The Elves are an Indo-European ethnicity that diverged from the Britons and migrated to the Celtic Otherworlds during the late Bronze Age migration.
and im all about that; that's good stuff
The Elves boast several unique phenotypes as a result of their adaptation
I feel an official document wouldn't say that unless they had clear evidence pointing to the idea they developed something like translucent skin from adaptation alone. I would change this to say that it's believed to be or potentially from adaptation, because my first thought when reading this was, "What if it's from something else?"
Now it could just be Elfish adaptation, but I like to think Monarch wouldn't cross out the idea it could be something more than that.
A prominent distinguishing factor between Elves and baseline humans lies in their cognitive capacities. As a result of their adaptation to a world where one could easily be overloaded with information or left in a perpetual state of confusion, the Elfish people evolved enhanced cognition, sometimes at the cost of basic logical inference.
I would check out the vampires from blindsight by peter watts and how they work b/c its an awful similar in the sense they have more advanced cognition but less "logical inference"… could be good inspo 4 this…
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves,
I would mention before or immediately after this how this interaction comes about- do humans and elves matrimonially mingle when the worlds metaphysically mingle, or is it that groups move from one world to the other and stay that leads to these sorts of interactions and the elvish lineages you mention later?
numerous enigmas still shroud their essence. Recognised as formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality, it's understandable why we used to consider them to be demigods among men. We thought them to be immortal, and it was only when we stood side by side with them as equals did we realised they were human too. Albeit, a lot more powerful, terrifying, and beautiful than the average man.
"Formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality" sounds awfully silly, and doesn't make much sense… I would say "formidable entities who are very spiritual" or "deeply spiritual, formidable entities…" etc. Generally don't use the words "boundless wells" unless you are in fact an elf.
This chiefly includes the Sea of Chaos, an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos…
makes me think of the pale from disco elysium (sorry i hate getting my ideas compared to video games too ._. but this seems similar!) besides that i think evil fog is kind of tired as a concept..!! with everything else here being rly subversive and inventive im surprised the fog is kind of straightforward :/ i wont mind if it stays but i just cant imagine someone saying 'the sea of chaos' aloud with a straight face and like i would either play it straight and call it something more dramatic like doom fog (the tolkien maneuver). Or, you could give it a name in one of the otherworldly tongues! Yam Suph, "The Sea of Chaos" (also the tolkien maneuver) so that you can call it something cool instead. By the way, Yam Suph is the sea of reeds but also refers to the wave of death that swept away the army of the pharoah in Exodus.
I'm wondering what the fomorians are doing in there if it's entropic. I think it'd be better to call the fog itself "The Fomorians" instead, in addition to the hundred-headed beasts. Two reasons: One, better name, two, I think this would be more reflective of how mythology comes from the environment. I mean, considering everything else in this world, there probably are giant monsters in there, not much of a stretch to assume that, but I think it would both communicate how MI13 is still alien to this place and doesn't know everything and would make both the fog, the fomorians, and the Annwn more mysterious.
Hear me out: I've been by a big lake on early autumn mornings recently and it looks like a volcano is erupting with the mist that comes out of the water at those times. You just see a whole cloud sort of manifest over the course of about a half hour. More relevantly, when you see the mist that's settled over the water, wisps of it can sort of look humanoid. Reading about monsters in the fog didn't make me think of Stephen King but the sort of ephemeral, faint figures that kind of ominously drift about. I think if the sea of chaos is a sort of slow moving, gentle, but unstoppable and intangible army of ghosts, that would be more interesting.
Anyway I like this one a lot! I've always been a fan of the otherworlds.
Introduction
I suggest adding the diagram on the first section of the introduction, so that readers can easily be caught up on what an elysian plane is.

The lost image for the Avalonian:

however, we refer only to the realms accessible to us, the British Otherworlds.
It’s the Celtic Otherworlds
It is due to the unique property of their mind and soul, that many reality-benders, psychics, and thaumaturges that display a prodigious understanding of magic more often than not have lineage tracing back to Elves or another race of faeries.
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Due to the unique properties of their mind and soul, many reality-benders, psychics, and thaumaturges with a prodigious understanding of magic often have lineage tracing back to Elves or other fae races.
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves, numerous enigmas still shroud their essence. Recognised as formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality, it's understandable why we used to consider them to be demigods among men.
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Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves, much about their essence remains shrouded in mystery. Revered as powerful beings with seemingly limitless spiritual energy, it’s easy to see why they were once thought of as demigods among men.
This chiefly includes the Sea of Chaos, an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos
Specify the Sea of Chaos as both metaphorical and literal. Also mention the fact that the Sea of Chaos is what governs the boundary of the Otherworld and not just an anomalous storm.
Caliburn Union
which, depending on who you ask, can either be the brilliant mandate of God, or a Machiavellian plot by Avalonian enchantresses to seize the Otherworlds.
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Opinions on the Union differ from persona to person, either seeing it as the brilliant mandate of God, or a Machiavellian plot by Avalonian enchantresses to seize the Otherworlds.
