Active Camouflage
Still a work in progress, but thought I'd post it here anyway: http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/ol-site-381
Possessed, owned, controlled, by the common-sense infected rational gaze.
Active Camouflage
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» Active Camouflage
Summary:
A see-through material that renders objects it covers invisible, plus has other properties to aid in concealment.
Usually, all of the information about an OL site is contained in the article the site is surrounded on, but I don't see why you couldn't expand on the site in a separate article. After all, one of my criticisms of RPC-381 was that the site the dinos are contained in could easily be its own anomaly. At this point, you may need to drop the OL and just have it be Site-381 since its containing multiple registered phenomena. Whether you give an in-universe reason for this upgrade or retcon 381 to have always been contained in Site-381 as opposed to an on-location site is up to you. Don't take my word as gospel either, there's probably an instance of an OL site being used to house multiple RPCs.
I like that you addressed the criticism of the material being weird enough to be its own anomaly. Light bending metamaterials have been done in sci-fi before, but you convey the idea in a matter that is both precise and concise. We need more anomalies about strange elements that aren't on the periodic table. That being said, the language is confusing (to me at least). Maybe I'm missing something, but one section of the article implies that the material doesn't work within 100 meters, but another implies that it does? You'll see which sections I'm talking about in the LbL.
I also think that you should imbue some of the mentions of 381 or even OL-Site-381 with a link to the article.
Access to RPC-XXX for testing or any other purpose must receive prior approval from the site director and project lead in writing and requires clearance level 2-XXX.
Consider:
Access to RPC-XXX for any purpose must receive prior written approval from the site director and project lead and requires a clearance level of 2-XXX or higher.
RPC-XXX refers to a previously unknown form of metamaterial that currently covers the exterior of OL-Site-381.
Consider:
RPC-XXX refers to a previously unknown metamaterial which coats the exterior of OL-Site-381.
Its chief effect is to render everything it covers completely invisible, although, for reasons unknown, subjects within 100m are nevertheless still able to perceive the object.
Consider:
Its chief effect is to render everything it covers completely invisible (to the human eye? instruments?). However, subjects within 100m are still capable of perceiving objects adorned with RPC-XXX.
Moreover, it is also hypothesised that this material has some effect on the local quantum fields that aids in reducing chances of discovery.
I am no quantum physicist so I won't be specific with my crit, but I will say that I think you should do some more research and elaborate on this ability. How does it alter quantum fields?
The material itself remains completely translucent; only the edges of any structure composed of this material are visible, even within the aforementioned 100m distance, and only becomes visible under magnification.
This is the part that confuses me. I thought the earlier section was implying that the anomaly's effects didn't work if you were within a hundred meters of it?
covered along with RPC-381 on ██/██/████ in Loving County, TX, USA.
I would replace "along with" w/ "alongside".
(0.036 inhabitants/sq km)
I would put this in a footnote.
(4.16 sq km).
I'm not sure if this bit of data is necessary, but if you wish to keep it, I would also put it in a footnote.
Basically, any structure covered in it is invisible until you enter the 100m range, but the material itself remains see-through. But thanks for the crit! I will review everything and see what I can do.
EDIT:
I changed this part of the draft, since I realised there was no way to have this as a feature whilst remaining consistent.
Possessed, owned, controlled, by the common-sense infected rational gaze.
Whilst objects covered in the material cease to be invisible within 100m, the material itself remains completely translucent; only the edges of any structure coated in this material are visible, even within the aforementioned 100m distance, and only becomes visible under magnification. i have no clue what you're trying to say here. objects covered in it become visible within 100 meters, but also only the edges of said objects are visible? please be more clear. halp me
The effects are were not immediately apparent due to the properties of the material but were deduced shortly after discovery of OL-Site-381 itself.
exploration revealed OL-Site-381 to be somewhere in the region of (4.16 sq km). why is this in parentheses? also you can get rid of footnote 2, authority doesn't use imperial and i don't see why they'd make an exception here
for the most part you've got competent clinical tone and grammar, but that's about it. i don't really know what to say about this article, probably because this article doesn't have much to say. i'm sorry. it's an invisible material, and nothing more. this article gets in, says that there is an invisible material and that the authority discovered it with RPC-381, and gets out. there's a few interesting directions that could possibly be taken here, i.e. the authority trying to reproduce the material, it possibly backfiring on them in some way, etc. i just do not understand what a reader is supposed to get out of this.
my other big complaint is that i don't see anything helping this to stand on its own from RPC-381. this doesn't really read like Its Own Thing with its own story to tell, it feels as if someone asked an ai to add more detail to the part about the building's camouflage in 381. i'd compare it to if someone wrote a separate article about the scramble gear from SCP-096, which just plainly explained what it did and why it was made.
yeah i'm really sorry, maybe someone else would be more interested in this piece, but it isn't doing anything for me.
blabbo
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