British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
Forum
» Writing & Drafts / Archived Drafts
» British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
Summary:
Not people living on flat earth.
The Elves are an Indo-European ethnicity that diverged from the Britons and migrated to the Celtic Otherworlds during the late Bronze Age migration.
and im all about that; that's good stuff
The Elves boast several unique phenotypes as a result of their adaptation
I feel an official document wouldn't say that unless they had clear evidence pointing to the idea they developed something like translucent skin from adaptation alone. I would change this to say that it's believed to be or potentially from adaptation, because my first thought when reading this was, "What if it's from something else?"
Now it could just be Elfish adaptation, but I like to think Monarch wouldn't cross out the idea it could be something more than that.
A prominent distinguishing factor between Elves and baseline humans lies in their cognitive capacities. As a result of their adaptation to a world where one could easily be overloaded with information or left in a perpetual state of confusion, the Elfish people evolved enhanced cognition, sometimes at the cost of basic logical inference.
I would check out the vampires from blindsight by peter watts and how they work b/c its an awful similar in the sense they have more advanced cognition but less "logical inference"… could be good inspo 4 this…
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves,
I would mention before or immediately after this how this interaction comes about- do humans and elves matrimonially mingle when the worlds metaphysically mingle, or is it that groups move from one world to the other and stay that leads to these sorts of interactions and the elvish lineages you mention later?
numerous enigmas still shroud their essence. Recognised as formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality, it's understandable why we used to consider them to be demigods among men. We thought them to be immortal, and it was only when we stood side by side with them as equals did we realised they were human too. Albeit, a lot more powerful, terrifying, and beautiful than the average man.
"Formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality" sounds awfully silly, and doesn't make much sense… I would say "formidable entities who are very spiritual" or "deeply spiritual, formidable entities…" etc. Generally don't use the words "boundless wells" unless you are in fact an elf.
This chiefly includes the Sea of Chaos, an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos…
makes me think of the pale from disco elysium (sorry i hate getting my ideas compared to video games too ._. but this seems similar!) besides that i think evil fog is kind of tired as a concept..!! with everything else here being rly subversive and inventive im surprised the fog is kind of straightforward :/ i wont mind if it stays but i just cant imagine someone saying 'the sea of chaos' aloud with a straight face and like i would either play it straight and call it something more dramatic like doom fog (the tolkien maneuver). Or, you could give it a name in one of the otherworldly tongues! Yam Suph, "The Sea of Chaos" (also the tolkien maneuver) so that you can call it something cool instead. By the way, Yam Suph is the sea of reeds but also refers to the wave of death that swept away the army of the pharoah in Exodus.
I'm wondering what the fomorians are doing in there if it's entropic. I think it'd be better to call the fog itself "The Fomorians" instead, in addition to the hundred-headed beasts. Two reasons: One, better name, two, I think this would be more reflective of how mythology comes from the environment. I mean, considering everything else in this world, there probably are giant monsters in there, not much of a stretch to assume that, but I think it would both communicate how MI13 is still alien to this place and doesn't know everything and would make both the fog, the fomorians, and the Annwn more mysterious.
Hear me out: I've been by a big lake on early autumn mornings recently and it looks like a volcano is erupting with the mist that comes out of the water at those times. You just see a whole cloud sort of manifest over the course of about a half hour. More relevantly, when you see the mist that's settled over the water, wisps of it can sort of look humanoid. Reading about monsters in the fog didn't make me think of Stephen King but the sort of ephemeral, faint figures that kind of ominously drift about. I think if the sea of chaos is a sort of slow moving, gentle, but unstoppable and intangible army of ghosts, that would be more interesting.
Anyway I like this one a lot! I've always been a fan of the otherworlds.
Introduction
I suggest adding the diagram on the first section of the introduction, so that readers can easily be caught up on what an elysian plane is.
The lost image for the Avalonian:
however, we refer only to the realms accessible to us, the British Otherworlds.
