Brainstorming:
Your idea of having Plamer become infected is interesting, but somewhat out of tone with the rest of the article. The anomaly is a lump of flesh that creates look alike versions of whatever looks at it. Having it suddenly start infecting people with a parasite comes out of left field.
Granted, you could certainly take it in that direction, but you would have to set up the anomaly's ability to do that.
Alternatively, you could have anyone that looks at it become obsessed with it. The longer you look at it, the more obsessed you get. Perhaps they are compelled to look at it again? It could be an interesting idea.
If set up correctly, you can use this as a plot line for a containment breach. Perhaps the wrong person looks at it a bit too long and starts trying to break it out.
A final idea would be to really lean into the whole dobble-ganger thing. Perhaps each instance gets more and more detailed. Closer and closer to the real thing, until they become indistinguishable. Each of these instances might just want to exist, or maybe they're working to break the actual anomaly out. Or maybe it's the latter, but they pretend it's the former?
It could be interesting to see the Authority try to deal with the fakers and adapt to the anomaly, as it tries to adapt to them to get out.
Writing Crit:
The entrance is to be guarded by two ASF personnel at all times.
Weekly inspections and maintenance of the chamber's exterior is are to be carried out by 2C clearance maintenance staff, End sentence and The interior is to be cleaned cleaned bi-weekly and after testing.
Extraneous excess is to be incinerated.
This sentence has great potential to hook the reader in, but as worded it is just confusing. It's not clear what exactly is being incinerated. If the sentence was something like "Extraneous flesh is to be incinerated." the reader now knows an interesting bit of information about the anomaly. It helps keep the reader's interest.
In case of complete de-manifestation of RPC-838, MST Delta-1 ("The Keepers") is to be dispatched to regions with ecosystems noted to be experiencing a decline in sentient life.
RPC-838-1 instances are to be contained in 3×3×3 standard containment units each.
Missing units. 3x3x3 what?
First paragraph of the description is good.
RPC-838 10-20 days under its inactive state, in which case will actively seek direct sentient observation.
Sentence structure should be stronger
RPC-838 will actively seek direct sentient observation if it has been in an inactive state for longer than 10-20 days.
In this state, RPC-838 pulsates at a heightened frequency, records ranging from 80 to █00 bpm. The rate of 838's de-manifestation exponentially increases the longer 838 is observed.
Bit of a jarring jump in subject matter. Doesn't feel like you're done talking about its heightened state. More detail should be added to this. Does it just pulsate faster? Does it try to break out? If so, how? Does it try to attract people somehow? There's a lot you could add to this.
To note, is a spike in Kabushiki Kawaii activity in forests across the world. The reason for which is currently under investigation.
Not correct. Needs to be reworded
To note, is a spike in Kabushiki Kawaii activity in forests has been observed across the world. The reason for which is currently under investigation.
CSD instructed to observe RPC-838 for 10 minutes. RPC-838-S12 is put in a 1×1m standard containment cell with a window open in 838's direction to observe it for 10 minutes.
Results: RPC-838-S-15. Demanifestion rate: 9m3/s. No traces of the observing RPC-838-S-4 are found on the resultant instance. Instance 13 was of notably tangible design than that of instance 12.
The S instances are all over the place, making it difficult to follow along with the experiment. Needs to be in numerical order.
Procedure: CSD CSD-21454 is worn to wear a blindfold and instructed to approach 838end sentence CSD-21454 is to tie its appendage shut with the rope, then remove the blindfold and observe 838. ACS chamber calibrated to level 3.
Afterword: After 2 months, 838-S30 has grown to highly resemble the CSDs' offspring, 14 year old son Llewellyn █████████ in appearance and behavior.
Final Thoughts:
A very interesting concept with some good visuals and formatting. The writing could be tighter in some areas, but overall is good and in line with the research article type tone needed for articles like this.
Improvements to be done are refining the concept, developing a sort of "story" throughout the article (which you've already started to do) and tightening up the grammar and sentence structure.
Overall, a very good draft.
Well done
