GRP-002-1 through -1318 is currently in the hands of the Karza.
Plural subject, should be "are".
will encounter GRP-002-A, which resembles a large, eyeless, vaguely humanoid entity with male characteristics.
Don't say "resembles" if that's what it is, especially if you're already hedging with "vaguely". Also, my rule of thumb is to introduce the object first before its sub-designation, but that's technically a personal preference. (But I have my reasons)
Occasionally, GRP-002-A will, most likely accidentally cause unnecessary high levels of stress within rangers. This usually happens after being asked a specific question.
There should be a comma after "accidentally", and while it's not strictly incorrect you should probably say "unnecessarily" instead of "unnecessary". That doesn't help a whole lot, because these two sentence read clunkily overall, and the general impression is heavy-handed foreshadowing as opposed to actually useful description.
This is presumably done by somehow influencing the probability of the series of events leading to the wish occurring.
Double-hedging with "presumably" and "somehow", and this sentence sounds incredibly informal as a whole. There are much better ways to introduce a tychokinetic effect.
For example, he can make you fall in love, but he cannot make you apart of a different species.
Again too informal, this time due to the use of second person. "Apart" should be two words, unless "separating you from a different species" was your intent. Also, as I say, relying on examples to explain things is cowardly writing.
While the Karza has used GRP-002 for thousands of orbits, some factions in the GT inferred its existence through its demonstrations.
Not the worst sentence, but it only becomes clear with the context of the next. Here's my go at it: "Though GRP-002 was held secret by the Karza for thousands of orbits, some factions in the GT had already suspected that such an object was in their possession."
Helmet footage suggests that he thought the GRP was some gem
The GRP was confiscated from Ranger Fleeb
This is subjective, but I don't like hearing "the GRP" or "the RPC" in clinical writing.
Senior Ranger Asker: Oh no you you wont.
bro
The explosion would alert Rangers Alo and Ranger Fleeb and, after 45 minutes, would successfully recoverer the body of their leader and GRP-002-39.
Mismatched subject; the explosion would recover the body of their leader?
a tychokenetic threat
Typo; should be "tychokenetic".
Therefore, GRP-002-39 would be locked inside a storage container indefinitely at the dig site till contact with GRPC high command could be established.
"Till"?
During the chaos, Ranger Fleeb would locate GRP-002-39 in the ruble
Typo; should be "rubble".
After picking up the surviving Galatic Ranger personnel
Typo; should be "Galactic"
A square room was outfitted with 360 video coverage and atmospheric and energy readers, which GRP-002-39 placed in the center of.
Missing word after "GRP-002-39" ("was"?). Alternatively, you could say "with GRP-002-39 placed in the center."
Researcher Baker requested a transfer off the GRP-002 project and requested an immediate administering of amnestics, citing "GRP-002-A's truth has harmful memetic properties."
He didn't seem that fazed in the log itself. Not to mention that the "Boltzmann's brain" was his proposal to begin with, so it's strange for him to act completely blind-sided by it.
High Hiereiai: Lets not waste time.
Missing apostrophe.
> High Hiereiai: Why don't you ask it?
Messed-up formatting?
An after image of sorts.
"Afterimage" is one word.
A realm I can not influence.
It is a boundary I can not see beyond
"Cannot" is also one word.
GD-BONDS: What!
A guy finding out he's about to die could at least use a question mark. It's a little silly-looking.
Initiate Galatic Translator? [YES]/[NO]
Same typo as earlier.
The entity, he, he knew
Is the writer stuttering over text?
(account deleted)