It’s the Celtic Otherworlds
It is due to the unique property of their mind and soul, that many reality-benders, psychics, and thaumaturges that display a prodigious understanding of magic more often than not have lineage tracing back to Elves or another race of faeries.
to
Due to the unique properties of their mind and soul, many reality-benders, psychics, and thaumaturges with a prodigious understanding of magic often have lineage tracing back to Elves or other fae races.
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves, numerous enigmas still shroud their essence. Recognised as formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality, it's understandable why we used to consider them to be demigods among men.
to
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves, much about their essence remains shrouded in mystery. Revered as powerful beings with seemingly limitless spiritual energy, it’s easy to see why they were once thought of as demigods among men.
This chiefly includes the Sea of Chaos, an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos
Specify the Sea of Chaos as both metaphorical and literal. Also mention the fact that the Sea of Chaos is what governs the boundary of the Otherworld and not just an anomalous storm.
Caliburn Union
which, depending on who you ask, can either be the brilliant mandate of God, or a Machiavellian plot by Avalonian enchantresses to seize the Otherworlds.
to
Opinions on the Union differ from persona to person, either seeing it as the brilliant mandate of God, or a Machiavellian plot by Avalonian enchantresses to seize the Otherworlds.
The Caliburn Union has no emperor
Erase this. This section never mentioned the Union as an empire.
their authority as Lord Protector spans all the Otherworlds, and ought to be addressed accordingly.
to
their authority as Lord Protector spans across to all of the Celtic Otherworlds.
Gliton I Jan 9, 1949 — Oct 5, 1960 (11 years Quibell-Orllyn
Give my girl a badass nickname. She deserves it.
as well as maintaining the veil of secrecy, hiding the Otherworld from Baseline Earth.
“hiding the Otherworld from Baseline Earth“ Should be a footnote.
Note: A lot of paragraphs here could cut down a sentence or two. MI13 is extremely lore dense and it isn't necessary for the readers to get a preview on all of it. Sentences like "It is in the interest of MI13 that another Crossfell revolt never arises." doesn't actually build intrigue or mystique, and instead looks like info bloat.
Suggestion: Cut down any sentence that isn't immediately relevant to the doc.
Personal thoughts: Lean more into the chivalric aspect of Avalon. Spam knights everywhere.
Avalon
Great Avalon (or Avalon Major), accounting for 92 per cent of Avalonian lands, is the largest and most populated island of the archipelago.
to
Great Avalon (or Avalon Major) accounts for 92 percent of Avalonian lands. It is the largest and most populated island of the archipelago.
Make sure to use active sentences.
In practice, the Ennearchy, having existed since before the crowning of Avalonian monarchs, exercises true executive duties in the Kingdom of Avalon, albeit subservient to the Lord Protector's prerogatives.
to
The Ennearchy existed since before the crowning of Avalonian monarchs. They exercise the true executive duties in the Kingdom of Avalon while subserving to the Lord Protector's prerogatives.
Again, active wording instead of passive ones.
Astute, adept, and attuned to the currents of their realm, the enchantresses are also exceptional thaumaturges, rivaling even the elite sorcerers at our disposal.
to
The enchantresses are exceptional thaumaturges, rivaling even the elite sorcerers at our disposal.
You can cut down a lot of sentences that seem obvious to the readers. I get that you have to bloat the words a bit just so the image wrap text can fit pleasingly in desktop, but you should add in more paragraphs of lore rather than artificially extending them.
Of note, the Duchess-Archbishops of Morgen have had long-standing ties to the Orllyn branch of the Quibell Royal House
Cut down useless conjunctions at the beginning of new paragraphs. There's a lot of it in this doc.
