, however they are rarely found where there is visible light from the sun.
"Aculoderma" is a typo, and this is a misuse of "however".
Ferrofolium
Farrofolians
I believe the plural of "ferrofolium" would be "ferrofolia"… though every other type was referred to as a singular class (e.g. "Brachiofibra consists of", "Panpontus is the", "Aculeoderma consists of"), not as a plural vernacular name ("Farrofolians are amongst the").
Farrofolians are amongst the most extreme Xenophytes, only █ species are known to exist and they are endemic to the Philippine sea, and live near hydrothermal vents and feed off hydrothermal plumes.
"Amongst the most extreme" is a weird claim that doesn't seem to clearly indicate anything. The first comma is a comma splice that could be switched to a semicolon. What follows is a bad run-on sentence that took too long to explain how to fix, so I'll just write it out: "[…] exist. They are endemic to the Philippine Sea and live near hydrothermal vents, feeding off their plumes." (Capitalize "Sea" in "Philippine Sea", by the way.)
Live specimens are kept at Site-028 within 250 liter tanks kept at a constant 5°C. The chamber is to remain dark at all times. Routine cleaning and maintenance of tanks occurs every Wednesday at 11:00 AM local time.
Break paragraph after this
During cleaning and maintenance, personnel are allowed to use red lights at a maximum of 50 lumens. Electronics of any kind are not permitted in the chamber. Deceased wet specimens are to be preserved in 70% ethyl alcohol.
Wild specimens of RPC-723 found within 3 kilometers of human settlement are to be swiftly fumigated using pesticides; then collected, and incinerated in a private area.
RPC-723 is a cosmopolitan family of sessile filter-feeding organisms known by the scientific name called Xenophyta.
molecular genetic analysis shows that RPC-723 is not closely related to any other species of family on earth,; instead representing its own phylogenetic family.
Break paragraph after this.
unmaintained aquatic infrastructure, and/or in rare occasions the deep sea
The main body plan structure of RPC-723 consists of a firm
and housing the reproductive and nervous system, It connects to the roots,
The arms appendage of the RPC-723 are soft, leaf-like structures that mainly serve to capture and digest bacteria, and absorb oxygen in the water.
The most recognizable part of the arms—and the species as a whole—is the presence of bioluminescent cells and Its most recognizable feature is the bioluminescent cells on its arms, as well as its
With enough exposure, individuals can instances may go blind and eventually die of unknown causes.
It's not "unknown causes" if the cause is already known: sensitivity to light.
The only exceptions are This sensitivity doesn't include its own light, and blue light emanated from LED screens.
RPC-723 generally live to about 7 years old in the wild, and up to 10 in captivity. Mature individuals can grow up to 30 centimeters, with some subspecies growing up to ███ centimeters in length. They reach sexual maturity at 2 years old and reproduce via spawning much like sea sponges, starting as free-floating larvae and eventually latching onto a surface before growing.
Break paragraph.
Note:
This anomaly is beta-white.
This anomaly isn't a contact-hazard.
Immeasurable hazard denotes reality benders and powerful entities, not " organism that can grow tall"
There is no reason for you to censor the numbers you did.
Thoughts:
This isn't really an anomaly. It's just new species of animalia. Anomalies must be something that contradicts known sciences. If a scientist were to suddenly discover this animal, they'd just publish it to national geographic as a fun new species. No government would contact the Authority and ask them to hide the fact that bioluminescent corals exist to the public.
Add an actual anomalous property to this anomaly.
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
