He just barely manages to
To
He just barely managed to
Proper grammar
In about sixty years or so, Yellowstone will be branded as a high risk, slumbering super-volcano capable of causing the end of days.
To
Yellowstone will be branded as a high-risk, slumbering super-volcano capable of causing the end of days in about sixty years or so.
Proper grammar
strikes that poor, poor porcelain bowl.
to
strikes that poor porcelain bowl.
Extra wording not required
the walls and finds new spots
To
the walls and find new spots
Proper wording
In the next stall, rolls of toilet paper unravel
To
In the next stall, toilet paper rolls unravel
Proper wording
doesn't even notice, since
To
doesn't even notice since
Comma not required
dinner is currently still holding him hostage.
To
dinner is still holding him hostage.
Needless extra wording
Pulling trouser back on,
To
Pulling their trousers back on,
Proper phrasing
ceiling, as well as the doorway to his home.
To
ceiling and the doorway to his home.
Proper grammar
The janitor is standing a few
To
The janitor stands a few
Proper phrasing
which he can quite manage
To
which he can reasonably manage to speak.
Proper synonym
turns around and face Igor
To
turns around and faces Igor
Proper spelling
He takes a step towards the agent.
To
He takes a step toward the agent.
Proper spelling
Joe arches backwards, facing
To
Joe arches backward, facing
Proper spelling
his janitor scrubs, as
To
his janitor scrubs as
Comma not required
torso and up his neck.
To
torso and up to his neck.
Proper grammar
Without missing a beat, he kicks out his leg and sweeps the janitor off his feet.
To
He kicks out his leg without missing a beat and sweeps the janitor off his feet.
Proper grammar
reaches for his standard issue Authority
To
reaches for his standard-issue Authority
Missing hyphen
the stall door, which prompts
To
the stall door, prompting
Proper grammar
balance and fall backwards.
To
balance and fall backward.
Proper spelling
There does not exist a single human tongue on the planet that can possibly describe how awful it must feel to live out the age-old saying, 'don't fall in.'
To
A single human tongue on the planet does not exist that can describe how awful it must feel to live out the age-old saying, 'don't fall in.'
Proper grammar
interlocked with pvc pipes.
To
interlocked with PVC pipes.
Forgot Caps
form a latrine labryinth,
To
form a latrine labyrinth,
Misspelling Corrected
stream of water stopping.
To
stream of water stops.
Proper verb
A heavy-duty wrist-mounted laser cannon is still strapped to its frame, along with an accompanying back-worn battery pack.
To
A heavy-duty wrist-mounted laser cannon is still strapped to its frame and an accompanying back-worn battery pack.
Proper grammar
be active in order for it to
To
be active for it to
Proper grammar
approaching creature, and
To
approaching creature and
Comma not required
him know that it's building a charge.
To
him know it was building charge.
before focusing into a
To
before focusing on a
Proper grammar
Starting from the top, the carcass of crap sags downwards, flattening out into a dark pancake before dissolving into shallow waters.
To
The carcass of crap sags downwards, starting from the top, flattening out into a dark pancake before dissolving into shallow waters.
Proper grammar
surface to get away from the
To
surface to avoid the
Proper synonym usage
Chanting, distant and out
To
Chanting, distant, and out
Missing comma
Even after everything that has transpired, this damn bathroom manages to render him speechless.
To
Even after everything that transpired, this damn bathroom made him speechless.
Removal of unnecessary wording
elongated roll of toilet paper vibrates
To
elongated toilet paper roll vibrates
Proper grammar
a paper road, as though beckoning him
To
a paper road beckoning him
Comma and extra wording not required
Only thing is,
To
The only thing is,
Proper grammar
turns ninety degree upwards
To
turns ninety degrees upward
Proper spelling
With the pipe in his hands, he places a foot on the road.
To
He places a foot on the road with the pipe in his hands.
Proper grammar
head at this new deadend.
To
head at this new dead end.
Proper spelling
Igor whips around and brandishes the pipe threateningly towards the new presence. A young man in an Authority-issue jumpsuit greets him, smiling. Igor would recognize that suit anywhere; the young man is a CSD.
To
A young man in an Authority-issue jumpsuit greets him, smiling. Igor would recognize that suit anywhere; the young man is a CSD. Igor whips around and brandishes the pipe threateningly towards the new presence.
Proper grammar
"How the hell did you get in here?" Igor demanded. CSD cells were structured like standard prison cells: bars and a plain metal toilet with no privacy. There's no way he could have…unless…?
To
There's no way he could have…unless…? CSD cells were structured like normal prison cells: bars and a plain metal toilet with no privacy.
Proper grammar
human vocal chords should
To
human vocal cords should
Proper spelling
would be as useful as a toothpick
To
would be as helpful as a toothpick
Proper synonym
gawks at the sight of true sight of the
To
gawks at the true sight
Proper grammar
a bloody flesh-funnel.
To
a bloody flesh funnel.
Proper spelling
It widens until its size and weight surpasses that off the
To
It widened until its size and weight surpassed that of the
Proper grammar
Igor roars as jumps for it.
TO
Igor roars as he jumps for it.
Proper grammar
Igor just barely manages
To
Igor barely managed
Proper grammar
over the ledge, and
To
over the ledge and
Comma not required
himself up, as
To
himself up as
Comma not required
on any other day, but
To
on any other day but
Comma not required
him with an immense, immeasurable
To
him with immense, immeasurable
Proper grammar
Somehow, he has found an exit, something that he had convinced himself didn't exist.
To
Somehow, he found an exit, something he had convinced himself didn't exist.
Proper grammar
For a mere second, he can see his home vaporize into a fine black powder.
To
He can see his home vaporize into a fine black powder for a mere second.
Proper grammar
In that mere second, he sees the profile of his wife, sitting peacefully on the living room couch, before she falls over, struggling in burning agony, before she, too, crumbles away like dust.
To
In that very second, he saw his wife sitting peacefully on the living room couch before she fell over, struggling in burning agony before she crumbled away like dust.
Proper grammar