RPC-878 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-878.

I forgot lol

Jamiroquai777 15 Jul 2025 02:54

http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-17139297/preserved-in-my-embrace
Ty to all those who crit
When I get my PC back I'm gonna finish fixing shit

DoubleDenial 15 Jul 2025 22:52

There are a lot of good ideas in this. It's inventive and the concept is appealing to describe. I find the descriptive writing hard to follow, though. It has a bad habit of drawing conclusions before providing information. I infer that RPC-878's radiation somehow converts material to jhanite, but the closest the article gets to stating that directly is:

It is to be noted that this radiation would spread and pose an active environmental risk if not for Authority intervention, due to RPC-878 replacing indigenous stones and sediments with various forms of jhanite.

That's not the only instance of that, either, but it's the most problematic one. It also has two run-on sentences and some disjointed structure: for instance, "can pass through water unhindered, while being impeded by air" should be "unhindered but is impeded by air."

As much as I liked the ideas, the way they came together didn't evoke much for me. The entire description of the city is crammed into the bloated last description paragraph and comes off more as frantic scribbling than a collected tour of the location, the discovery log is aimless, and the finale is more of the description, only sourced from unspecified inscriptions and telling some pretty shallow details that led up to what we knew already: the place was flooded. The best thing it contributes are some names, but that's only the beginning of a story.

That's the thing: this article never leaves the description in spirit. It has one event at best without much of a reason to care, and the imagery, while a strength from the outset, isn't impressive enough to compensate. On the plus side, it at least makes decent use of the assigned hazards. 2/5

ColonelGW 16 Jul 2025 18:39

I think this could've benefitted from a larger exploration log. 3/5.

Almarduk 17 Jul 2025 00:19

I'm a lot more favorable toward brevity than GW or Double. Aside from grammar, I think the major issue with this article is that the Description is poorly organized in a way that inhibits pacing (esp. that final paragraph, it ends speculating that 878's temple is in a pocket dimension, but the term is used before it's introduced as a potential explanation).

You have the right idea generally speaking (first the object itself, then its surroundings, then the pocket dimension) but the individual parts are fairly scattered in such a way that you never get a sense of progression (first, jhanite is explained, then the corpses around 878 are introduced, then we return to the properties of jhanite, only to go back again to corpses being enveloped in a blue flash and remaining warm — ideally, each topic should be exhausted before going to the next).

But aside problems with execution, I don't think there's anything wrong with the current length. If anything, an exploration log might make it so you dilute the description over 3000 words instead of 1000 and intersperse it with dialogue you don't want to write. You could benefit from being a tad more descriptive and suggesting more about the spiritual purpose of the cavern/statue (though being somewhat familiar with buddhism I think I know what the mythological source of inspiration might be).

3/5 — could easily be a 4 with some work polishing the Description.

Last edited on 17 Jul 2025 00:22 by Almarduk Show more