The Caliburn Union has no emperor
Erase this. This section never mentioned the Union as an empire.
their authority as Lord Protector spans all the Otherworlds, and ought to be addressed accordingly.
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their authority as Lord Protector spans across to all of the Celtic Otherworlds.
Gliton I Jan 9, 1949 — Oct 5, 1960 (11 years Quibell-Orllyn
Give my girl a badass nickname. She deserves it.
as well as maintaining the veil of secrecy, hiding the Otherworld from Baseline Earth.
“hiding the Otherworld from Baseline Earth“ Should be a footnote.
Note: A lot of paragraphs here could cut down a sentence or two. MI13 is extremely lore dense and it isn't necessary for the readers to get a preview on all of it. Sentences like "It is in the interest of MI13 that another Crossfell revolt never arises." doesn't actually build intrigue or mystique, and instead looks like info bloat.
Suggestion: Cut down any sentence that isn't immediately relevant to the doc.
Personal thoughts: Lean more into the chivalric aspect of Avalon. Spam knights everywhere.
Avalon
Great Avalon (or Avalon Major), accounting for 92 per cent of Avalonian lands, is the largest and most populated island of the archipelago.
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Great Avalon (or Avalon Major) accounts for 92 percent of Avalonian lands. It is the largest and most populated island of the archipelago.
Make sure to use active sentences.
In practice, the Ennearchy, having existed since before the crowning of Avalonian monarchs, exercises true executive duties in the Kingdom of Avalon, albeit subservient to the Lord Protector's prerogatives.
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The Ennearchy existed since before the crowning of Avalonian monarchs. They exercise the true executive duties in the Kingdom of Avalon while subserving to the Lord Protector's prerogatives.
Again, active wording instead of passive ones.
Astute, adept, and attuned to the currents of their realm, the enchantresses are also exceptional thaumaturges, rivaling even the elite sorcerers at our disposal.
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The enchantresses are exceptional thaumaturges, rivaling even the elite sorcerers at our disposal.
You can cut down a lot of sentences that seem obvious to the readers. I get that you have to bloat the words a bit just so the image wrap text can fit pleasingly in desktop, but you should add in more paragraphs of lore rather than artificially extending them.
Of note, the Duchess-Archbishops of Morgen have had long-standing ties to the Orllyn branch of the Quibell Royal House
Cut down useless conjunctions at the beginning of new paragraphs. There's a lot of it in this doc.
The faeries practice a form of Christianity known as Lazarite Avalonian Orthodoxy, believed to have been spread to Avalon from Roman-era Britain, making it one of the oldest Christian denominations in the world.
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The faeries practice a branch of Christianity known as Lazarite Avalonian Orthodoxy, thought to have spread to Avalon from Roman-era Britain. This makes it one of the oldest Christian denominations in the world.
Avalonians venerate their own saints (such as "Saint Lazarus" and "Myrddin the Wise") and celebrate the four major Celtic festivals, hosted by a duchess-bishop from one of the cathedral cities, this responsibility is rotated among the nine duchies,
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Avalonians venerate their own saints (such as "Saint Lazarus" and "Myrddin the Wise") and celebrate the four major Celtic festivals, hosted by a duchess-bishop from one of the cathedral cities. This responsibility is rotated among the nine duchies,
Too many commas, not enough periods.
Note: If possible, use periods instead of commas. It makes the sentence look sharper and more snappy.
Elfame
Comprised of numerous minor Otherworld clusters that intersect the Scottish Lowlands and borderlands, it is home to the Elhhane faeries.
Obviously 😭
This backfired dramatically when the intimate dealings of faeries drew the ire of King James VI of Scotland, who proceeded to declare war on Elfame. The Scottish-Faelic War, formerly known as the "Rightful Cause", and to the Elphanes as the Bleeding of Elfame, was a devastation of unmatched magnitudes. Completely destroying the landscape of Elfame, the war had claimed the lives of innumerable faeries, and killed the Queen of Elfame at its conclusion.
Add some dates and more details to how this event coincides with IRL historical stuff like with dates and key locations. This paragraph doesn't do justice the amount of research you did for Elfame.
Elfames MPs broadly fall under three party blocs.
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Elfame's MPs broadly fall under three party blocs.
Known as the Redcappers, named after the goblin wardens of Elfame's intersections, espouses ultranationalism, Elphane nativism, and anti-British sentiments.
Ngl I don't think they would be that controversial in Elfame.
Elphanes nowadays knew only Gaelic and an accented English, reminiscent of the Northumbrian dialect.
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Nowadays, Elphanes speak in Gaelic and a form of English reminiscent of the Northumbrian dialect.
Personal thoughts: Yeah you cooked with this one.
Annwn
"Wide-mawed, hundred-headed beasts" roam within the fog, known as the Fomorians.