The faeries practice a form of Christianity known as Lazarite Avalonian Orthodoxy, believed to have been spread to Avalon from Roman-era Britain, making it one of the oldest Christian denominations in the world.
to
The faeries practice a branch of Christianity known as Lazarite Avalonian Orthodoxy, thought to have spread to Avalon from Roman-era Britain. This makes it one of the oldest Christian denominations in the world.
Avalonians venerate their own saints (such as "Saint Lazarus" and "Myrddin the Wise") and celebrate the four major Celtic festivals, hosted by a duchess-bishop from one of the cathedral cities, this responsibility is rotated among the nine duchies,
to
Avalonians venerate their own saints (such as "Saint Lazarus" and "Myrddin the Wise") and celebrate the four major Celtic festivals, hosted by a duchess-bishop from one of the cathedral cities. This responsibility is rotated among the nine duchies,
Too many commas, not enough periods.
Note: If possible, use periods instead of commas. It makes the sentence look sharper and more snappy.
Elfame
Comprised of numerous minor Otherworld clusters that intersect the Scottish Lowlands and borderlands, it is home to the Elhhane faeries.
Obviously 😭
This backfired dramatically when the intimate dealings of faeries drew the ire of King James VI of Scotland, who proceeded to declare war on Elfame. The Scottish-Faelic War, formerly known as the "Rightful Cause", and to the Elphanes as the Bleeding of Elfame, was a devastation of unmatched magnitudes. Completely destroying the landscape of Elfame, the war had claimed the lives of innumerable faeries, and killed the Queen of Elfame at its conclusion.
Add some dates and more details to how this event coincides with IRL historical stuff like with dates and key locations. This paragraph doesn't do justice the amount of research you did for Elfame.
Elfames MPs broadly fall under three party blocs.
to
Elfame's MPs broadly fall under three party blocs.
Known as the Redcappers, named after the goblin wardens of Elfame's intersections, espouses ultranationalism, Elphane nativism, and anti-British sentiments.
Ngl I don't think they would be that controversial in Elfame.
Elphanes nowadays knew only Gaelic and an accented English, reminiscent of the Northumbrian dialect.
to
Nowadays, Elphanes speak in Gaelic and a form of English reminiscent of the Northumbrian dialect.
Personal thoughts: Yeah you cooked with this one.
Annwn
"Wide-mawed, hundred-headed beasts" roam within the fog, known as the Fomorians.
I think further elaboration on what the Fomorians are exactly would be nice, made in a similar format to the short introduction to the faeries. They are creatures that adapted to the Sea of Chaos (which is an unlivable domain due to its massively differing ACS), which is essentially the void/chaos theory. I wouldn't exactly go as far as confirming them to be faeries but do make their origins ambiguous.
What's terrifying about them is that they are even more incomprehensible to the faeries than the faeries are to us. Thus, a major component of Annwn's culture should be the defense against the Fomorians as well as their obsession with order in order to fight against the entropic force of the Sea of Chaos.
The Caers are additionally connected by kilometre-long tunnel networks.
That isn't really that long.
Notes: Annwn needs a stronger personal identity to set it apart from the other Otherworlds. Their battle against the Fomorians is an aspect also borrowed (and done better) by the Tairngirish empire.
Here's a suggestion that might spice up Annwn. Make it so that the Fomorians occupy a huge part of land outside of the towers.
Tairngire
Tír na nÓg, Tír na hÓige, or Tairngire is an otherworldly kingdom.
"is an otherworldly kingdom" is getting stale. Reword this and every other mention of "is an otherworldly kingdom" in the other sections.
Inhabitants of Tairngire identify themselves as Aos Sí (folk of the sidhe), supposedly distinct from elfish faeries.
An "Elf" is a clinical definition that accounts for Celts that migrated to the Otherworld. It's similar to how in Turkish mythology, they are descended from wolves or how Koreans are descended from bears.
The Tairngirish people can ethnically separate themselves from the rest of the elfs but unless they are from a different Indigenous ancestry like the Germanics or Latins. Or you could make your own spin and make them descendants of Fomorians. Either way, I'd be more careful with sentences like the above-mentioned.
