Firstly, hollowed-out lungs? I kept returning and thinking about that because I didn't know whether lungs are truly "hollow" or not. Might want to use some other description because people and I are restarted.
Secondly, the imagery is great - biological creatures becoming hollowed out ocarinas and crawling into one another in an attempt to create the perfect tune is suitably alien and unnerving. The area it also creates with the spiders and webs is also fantastic but maybe a bit too different compared to the previous area and description. If there were mentions of experimentation with spiders and a hint what the "ultimate" form might look like, it would work better methinks.
But, the ultimate problem is twofold: The plot is really predictable, and the buildup does not feel as intensive as it should.
From the beginning, we already know that the anomaly is capable of mind-control and manipulation. Because of this, we are constantly looking for signs of it throughout the story and expect it will be much subtler. But here it is fairly direct and obvious - Something that in on itself is not that much of an issue, but it feels like it was not explained how the hell some superiors missed one guy going insane next to "The rock that makes you go insane if you're next to it". I'm being a bit performative, but I hope my point still stands - for the story to work with obvious mind-control, you'd have to add more intricate details and explanations how such an obvious mistake was overlooked. The lice themselves are a very good twist that occurs to show the appropriate death of the researcher, but you need something like that for the mind control element. Everyone expects and sees his insanity coming - play with the idea a little bit more.
Thirdly, the pacing in the second half of the article, the killzone, needs a lot more work and formatting. It feels like a skimming of the most horrifying and intense moment of the entire story - people falling dead, bullets stopping midair, an asteroid heading for earth and a god-sent sudden change in weather that suddenly saves everyone. The article already has great imagery, and the first half, as predictable as it is, still has a very good gradation to it that the second half misses. I'd recommend you use the incident report you currently have as a sort of scene-by-scene of the expansion, but that ultimately feels like these are documents that were being printed by the hour, archived in the RPC file.
The ending is good, it's always amusing to have a problem launched in the sun. Although leaving it at that seems like a bit of an appropriate ending, but without an oomph - anything ranging from solar wind theories and manipulation to the activation of a solar equivalent of a flash freeze using an anomaly on the sun would be an equally weird but more unique ending.
All in all, good work, but it could use more of it.
