My first RPC (not counting drafts or LoIs) in 6 years. Hope it's decent enough to stay on the mainlist. Credit to Mr Makor, Abbefalkon and JimmyBoyHaha for critiquing my article.
RPC-565 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-565.
This article is likable in spite of its messiness.
Explaining such a complex phenomenon is a challenging task that this particular description isn't entirely up to. Look at the second paragraph of the description, for example, and how jarringly it pings between unrelated topics. It's a blast of information to the face which should've been structured before it was written, and the whole description is like this.
The anomaly itself is equally convoluted. Anomalies are disruptions in the logic of the real world; a frequent problem with RPCs is that some lack a baseline normality to surpass the effect (or lack thereof) of pure inanity. The equalizer of reality makes an RPC click; for instance, the thing that teleports you into the sky is intimidating chiefly because gravity would make you fall and die. My top-down summary of this anomaly would be "a community of bipedal cats with human culture and intelligence", but, I figure, it was a lie that begot more lies: how do you have a civilization last centuries without competing with humans for resources or landing in history books? Make them anomalously self-sufficient.
So, now we have a community of bipedal cats with human culture and intelligence, and some can transmute matter into soil, and some are metal benders, and some can teleport. And they can communicate through speech or infrasound signals, too, I guess. And what did we come here for, again? We're losing the plot. It's an unfortunately lucky thing, then, that most of this matters none to the story. Even the stuff that does make sense is often kind of superfluous. The dog thing is cute, but nothing would change without it; and a paragraph is spent setting up the royal family, but not once are the queen or (curiously never-aging) prince and princess used in the story.
The aforementioned female RPC-565-A has been designated RPC-565-A4 for clarity.
"Designated for clarity," and she was never heard from again.
Discovery: Prior to containment, RPC-565 resided in the abode of American photographer Edward Anthony. Mr. Anthony used pictures of RPC-565-B instances in his 1922 children's book The Pussy Cat Princess.
Besides the minor gripe that the book was actually called "The Pussycat Princess"… I'm disappointed. He had a society of bipedals cats living in his house and used pictures of them in a children's book, as one does? Does this not warrant further setup?
Maybe I'm just disappointed that the cats' 1920s modeling career is another fruitless distraction, and I again find it implausible that these guys have completely flown under the radar for █00 years beforehand. I'd probably do away with this tie-in as a whole and run with the "weirdcore" images from the public domain source instead of coming up with a halfhearted way to incorporate it into the lore.
Doctor Pfieffer: Greetings, RPC-565-A1. I'm Doctor Pfieffer. I'll be interviewing you today.
RPC-565-A1: What manner of name is that?
Here's an awkward old trope that found its way into this article. Yes, do start the interview off on the wrong foot by calling them something obtuse that they've never heard before, so they can go "what does that mean?" Standard Authority procedure.
Overall, this article was nice. I spent a lot of time criticizing a single aspect because the confused direction and missed potential is rather hexing to me. You had the aesthetic down and a perfect opportunity to reflect, twist, or parody human society, but it's not there. The product is an article that's charming enough on the virtues of its brief dialogue and imagery. 3.5/5
RPC-565 refers to a
RPC-565 is a. I say this almost every time, but the first sentence really doesn't need to reinvent the wheel.
Using subdesignations for this anomaly was the right call, but their application is both at odds with the article structure (five paragraphs about RPC-565-B before RPC-565-A is introduced) and strange in of itself. If the royal family is RPC-565-A, why aren't the remaining social roles -B, -C, -D, and so on? If you did it that way, you could write "RPC-565 instances" instead of "RPC-565-B instances" every time, which would slightly aid readability. Alphabetical names are ideal for finite, separate things like these social roles; numbers are good for large or boundless quantities of similar things.
infrasound [Footnote: The term infrasound describes sounds under 20 Hz.] communication when among themselves.
This is one of my least favorite trends in RPC tone, the "use a fancy word and then put the definition in a footnote" gambit. I like to experience new words, and I feel patronized when the author doesn't trust me to look them up or use context clues. If you still don't trust the reader to know the word, don't use it. In this case, infrasound isn't even particularly hard to understand.
4-6 A.M. and 6-8 P.M.
between 04:00 - 06:00 A.M. and 6 - 8 P.M.
5 - 10 meters
2-5 modules
Here are four similar constructs that can't agree on formatting. Especially quote 2, which changes its mind mid-sentence. It's up to you how to write these, but stick to one thing. I personally like "2-5 modules" and "4-6 AM" (note: no periods) best.
RPC-565-Bs resides
All RPC-565-B's have an innate desire
an attempt to harm any RPC-565-As
More inconsistent formatting (are you using an apostrophe to pluralize or not?). I'd probably just use the designation as a plural (e.g. "All RPC-565-B have") in these cases, but it's up to you. Also notice the typo in the first one, which I didn't fix myself because I can't infer how you wanted to render it.
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