It was at the direction of these accomplished High Kings, that a slowly centralising Tairngire eventually grew to be known as Tír Dé Danann (Danusvolkes Reich), the first otherworldly empire.
to
It was at the direction of these accomplished High Kings that Tairngire slowly centralised into the Tír Dé Danann (Danusvolkes Reich), the first Otherworld empire
"Otherworldly" is an adjective that isn't equivalent to "Otherworld" as a noun.
Also, I know the MI13 would wanna glaze their otherworld, but let's not get hasty 😭 "the first documented Otherworld empire in Europe" at best.
where the aos sí collected the tribute of faeries ranging from English Boggarts, Gaulish Nymphs, German Changelings, Scandinavian Trolls, and wild critters.
You could add the RPC-758 devilfolks as "imps" 👉👈
but High King Diarmaid Dána was incensed by Queen Jessamine I's inability, and refusal to speak Old Irish. This became the foundation of a longstanding feud between Tairnigire and Avalon.
nothing to crit here. I just wanna mention that I love how much of a colonist asshole Jessamine is lel. Favorite lord protector.
it is typical behaviour of an aos sí to claim famous human rulers to secretly be changelings in disguise, agents carrying out the orders of the Tairngire high court.
to
it is typical behaviour of an aos sí to claim famous human rulers to secretly be changeling agents carrying out the orders of the Tairngirish court in disguise.
Personal thoughts: There is a lot of good detail and lore info here, but it does have the trouble of not being all that fantastical. The Tairngirish clans claim themselves to be the descendants of gods, and they are the leading kingdom that protects the Otherworld and Britain from the Fomorian expansion. So treat them like it. Like, throw in a bunch of corpses of gods and dragons from other pantheons, just make it more fantastical.
Tairngire is an empire constantly at war with itself, its people see themselves as the main character (in typical Irish fashion). Thus, they are an empire that constantly evolves and fluctuates culturally, unlike Avalon which remained the same up until the 19th century.
New Camelot
Add images to this page dude. Maybe Edinburgh?
As a part of the Other-Front of World War One, Avalon was invaded by a combined army of German and aos sí infantry. Camelot was besieged from Jan 20 to Feb 1, 1916. As the First World War had eviscerated much of the European Otherworlds, the League of Nations decided to direct the surviving, but destitute faery refugees into Camelot, causing its population to swell.
I get why it's here but I don't think it's that necessary.
As Europe's last remaining vestiges of occult wonder, Camelot holds cultural significance for all of Europe
to
As Europe's last remaining vestiges of occult wonder, Camelot holds cultural significance for the world.
New Camelot is the "occult capital" of Europe. It is designated a Free Port by the European Union RPC Authority and enjoys good relations with the EU, open to European countries under laxer regulations. Almost three-quarters of Camelot are faeries, and over half of them form the biggest faery diaspora of continental origins.
This has massive implications. I need to remind you that "occultism" is a broad definition for any study that encompasses things that aren't mentioned in mainstream religion or science. So basically, the veiled/anomalous world. You gotta balance how much of the "Celtic Otherworlds" you think should be available information to the veiled world.
Like, it could legitimately change the entire AoI system as we know it.
Thoughts: The Elysium Express part was dragged on for way too long ngl.
For the miscellaneous section, just make it clear it's a section for any future documents involving the Celtic Otherworlds. Or, you could add those extra lore info that wouldn't fit anywhere or dragged the previous sections down to their detriment.
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
My initial thoughts: A lot of the time, in universe guides feel like a slog to get through, however, all the commendations and owes to secrecy make me feel like I'm a decorated agent who's been selected for this elite organization. Pretty good!
Final thoughts: This is nearing completion, but there are a dozen tiny mistakes that scratch away at the bigger picture.
an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos;
If by omnipresent, you mean the fog is everywhere, then I'm not sure how any civilization forms here.
