ANOMALIE OBSCURA No.729 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page ANOMALIE OBSCURA No.729.

Cowboys & Squids

TheGreatTarbolin69 01 Nov 2021 03:54

Crit Thread: http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-14248446/deep-dave-and-the-black-lake-gang

Thanks to Alma, Sovereign, and Rota for their help with this piece. Took a long-ass time to make, but I'm mostly happy with the result. But all harsh criticism is welcomed. Feel free to steal my format!

And, of course, thanks to Qual for carrying the entire event on his shoulders like a digital Atlas. NOTHING here would be possible without him. Great job, chief.

Enjoy!

Last edited on 05 Nov 2021 04:12 by TheGreatTarbolin69 Show more

Almarduk 01 Nov 2021 03:55

squigga and the sneed gang

House Opera Glass 05 Nov 2021 05:47

I really like the gang and the imagery, and I think the squid gun is sheer brilliance, but I found the dialogue to be occasionally a little stiff, unfulfilling, and long-winded.

Also, I refuse to believe that anybody, no matter how theatrical their mannerisms, would speak in full professional prose, even going as far as changing accents in the middle of an interview. I'm willing to throw a bone and believe the editor of the newspaper wrote down the different accents for Lavoe and Pale Rider, but even then, speaking in full prose isn't realistic to me.

I'd give this a 3.5/5 if I could, but I'll settle for a 4/5 instead.

This could have used little more time in the cooker.

Also, a myriad of minor typos. Sorry I didn't point them all out.