RPC-XXX is to be kept in a standard anomalous item locker. The object is to be restrained as to prevent mobility.
Suggested change:
RPC-XXX is to be kept in a standard anomalous item locker and restrained to prevent mobility.
RPC-XXX is a simple folded paper airplane. Despite no apparent method of propulsion, the item will remain airborne
RPC-XXX is a folded paper airplane. Despite no apparent method of propulsion, RPC-XXX will remain levitating
Also you should probably specify what types of "restrain." Feels vague right now. What is restraining it? Handcuffs? Nylon Ropes?
Destinations selected by RPC-XXX commonly include places considered to be popular tourist designations, with the object seen circling around prominent landmarks prior to containment
How does it "select" destinations? and what criteria would be meet "popular tourist designations?"
Something like this might work better:
Locations reported to have been visited by RPC-XXX prior to containment commonly include prominent landmarks and popular tourist designations.
Overall, its a simple but a good short read. I like the notes found inside RPC-XXX in-terms of narrative, giving RPC-XXX's anomalous effects/origin more depth. I would recommend some polishing with the description and containment protocol and it would be a 4/5 for me.
RPC-XXX is to be kept in a standard anomalous item locker. The object is to be restrained with a paper clip to prevent mobility.
absolutely adorable containment procedures.
RPC-XXX is a simple folded paper airplane
don't need simple there
Despite no apparent method of propulsion, the item will remain airborne until restrained. When unobstructed, RPC-XXX will proceed to glide towards a chosen target at a speed of roughly 30 m/s, passing bodies of water and navigating around obstacles.
RPC-XXX will propel itself through unknown means towards a chosen target at a speed of approx. 30 m/s. The anomaly is capable of navigating around obstacles to reach its target unless obstructed or restrained, and appears to be capable of traversing indefinitely.
You still have a ton of words left to use, so I think you should explain how it "chooses" targets. Also the "traversing indefinitely" thing may not be accurate, but I just put it there bc it seems like something you should include, word it how you want.
To avoid the risk of neutralization, the text was gathered from an X-ray imaging of the object as opposed to unfolding it.
🥺🥺 so sweet!!
This, combined with the content, suggests the text to be a foreign language writing exercise.
We should be able to figure this out ourselves I think. cut cut
this is the cutest stuff EVER I LOVE this article I want it to WIN
Anything highlighted in yellow is what I suggest you change, anything in strikethrough is what I recommend you remove.
Containment Protocols:
RPC-XXX is to be kept in a standard anomalous item locker. RPC-XXX is to be restrained with a paper clip to prevent mobility.
Short and sweet. Not much to change here.
Description:
RPC-XXX is a folded paper airplane. RPC-XXX will randomly begin to propel itself through unknown means towards a chosen target at a speed of approx. 30 m/s. RPC-XXX is capable of navigating around obstacles to reach its target, unless obstructed or restrained, and appears to be capable of traversing indefinitely.
I recommend referring to RPC-XXX as RPC-XXX, and not as "The Object" but that's just me.
Addendum:
The following is a message found imprinted in pencil on the piece of paper which makes up RPC-XXX. To avoid the risk of neutralization, the text was gathered from an X-ray imaging of the object as opposed to unfolding it. The transcript appears to be written in broken Russian. An altered translation is provided below.
I like the message at the end. I honestly think that this whole concept is a breath of fresh air compared to some of the items and anomalies we see at the Authority. It's a basic idea, but I'm not going to shoot it down just because of that.
It's short, it's sweet, and the Addendum is a great way to end it off. No murder. No scary effects. No life altering incidents. Just a sweet story about a presumably Russian girl living in Germany who wants to become either a doctor or a pilot. I like it. 5/5 from me.
Good luck with the contest!