Put simply, it is through the Quibells' ownership of Excalibur that they control all passage between our worlds. It is at the King's discretion that one is allowed to enter or exit the Otherworlds.
I'd put:
That allows them to control all passage between our worlds.
The Avalonian faeries have had substantial contact with the native Britons prior to their departure,
I'd put:
The Avalonian faeries made substantial contact with the native Britons prior to their departure,
Recently, Elfame also saw the emergence of a new far-right party.
I'd cut "also", since it doesn't really tie the thought carried by the previous sentence to this one.
After the catastrophic Bleeding of Elfame, many of the ruined castles and abandoned residences
I'm assuming that the Bleeding of Elfame is refering to the event in the previous sentence. I would establish the name of the event in the previous paragraph.
Rather than confined to the terminal boundary,
Add being in between "than" and "confined".
Pseudo-lifeforms roams within the fog. Gaps inside the Sea creates living illusions of people.
I would find a way to join these two sentences together and elaborate on why they're called "pseudo lifeforms" as opposed to just lifeforms.
Gaps inside the Sea creates living illusions of people.
I'd remove the "s" from creates.
beckons
Ditto.
embodies
Change "embodies" to "embody".
refuge of eight massive towers.
Since this is an overview of the history of the Otherworlds, I would give these towers names.
a Defence Company that supply arms to both Monarch Security, RPC Authority, and Annwn.
Alternative:
a Defence company that supplies arms to organizations such as Monarch Security, the RPC Authority and Annwn.
Approximately 300 Annwfin 'elfshots' are part of the British Army, organised under the Annwfin Faery Regiment.
I think you could afford to elaborate on how they're incorporated into the army's ranks.
In their historiography, the Túatha Dé Danann were already powerful deities that had conquered and ruled Ireland until the arrival of the Milesians
I would cut "had".
becoming the aos sí
Aos Si is capitalized earlier, but not here. Was this intentional?
During *World War One*
Does WWI need to be boldened? I thought you were only boldening fictitious entities.
Though Tairngire superficially resembles Ireland, its peculiarities are notable. Compared to Ireland, the coastline of Tairngire is 'filpped', mirroring Ireland's from a horizontal orientation. The geography of this Otherworld is also inverted, where one would find lakes and rivers on its earthly counterpart would instead find themselves faced with peaks and mountain ranges. As such, MI13 agents familiar with the Irish landscapes often describe Tairngire as 'eerie' and 'uncanny' in spite of its natural beauty.
Earlier, you use the phrase "cartographically identical to Ireland". I would suggest finding a different term to describe their relation, because they clearly aren't 1:1 matches.
characterised by the stronger autonomies of individual aos sí.
Same as before.
Aos sí are proud faeries, and would not hesitate to boast the former glories of Tairngire.
The sentence starts in present tense, but ends in past tense.
During Tairngire's imperial zenith, their expansion extended into several Otherworlds correlated with the known phantom islands of the Atlantic Ocean.
I'd phrase this as:
The Tairngire expanded into several neighboring Otherworlds correlating to the known Phantom Islands of the Atlantic Ocean during their Imperial zenith.
Groves Radiation
I'd put a footnote here to explain what Groves Radiation is.
The Nightmare Fleet has continue their own
Replace "continue" with "continued".
, arbitration by a UNAAC resolution had set the Otherworld free,
I'd cut "had" again.
The Elysium Express centred
Typo! Replace "centred" with "centered".
met with the Ennearchy and they came to a consensus.
That being?
A humble trading port, Camelot racked up its own fortune, forwarding British goods into the Avalonian market.
I'd phrase this as:
Camelot came to prominence as a trading port, forwarding British goods into the Avalonian market.
A small stretch of land of 58 square miles houses nearly one million souls in it,
I'd phrase this as:
Despite only measuring 58 square miles, Camelot houses nearly one million souls.
