Red won't get off my ass about GRPC until I get 2 crit on this, so crit plz
knock…knock… Special Delivery, for a one Mr. Top!
Special palladium-storing organelles
To
Unique palladium-storing organelles
break down its local observable reality into its most basic ideas and transport it across space using the Ursaplane as a medium
To
break down its local observable reality into memotic scalars, transporting them across space using the Ursaplane as a medium
Add footnotes for the Infoplane content
exchange for their economic services.
To
exchange for their financial services.
Not much is known of their first contact with another species. Historical accounts suggest the Zidophants used their psychic powers to uplift a more primitive species into a state of sapience through the alteration of their minds. What species this was and what has happened to them since is, as-of-yet, unknown.
You mention earlier that their first contact was with the aliens they stole FTL tech from. Specifiy that this is THEIR first contact, as in, they showed up in orbit around another alien world.
Also specify what historical accounts, from what, where, or whom.
First contact with the GT were not fruitful when Zidophant Diplomats attempted to use their psychic powers to manipulate other aliens into giving them preferential treatment multiple times.
To
First contact with the GT ended tragically, when Zidophant Diplomats attempted to use their psychic powers to manipulate GT officials into giving them preferential treatment.
Zidophants easily countered and, using their ability read the collective unconscious's minds of the market, predicted stock outcomes.
To
Using their ability to read the collective unconscious, Zidophants were able to counter by predicted stock outcomes.
behavior are so extreme and innate that it's often
To
behavior are so extreme and intrinsic that it's often
Everything that could pose a threat to the Zidophants is instinctually distrusted,
To
Everything that could treaten the Zidophants is instinctually distrusted,
Zidophant celebrate the "Day of the Taken Star."
To
Zidophant commemerate the "Day of the Taken Star."
holiday is a full day-long celebration.
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holiday is a day-long celebration.
During the night, at midnight of the day beginning,
To
At midnight, the start of the new days beginning,
disconnected from this psychic network and must reach mental to access it.
To
disconnected from this psychic network and must reach maturity to access it.
Dolneey, are the aforementioned Zidophants unable to peer into the Infoplane or Ursaplane.
To
Dolneey, are the Zidophants, as mentioned above, unable to peer into the Infoplane or Ursaplane.
A singular monolithic memetic bending entity, Myśli Boga helps anchor all Zidophant Infoplane activity, solidifying the psychic network.
To
Myśli Boga helps anchor all Zidophant Infoplane activity, a singular monolithic memetic bending entity, solidifying their psychic network.
While little is known about who or what it is, where it's located, or what it seeks to achieve, Zidophants universally revere it as a telepathic God. Other Infoplane-sensitive aliens in the GRPC have reported feeling its presence and glimpsed sights of a shadow of something powerful lurking in the Sea of Forms.
To
Zidophants universally revere it as a telepathic God. Little is known publically as to who or what Myśli Bogais is, where it's located, or what it seeks to achieve. Infoplane-sensitive aliens in the GRPC and PsyCorps have reported glimpsed sights of a powerful shadow lurking in the Sea of Forms, positing that this could be Myśli Boga.
If you are not compatible or can not wear a vac-suit for cultural or religious purposes, the GTP suggests visiting one of the many Zidophant allied homeworlds.
To
If one refuses to wear a vac-suit for cultural, religious, or physiological purposes, the GRPC suggests visiting one of the many Zidophant-allied homeworlds with atmospheric conditions suitable for you.
Meant to do this earlier but bleeeeeeh
is a rotund and telepathic quadrupedal species
is a rotund, telepathic, and quadrupedal species
A Zidophant is a small and dense species,
A Zidophant is a small and dense (creature/lifeform);
Most species consider this connection is not 100% understood and anomalous.
This connection is not entirely understood and is considered anomalous.
Nevertheless, when a Zidophant
(New Paragraph) Nevertheless, When a Zidophant
using the Ursaplane as a medium
I don't know what this is. I originally thought it was a typo, but its mentioned again later, so I just gotta ask, what is this? Is this explained in another page or is this a bit of solidifying vapor lore?
repressive stone-age empire
repressive, stone-age empire
religious cult of psychic Zidophants outlaws who lived in the living hill highlands
religious cult of psychic Zidophants who lived in the Living Hill Highlands
I assume this is the name of a specific location, otherwise maybe elaborate more on the place in a footnote?
