I finished the first version of this new idea, and looking whether it needs something fixed or added to it. It doesn't feel bare-bones, it's just short. But no reason not to have some more content.
RPC-321 can be safely stored within a low-containment containment locker. Once a week, the anomaly is to be extracted from its containment at precisely 06:66 AM two times in a row and inspected for signs of the activation of its anomalous property.
I'm almost positive that the 06:66 AM is on purpose, but I figured I'd mention it just in case.
R. Bulcanan: Turkish. Alright, the next one.
Well executed set up and punch line.
R. Bulcanan: Octopi have four hearts, Mary Shelly wrote “Frankenstein” on a bet when she was twenty, cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis, bats are the only mammal that can’t can fly, it takes seven years to digest a piece of chewing gum. And let’s do the elephant one again, for good measure. Elephants can’t jump.
I quite enjoyed this one. The article itself has few errors from what I can see and it does what it sets out to do rather well. It's no masterpiece, but it's well written enough to be perfectly serviceable.
What really gives it a boost is the Riordain Bulcanan section. It's well done and gives the article as a whole some much needed extra life.
Overall, the article is fairly enjoyable and from what I can see, should be ready to go once it has enough crit.
Well done.
Posting Qual's crit from Discord:
"I like the article, real good Amazing! Co lore. Really got the roots of what the GoI is all about. (Joke)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1en87TpnZAyWLDk8Ia7SJoq1AGrd_fuKyD2nmSrSUOrc/edit
I can't say I fully understand what the anomaly is, but I get the underlying concept with it. This is the article that leads to that one tale, "On Company Time." My main problem is that I don't feel like I ever have a solid grasp on the anomaly itself. I know you explained it, but I'm still iffy on what it is itself, and I also feel as if it doesn't do anything with the concept itself and immediately switches to being lore abruptly. You never finish one idea before the next, and I understand keeping fresh ideas, but the ending kinda feels like an add-on to the story instead of something that the article wanted to build naturally. Like a chrome extension. Which is fine, kinda, cause I like the gnaffdaff concept itself and how the article implicated the anomaly in a bigger pool of stuff, but it doesn't make the first act any better and actively makes the first act feel at best like filler and at the worst exposition to incomplete work. I at least need you to work around how you structure info to more intuitively explain what the anomaly is. And furthermore, the initial explanation for gnaffdaff doesn't stand on its own, which I think isn't excusable even with the ladder section. It feels too in-the-weeds for 70% of ppl and, again, it's very abrupt.
This article is a three, functionally. I think you can easily expand on it, make the clarifications and get it to a four, but the story itself commits one too many sins. Also, the written part at the end was fine. The only thing is that I feel like your execution with the final barf was too drawn out and it misses its timing"
I think the 6:66am thing should be elaborated on, maybe with a footnote, as it trips the reader at first wondering if it was intentional (and alludes to some satanic theme, which this article has none of) or was some typo.
The potential for disaster aside, this RPC seems amusing in the sense that it turns its victims into Mr. Beans.
"Addendum - Designated memotic draff" seems a tad infodumpey, but gets the job done in nuancing/fleshing out the nature of 321. The footnote "See addendi" should refer to this one in particular (use the full name instead of "addendi"), as there are two addendums and I read the other one (the video log transcript) by accident.
The title "Addendum – Riordain Bulcanan" sounds like it's specifically biographing Riordain himself and not actually about his video recording. Suggest to reword this as well.
The recording itself has a really good comedic ending, almost as if the picture book trolled him on purpose.
All in all it's quite a good short RPC. Mysterious yet understandable, risky yet manageable.