Jimin and Yumin’s Urban Adventure (KOBACO)
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
Jimin and Yumin’s Urban Adventure (KOBACO)
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» Jimin and Yumin’s Urban Adventure (KOBACO)
Summary:
RPC-XXX is a program about Jimin and Yumin as they encounter paranormal phenomena and educate the viewers about them.
I really enjoyed the concept of this article. The very idea of a culturally local anomalous television program to help inform those in need is quite wholesome, the illustrations also add well to that charm. The hostile reaction against the Authority and the GoI's juxtaposes well with the nature of the RPC. Its almost like a PSA at the end of the show that the viewers wouldn't really pay attention to, but the Authority would really pay attention to, the program name-dropping the Authority and all the targeted memetic stuff was funny too, might of been better if you held off more on those details in the beginning but that would be re-write territory for a small detail and change.
There could of been a little more extrapolation in the beginning description or at the end of the article on the the choices of what anomaly is discussed in the program, similar to the researchers footnote at the end of first media log. The addition of other written RPCs in the article added to the spice, but I guess with this kind of article that is almost a given. I like it, and it could use a little more branching out of the ideas that are shown. Metacritic score of 78.
Spelling, punctuation, grammar, and errors.
"When the broadcast is in a 7 m proximity to individuals affiliated with anomalous organizations (excluding the KCAP)"
7 should be written down as "seven", its a nitpick but simple numerals are usually spelled out in writing.
"MEDIA LOG: XXX-S1E4… The following document is a transcript of RPC-XXX's 47th episode screencasted on 3/14/2012.
This is the 47th episode yet its only season one episode four, a year after the anomaly was discovered? I didn't see anything in the article that eluded to episodes being aired before the discovery date, or this being the 47th episode of the first season.
"Making eye contact with a Dokkaebi invite their mischief, so avoid it!"
Invite should be changed to "invites".
"Although they enjoy politeness, they are also repulsed by love and the power of love and friendship, so keep your family and friends close by!"
Maybe redundant? Remove "love" and keep "the power of love and friendship".
Go easy on me its my first actual crit.
The article starts off pretty clear, I understand what’s being said. The only thing I’d like some clarification on is how the show cuts out when people who are affiliated with an anomalous organization view it. I know the description states something about utilizing a network, though. So if I were an RPC agent who walked into a room with this show on and looked at it, would it immediately cut to static?
I’d actually like it if that’s what happens, it has a somewhat creepy feeling to it, for it to just cut to static right when such a person looks it at it. It would be as if the show “knows” you’re an Authority agent, as opposed to it checking your network.
memetics that causes short seizures
Should be “memetics that cause”
I think it’d also be a good idea to distinguish between Jimin and Yumin. Maybe describe their appearances in the picture caption or something?
but Jimin accidentally slip on a banana peel and fall down.
Should be “but Jimin accidentally slips on a banana peel and falls down.”
(A Dokkaebi enters the house from another window and looms over Yumin and Jimin.)
Forgive me if I’m missing something. In the picture, it shows the dokkaebi and the two characters outside a house, yet this sentence makes it sound as if they’re all inside a house?
Yumin: Protective charms and talismans repels bad luck.
Should be “Protective charms and talismans repel bad luck.”
Yumin and Jimin slowly back away from the Aigeomi, then starts running
Should be “then start running”
Speaking together)
Yumin: There's a- there's a uh there are right there, there was-
Jimin: Right there, right there, there's a spider and uh- there's a-
Be sure to put spaces between these lines.
(Speaking together)
Yumin: No you don't understand, we were running from a uh, it was a spider-kid—
Jimin: He looked like a kid but was a spider. He was right there- uh there right there-
Same as above.
(Together)
Yumin: Mhm! mhm!
Jimin: Yes! Yes!
Same as above.
(Jimin and Yumin freeze in fear and slowly turns to the Aigeomi.)
Should be “and slowly turn”
Jimin: What if I told you there is an entire species of giant spiders that look just like us.
There should be a question mark at the end.
Jimin: For you and your family's personal safety, please don't contact any agency outside of the country such as PCAAO or the RPC Authority.
Seeing the PCAAO and RPC Authority piqued my interest. I sense build-up?
Jimin: Eh Yuminy, it’s not their job to help us.
Not sure if the typo In Yumin’s name is on purpose.
Not just that, there was this one time a girl from china
China should be capitalized.
Interviewed-1: Spiders yes?
A comma should come after “Spiders”
Jimin: That'd be scary wouldn't it?
I hate to be nitpicky, but I recommend a comma after “scary”
Yumin: Would you want to avoid them then?
There really isn’t anything wrong with this sentence, but I think it’d make more sense to make it “Wouldn’t”, since I think it’s common for people to use “wouldn’t” instead.
(The IP address of several Authority
Should be “addresses”
Overall, I think this is a fun article. The episodes were pretty enjoyable to read through. Besides, I’m a sucker for when RPCs show how they interact with other RPCs.
Maybe I’m being dull, but it feels like there’s not a lot of “anomaly” to the show. I think it’d be nice if the show could demonstrate awareness of who’s watching without the use of any technology. For example, the show just cuts straight to static when an RPC agent simply glances at it, no explanation.
I would’ve rated this a 3/5, but I think this article isn’t that low. I’d give it a 4/5. Pretty fun article.
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