This psychic cult would use their newfound machinery to enslave the barbaric slaver hoards, forcing them to cultivate and harvest more Šňupat.
Which was then used to enslave the barbaric slaver hoards and force them to cultivate Šňupat.
Typo on the image text btw
This anomalous drug boosts one's connection to the Infoplane in most sapient species.
This doesn't come up anywhere else in the dossier and feels somewhat unnecessary as a result. With a species so obsessed with the infoplane and related anomalies, along with rituals and spiritualism, it feels weird that a drug that plays directly into their theology is so absent from their social structure and rituals. A few questions you could answer about this drug include:
- Who is allowed access to the drug? Does it vary between classes? ie, are the Dolneey given none as it would be a waste to let them use it while the Mówceey are given extreme amounts to assist in their duties?
- How much may a given person in their society be allotted? Are people allowed more of a share during spiritually significant holidays/events?
- How is this drug viewed by the Zidophants? Is it revered as some kind of divine in itself? Or is treated as simply a tool?
- How much of this drug is there in relativity with the species as a whole? The galaxy is a big place, and there's only going to be so much space where you can grow this stuff. If the whole species wants it, you're gonna have a massive amount of demand. How exactly is this stuff produced, and how much of it can be produced? ie, is it rare, or common, or somewhere in between? Furthermore, does accessibility vary between locations?
Also, rewrite of that sentence:
(Put into footnote at the end of last sentence) An anomalous drug which, upon consumption, boosts a sapient lifeform's connection to the Infoplane.
Their first contact with another lifeform was relatively peaceful. While not much is known, historical accounts suggest the Zidophants used their psychic powers to rewrite the brain of the semi-sapient lifeform, uplifting them into a mentally adept sapient state.
Same problem with the drug. This just isn't brought up again. I feel this would be better being cut out. Messes with the flow of the section and doesn't have much to it. Nonetheless, rewrite below.
(New paragraph) Not much is known of their first contact with another species. Historical accounts suggest the Zidophants used their psychic powers to uplift a more primitive species into a state of sapience through the alteration of their minds. What species this was and what has happened to them since is, as-of-yet, unknown.
First, contacts with the GT
First contact with the GT
While Pro Humanity first groups
the non-zionists I see
While "Humanity-First" groups
Gestalt Consciousness
Would this be capitalized? I'm not sure but I feel like it wouldn't.
Overall, pretty swag article about space, elephant Jews. I'd give it 4/5. Should definitely expand more on the uplifting stuff and the drugs though.
"Who is allowed access to the drug? Does it vary between classes? ie, are the Dolneey given none as it would be a waste to let them use it while the Mówceey are given extreme amounts to assist in their duties?"
It should be obvious that the Dolneey were not given any, as they already dont have a connection to the infoplane to boost in the first place. I dont mind the idea regarding the Mowceey, but I also dont want to leave all questions answered, leave something for writers to come up with
"How much may a given person in their society be allotted? Are people allowed more of a share during spiritually significant holidays/events?"
I didn't imagine a set, rationed amount. I kinda imagined that it's up to the digression of the Zidophant, as they kinda trust their own kind enough not to try and OD on the stuff.
"How is this drug viewed by the Zidophants? Is it revered as some kind of divine in itself? Or is treated as simply a tool?" It is a tool, nothing more. A helpful tool, pivotal for alot of their society, but its praised no more than coffee is to us.
"How much of this drug is there in relativity with the species as a whole? The galaxy is a big place, and there's only going to be so much space where you can grow this stuff. If the whole species wants it, you're gonna have a massive amount of demand. How exactly is this stuff produced, and how much of it can be produced? ie, is it rare, or common, or somewhere in between? Furthermore, does accessibility vary between locations?" Maybe it should've been explained better, but Zidophants are the only ones who really get the intended effect from it. It technically boosts most species connection to the infoplane upon consumption, but for most species viewing or manipulating the infoplane would be a garbled mess of physical concepts and geometric mindfucks. The Zidophants are the only ones who can really utilize the drug as a benefit, and not as a hallucinogen. I didnt feel the need to go deep into detail about Snupat in this, as this is about the Zidophant, and the Snupat is mostly an accessory to the race. May make/have someone else make an article just about Snupat in the future though.