The God of Flayed Clowns
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
The God of Flayed Clowns
Forum
» Writing & Drafts / Archived Drafts
» The God of Flayed Clowns
Summary:
Skinning clowns alive is a constitutional right
Currently, all known RPC-XXX-1 instances that could pose a threat to the Authority are institutionalized into Site-070.
Critic Note: Why Site-070? Are you gonna tie the theme of Site-070 to the article in some way? This is less a critique and more a nitpick.
RPC-XXX is a memetic philosophical theory that revolves around the following the examples of an archetypal deity…
Delete the “the” I folded.
…known as the “God of Flayed Clowns."
I would add a “typically” before the word “known”.
Critic Note: Another nitpick, but I feel like in a footnote you should add other names that refer to the same being. Since religious deities typically have multiple names to refer to them across the singular religion or when it crosses to other cultures.
This phenomenon occurs randomly, whereby any human subject may become an instance of RPC-XXX-1 upon arriving at a philosophical conclusion about the nature of reality that aligns with RPC-XXX's intellectual framework.
It seems a bit redundant to say the phenomenon is random when it seems that the anomaly activates when a person comes to a conclusion about reality.
The tendons of RPC-XXX-1 instances have increased elasticity,…
Change to:
The tendons of RPC-XXX-1 instances tend to increase in elasticity,…
Higher-sequence RPC-XXX-1 instances demonstrate an advanced spiritual intuition regarding the mental states of nearby human subjects and the nature of the infoplane…
Change to:
Higher-sequence RPC-XXX-1 instances demonstrate an advanced intuition regarding the mental states of nearby human subjects and insights into the nature of the infoplane…
The archetype of the "Flayed Clown" has existed since ancient Mesopotamia, the depictions and renditions of it going through a cultural alchemy as the contemporary collective unconscious changes with time.
I would honestly change the bolded to “evolution”. It makes More sense.
Reading this article I thought back to RPC-769 and what my intentions were while I was writing, and I fucking hate you because this article is literally something I wish I would have written.
It's a really good article and it tickles all my sweet spots, including the historical autism I'm very fond of. It has a Series-I vibe to it that I also love, and at the same time there is a certain depth to it that gives it its own personality; I particularly liked the incident logs and the interview, really gives some great insight. There is something so Eldritch but at the same time grounded about this that just elevates the vibes of the whole article.
The only thing I can lament is perhaps the lack of flavour you usually put in your articles: as it stands, the content works in its current state but I think it's missing some overarching narrative within the article itself. I would use Dr. Clark and the information given about him in the interview as a tool to show us someone actually spiralling down the Flayed Clown rabbit-hole, doesn't have to be that lengthy, I would just really love to see it.
As it is, it's a 4.5/5 for me.
Marco Marchi B. Mark
Charlie's Critique
Grammar Critique
[Containment]
Identification of affected individuals remains impractical, as RPC-XXX-1 entities are highly elusive and often indistinguishable from unaltered personnel.
Change to:
Identifying affected individuals remains impractical, as RPC-XXX-1 entities are highly elusive and often indistinguishable from unaffected personnel.
In the event that an RPC-XXX-1 instance is encountered, whether in the field or during protocol, staff are instructed to immediately recite the following affirmations:
Change to:
If an RPC-XXX-1 instance is encountered, whether in the field or during protocol, staff must immediately recite the following affirmations:
[Description]
RPC-XXX is a memetic philosophical theory that revolves around the examples of an archetypal deity typically known as the “God of Flayed Clowns."
Change to:
RPC-XXX is a memetic philosophical theory centered on the archetypal deity commonly referred to as the “God of Flayed Clowns."
RPC-XXX-1 perceives this metaphorical entity as the embodiment of their shared beliefs.
Change to:
RPC-XXX-1 instances perceive this metaphorical entity as the embodiment of their shared beliefs.
This worship manifests as an absurdist worldview centered around both physical and emotional masochism.
Change to:
This worship manifests as an absurdist worldview centered on both physical and emotional masochism.
Affected individuals, hereafter referred to as RPC-XXX-1, would often engage in self-harming rituals to “bring change in the world around them”.
Change to:
Affected individuals, hereafter referred to as RPC-XXX-1, often engage in self-harming rituals to “bring change in the world around them.”
His main concern was to bring awareness to the existence of clowns.
Change to:
His primary objective was to raise awareness of the existence of clowns.
Accompanying these psychological shifts, physiological mutations also occur.
Change to:
Alongside these psychological changes, physiological mutations also manifest.
Additionally, their cervical spine transforms into a cancellous bone structure, causing them to tilt and rest their heads at unusual angles for comfort.
Change to:
Their cervical spine also transforms into a cancellous bone structure, causing them to tilt and rest their heads at unusual angles for comfort.
Higher-sequence RPC-XXX-1 instances demonstrate an advanced spiritual intuition regarding the mental states of nearby human subjects and the nature of the infoplane, often referred to in RPC-XXX texts as the "spiritual world of forms."
Change to:
Higher-sequence RPC-XXX-1 instances exhibit advanced spiritual intuition concerning the mental states of nearby human subjects and the nature of the infoplane, often described in RPC-XXX texts as the "spiritual world of forms."
This level of spiritual insight is comparable to that of a mystic or an advanced thaumaturge, and may occasionally result in extremely minor reality-bending phenomena.
Change to:
This level of spiritual insight is comparable to that of a mystic or advanced thaumaturge, and may occasionally result in extremely minor reality-bending phenomena.
RPC-XXX branches into a thaumaturgic art based around illusions and superhuman athleticism, an art that's closely guarded amongst the high-sequence RPC-XXX-1 priests.
Change to:
RPC-XXX extends into a thaumaturgic art focused on illusions and superhuman athleticism, a discipline closely guarded by high-sequence RPC-XXX-1 priests.
A common trait amongst cultists are the use of masks to "change their identity", and a cultural love of music and theatre.
Change to:
A common trait among cultists is the use of masks to “change their identity,” along with a cultural affinity for music and theatre.
As a philosophical framework and as an aesthetic sensibility, RPC-XXX predates the modern concept of the clown and could have existed as far back as the early 16th century.
Change to:
As both a philosophical framework and an aesthetic sensibility, RPC-XXX predates the modern concept of the clown and may have existed as far back as the early 16th century.
The core tenets of Flagellation has remained unchanged during all those time.
Change to:
The core tenets of Flagellatism have remained unchanged throughout this time.
Lore Critique
Honestly I've got nothing much to say here. I love what you've written, but I suggest expanding a bit more on containment procedures. What is the Authority to do if a civilian becomes infected with the ideology? What is the procedure to cover this up?
Final Thoughts
I can't wait for this to become Canon on site. 5/5 stars. I want clowns to be real.
/forum/t-16901128/the-god-of-flayed-clowns#post-