Camelot is governed by the most modern institutions out of any other parts of the Caliburn Union, complete with its own executive, judiciary, and legislature answerable to the electorate.
This could be its own sentence, remove the comma joining this and the last.
The city's autonomy equals, if not exceeds, that of other Caliburn constituents, the Lord Protector's sovereignty over the city is only ever reminded by the title Prince of New Camelot,
I feel like this could also be split into two different sentences.
Through specialised crash course for MI13 agents of mundane backgrounds, with little to no prior exposure to thaumaturgy, Eccleston is able to quickly equip fresh recruits with foundational knowledge necessary to handle basic assignments.
I'd phrase this as:
Eccleston University offers specialised crash courses on Thaumaturgy to mI13 agents of mundane backgrounds with little to no thaumaturgic training.
Charon Service currently owns and operates the Elysium Express, the Otherworlds' premier transport services.
I would rephrase this in one of two ways:
No. 1: > Charon Service currently owns and operates the Elysium Express, the Otherworlds' premier transport service.
No. 2: > Charon Service currently owns and operates the Elysium Express, one of the Otherworlds' premier transport services.
Also, is it meant to be Charon Service or Services?
(Staff edit: Post removed after its author admitted to writing crit with ChatGPT.)
Here's part 2 of the crit.
Starting with the Memorandum Notice, we really don't need it. It's an older piece of lore that breaks a lot of the pacing of MI13 pages, and would be better as a text box or something similar. In fact, it fits well with that informal note of the introduction. I think it's fine to leave it as is because this page will just be a document without an official MI13 hub for a while, but as soon as the MI13 hub is up and ready, I suggest replacing it with a text box.
The Otherworlds are alternative planes of existence operating under a geocentric flat-Earth framework
It's not necessarily true that all Otherworlds are geocentric. That's just the trait of one of the many Otherworlds. I'd suggest:
The Otherworlds are an alternative plane of existence that overlays Earth in a 4-dimensional grid.
The "4-dimensional grid" is the important part.
The Elves are an Indo-European ethnicity that diverged from the Britons
I'm a bit conflicted on whether or not we should pluralize them as elfs or elves but ehhh, I guess it doesn't matter all that much.
The Otherworlds are united into a polity known as the Caliburn Union.
The Celtic Otherworlds
The Otherworlds are united under a single sovereign state known as the Caliburn Union
The Celtic Otherworlds
MI13 doesn't use RPC's "Elysian Plane" terminology, so it's better to be more specific.
About the Roundtable
It'll be confusing for new readers getting into MI13 to suddenly learn of a new supposedly important department. I suggest adding a sentence before, hinting at its role in MI13. For example:
For centuries, the high command of Monarch Security has overseen the development of its nation through a council known as the Round Table. Although the Caliburn Union is a separate entity from both the British Government and Monarch Security, it holds a seat at the Round Table.
Opposition to their human favouritism has once shown themselves in the Crossfell Revolution, a six-years-long insurgency that almost ended the Orllyn Branch.
This sentence isn't really necessary. I suggest deleting a bunch of "history" lore because they aren't really relevant to the page and only serves to confuse new readers. Move it to the New Camelot section instead
The same can be said for the entire section of the Crossfell Revolution
For this, they are also known as the "Isle of Apples", named after its most numerous produce.
A combination of mountainous geography and untamed wilderness keeps Avalon sparsely populated overall.
The rest of Avalon is sparsely populated due to its mountainous geography and untamed wilderness.
Collectively, these nine women are informally known as the Ennearchy (lit. rule of nine).
The Ennearchy existed since before the crowning of Avalonian monarchs.
The Enchantresses are the pinnacle of matriarchal and ecclesiarchal authority
(just capitalize the enchantress title in general, cuz they're put in the same level of power as duchesses)
More than just excellent governors, the enchantresses are also exceptional thaumaturges, rivaling even the elite sorcerers at our disposal.