I think further elaboration on what the Fomorians are exactly would be nice, made in a similar format to the short introduction to the faeries. They are creatures that adapted to the Sea of Chaos (which is an unlivable domain due to its massively differing ACS), which is essentially the void/chaos theory. I wouldn't exactly go as far as confirming them to be faeries but do make their origins ambiguous.
What's terrifying about them is that they are even more incomprehensible to the faeries than the faeries are to us. Thus, a major component of Annwn's culture should be the defense against the Fomorians as well as their obsession with order in order to fight against the entropic force of the Sea of Chaos.
The Caers are additionally connected by kilometre-long tunnel networks.
That isn't really that long.
Notes: Annwn needs a stronger personal identity to set it apart from the other Otherworlds. Their battle against the Fomorians is an aspect also borrowed (and done better) by the Tairngirish empire.
Here's a suggestion that might spice up Annwn. Make it so that the Fomorians occupy a huge part of land outside of the towers.
Tairngire
Tír na nÓg, Tír na hÓige, or Tairngire is an otherworldly kingdom.
"is an otherworldly kingdom" is getting stale. Reword this and every other mention of "is an otherworldly kingdom" in the other sections.
Inhabitants of Tairngire identify themselves as Aos Sí (folk of the sidhe), supposedly distinct from elfish faeries.
An "Elf" is a clinical definition that accounts for Celts that migrated to the Otherworld. It's similar to how in Turkish mythology, they are descended from wolves or how Koreans are descended from bears.
The Tairngirish people can ethnically separate themselves from the rest of the elfs but unless they are from a different Indigenous ancestry like the Germanics or Latins. Or you could make your own spin and make them descendants of Fomorians. Either way, I'd be more careful with sentences like the above-mentioned.
It was at the direction of these accomplished High Kings, that a slowly centralising Tairngire eventually grew to be known as Tír Dé Danann (Danusvolkes Reich), the first otherworldly empire.
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It was at the direction of these accomplished High Kings that Tairngire slowly centralised into the Tír Dé Danann (Danusvolkes Reich), the first Otherworld empire
"Otherworldly" is an adjective that isn't equivalent to "Otherworld" as a noun.
Also, I know the MI13 would wanna glaze their otherworld, but let's not get hasty 😭 "the first documented Otherworld empire in Europe" at best.
where the aos sí collected the tribute of faeries ranging from English Boggarts, Gaulish Nymphs, German Changelings, Scandinavian Trolls, and wild critters.
You could add the RPC-758 devilfolks as "imps" 👉👈
but High King Diarmaid Dána was incensed by Queen Jessamine I's inability, and refusal to speak Old Irish. This became the foundation of a longstanding feud between Tairnigire and Avalon.
nothing to crit here. I just wanna mention that I love how much of a colonist asshole Jessamine is lel. Favorite lord protector.
it is typical behaviour of an aos sí to claim famous human rulers to secretly be changelings in disguise, agents carrying out the orders of the Tairngire high court.
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it is typical behaviour of an aos sí to claim famous human rulers to secretly be changeling agents carrying out the orders of the Tairngirish court in disguise.
Personal thoughts: There is a lot of good detail and lore info here, but it does have the trouble of not being all that fantastical. The Tairngirish clans claim themselves to be the descendants of gods, and they are the leading kingdom that protects the Otherworld and Britain from the Fomorian expansion. So treat them like it. Like, throw in a bunch of corpses of gods and dragons from other pantheons, just make it more fantastical.
Tairngire is an empire constantly at war with itself, its people see themselves as the main character (in typical Irish fashion). Thus, they are an empire that constantly evolves and fluctuates culturally, unlike Avalon which remained the same up until the 19th century.
New Camelot
Add images to this page dude. Maybe Edinburgh?


As a part of the Other-Front of World War One, Avalon was invaded by a combined army of German and aos sí infantry. Camelot was besieged from Jan 20 to Feb 1, 1916. As the First World War had eviscerated much of the European Otherworlds, the League of Nations decided to direct the surviving, but destitute faery refugees into Camelot, causing its population to swell.
I get why it's here but I don't think it's that necessary.
As Europe's last remaining vestiges of occult wonder, Camelot holds cultural significance for all of Europe
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As Europe's last remaining vestiges of occult wonder, Camelot holds cultural significance for the world.
New Camelot is the "occult capital" of Europe. It is designated a Free Port by the European Union RPC Authority and enjoys good relations with the EU, open to European countries under laxer regulations. Almost three-quarters of Camelot are faeries, and over half of them form the biggest faery diaspora of continental origins.
This has massive implications. I need to remind you that "occultism" is a broad definition for any study that encompasses things that aren't mentioned in mainstream religion or science. So basically, the veiled/anomalous world. You gotta balance how much of the "Celtic Otherworlds" you think should be available information to the veiled world.
Like, it could legitimately change the entire AoI system as we know it.
Thoughts: The Elysium Express part was dragged on for way too long ngl.
For the miscellaneous section, just make it clear it's a section for any future documents involving the Celtic Otherworlds. Or, you could add those extra lore info that wouldn't fit anywhere or dragged the previous sections down to their detriment.
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.