A decent mystery article, cut and condensed to a claustrophobic degree to fit a contest that I don't think it was made for to begin with. This story should've taken pride in not being minimalist. It has agents stationed across the country, conspiracies, drugs, internet crawlers, rumors, suspicious bartenders, a dialogue-based section, and a murder mystery.
Also, this particular bit is really weak:
RPC-936 came to Authority attention after an agent purchased one of their wines. The agent was notably rebellious towards authority, but had completely reversed his personality.
You have an anomaly that makes people less rebellious towards authority, so you have an agent who you say is rebellious towards authority take the anomaly and then you say that he stopped being rebellious towards authority. This could be a lot more colorful.
It's not a bad story, and you're not a bad storyteller. I just think it could've been a lot better if it took more time to settle itself. 3/5
(Maybe it's a good introduction to Omega Iota because of its unintimidating length? I can't say.)