These clans fell into two ideological factions based on their moral inclinations—the benevolent Seelie Court, and the malevolent Unseelie Court.
A compassionate ruler, the Queen of Elfame welcomed travellers into her domain; there they were taught thaumaturgy and return to Britain as wisemen, prophets, and cunning folk.
In the aftermath, various despots made their bid to wrest control of Elfame from the crippled Seelie Court, including the Unseelie "King of Elfame".
Replace "Including" with something more active like "led by" so it becomes relevant.
This isn't to say that the Seelie is necessarily good nor the Unseelie evil, as their drive to do action, is an intrinsic part of their nature.
Eight Caer or Towers, stood tall inside the Sea.
Capitalize all "Caer"
Annwn lived an undistinguished elusive history, for they were locked in a forever war with the Sea of Chaos and its Fomorian spawns.
Every Annwfin household purportedly hold at least one heirloom rifle, and members are expected to operate a firearm at least once in their lifetime.
How about just "weapon" instead of "rifle".
Try using this image for Annwn:
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cleveland_Clouds_(32738215494).jpg
or a cropped version of this:
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:USS_TexasSan_Jacinto_Park_in_Fog.jpg
.jpg){kind=link}
I know Annwfin culture is a bit hard to fully create, but here's a suggestion:
- A lot of them grow their food underground
- Settlements outside of the Caer are sparse and far between. This doesn't mean there aren't roads, as one could easily be built by the Fomorians.
- Due to a large number of populations lived underground for hundreds (or thousands) of years, traditional fantasy-style dungeons built by the fair-folks or the Fomorians are not improbable
Deadass you could make Annwn your traditional DnD style world. Especially bolstered by the adventurous Annwfin spirit. The fact that they like to adventure so much may even explain why so many of them find themselves stuck on Baseline Earth.
The Fomorians are terrifying, and unknown creatures, but I suggest hinting at the possibility of them being intelligent and having societies of their own. Like, say, what if the spires were originally the creation of dragons before only two (the white and red dragon) remained.
Tír dé Danann was an otherworldly empire.
Not super accurate to the article. Try something like
Tír dé Danann is a collection of otherworldly land under the subject of the Tairngire Empire
After the first paragraph, you should make it clear what kind of world Tír dé Danann / Tairngire is.
The Tairngire Empire is a fractured realm of nations, where great houses and rival kings vie for power over the Imperial (Rí Ruirí) throne.
call themselves the Aos Sí and rejects their classification,
Capitalize the rest
The legacy of Tír dé Danann is survived by persists through the remnant faery communities that still roams Europe.
Two Germanic Otherworlds are still known to MI13
Reminder to clarify your regions.
In turn, many túaths conjoin to form a cóicid (over-kingdom), where Rí kings answer to the Rí Ruírech (king-over-kings).
The Aos Sí claims a heritage of grandiosity
but aos sí nationalism go further still, insisting as many insists that famous rulers such as Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Charlemagne etc were ancestors or descendants of their race.
Discovered during the Lusitania Expedition, funded and organised by the Royal Congregation, faced steep hostility coming from the knights of Drustanus.
On historical and cultural ties
Weird stray sentence there
Eccleston University
Just add a random pic of some british guy for this section for visual cohesion.
The Cornwall Institute, a precursor and current subsidiary of Eccleston
From 1870 onwards, the Elysium Express
Fix other mistakes that forgets "the"
Specify the precise relationship between EU and Camelot
They should maintain a level of mutual secrecy, with only one Otherworld front (in MI13's case, New Camelot) as the only accessible realm for foreign powers.
You should put the flag of each nation on the front of each tab. It helps create a more immediate visual difference between the kingdoms.
Here are some I've made:
Avalon
Elfame
Annwn
Tairngire
New Camelot
hmu on discord
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
/forum/t-17018414/british-otherworlds-a-summary-of-the-caliburn-union#post-