Anti-Hex Body Armor System vIII "Holy Armor"
This is an experimental format for Authority patents. I'll be honest, I'm not 100% sure if this should even be posted. But I'm putting it out here anyway to see what you guys think.
Anti-Hex Body Armor System vIII "Holy Armor"
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» Anti-Hex Body Armor System vIII "Holy Armor"
Summary:
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/patentformat
This special armor became the default garb of the Teutonic Order.
Missing some sort of connection to the next point. Should be explicit why it's restricted to the order and how it got lost from mainstream science.
The agency improved upon the instruments RPC-503 made both to aid the order in their war against RPC-503-2 instances and to improve the agency's military. The Anti-Hex Body Armor System was significantly improved upon as the FOA used a Multi-Function Tactical Armor set as a template for the Teutonic Order's sigil composition.
Three instances of "improve"
"The agency improved upon the instruments in the possession of RPC-503, both to aid the Order in their conflict with RPC-503-2 and to enhance currently available protective equipment for combat personnel. The Anti-Hex Body Armor was upgraded via integration with a standardized Multi-Function Tactical Armor set in use by the FOA, engraving with the exact sigil composition employed by the Order."
The invention would later be sold to the MI13 and PCAAO a few months later.
This feels a little off-character for the Authority, given that AOIs are seen as rivals and spreading anomalous tech is kind of against their goals. Maybe they were given as part of some important operation that required their collaboration? Could be some sort of issue with one of the Indian disputed territories.
AHA3 is made of tungsten reinforced steel composite metal foam, made to loosely replicate the 15th Century Gothic style of armor.
Why does it replicate that style? Is it purely decorative, or does it serve a functional purpose?
replicating the property is difficult and costly
Why?
A minor tychokinetic glyph is engraved to protect its wearer from imminent harm to a limited extent.
Elaborate on how. Just "protect from imminent harm" lends itself to picturing a kind of forcefield, when that isn't what tychokinetic means.
Other than that, great shit. I find it extremely funny that the Authority doctor is described as the "inventor" when he says himself that the Authority only made minor improvements.
A section for current and potential uses would be much appreciated as well.
(account deleted)To repeat some crit from discord, the "notice" section of the intro was off, but it's been corrected now.
The first incarnation of the Anti-Hex Body Armor System was created in 1864 by an anonymous blacksmith allied with RPC-503. It was a sophisticated 15th century Gothic Armor engraved with holy sigils which protected its user from harm to a certain extent. The utilization of applied theogonics through faith allowed for the amplification of its property. This special armor became the default garb of the Teutonic Order.4 Due to RPC-503's isolation from the rest of the world, the arts of sigil composition have been lost from mainstream thaumaturgy and science.
This initial paragraph is somewhat awkward. I feel like it could be abbreviated or shorted (lines like "theogonics through faith" come to mind) but it's not necessarily detrimental to the article as a whole.
The invention would later be sold to the MI13 and PCAAO a few months later after both agencies filed several complaints to the FOA.
But then stuff like this, I think, should be elaborated upon. Although I feel like that could warrant a separate article in its entirety.
The issue from my perspective is that this style is A) kickass and B) pretty different from other articles on the site. I realize that stuff like "what did they mean by 'pursuit of fairness'" wouldn't necessarily be relevant, but I still think more info would serve the article's purpose.
AHA3 is made of tungsten reinforced steel composite metal foam, made to loosely replicate the 15th Century Gothic style of armor both for aesthetic and applied theogonic purposes.
Hmm.
The psychological sway of "feeling like a proper knight" enhances belief.
Hmmmmm.
I dig it. I like how you at least explained as to why, and in this case it makes sense.
A few comments on the Sigil section:
prescientific
What does it mean by prescientific harm? Arrows and rocks?
…and pyrokinesic harm.
Pyrokinetic.
…and both the gorget has one engraved on the front.
"Both the gorget"? I feel like this is a typo.
The helmet has one composed on the back.
I understand that you've used "engraved" a few times at this point, but composed doesn't really work here.
An Emotional suggestion repulse sigil is engraved on the front of the helmet. Be the emotion negative, the helmet will repel hypnotic manipulation by intercepting external brainwaves.
Elaborate on this one, I don't really understand what's going on here and it seems somewhat rushed.
…both in the Protection division and the Containment division for its sigils' versatile nature.
The sigils.
The tycho-psychotronic fuse combination has the potential to shield personnel from the destabilization hazards of high-class reality-bending. The emotional-psychotronic repulse fuse can disorient sapient threats with an excess of emotional suggestions. The tycho-emotional fuse expands the wearer's stochastic field's circumference.
hnnng fucking cool
Also fuse? What does that mean in this context?
Alright, that's all I got. I'll be making my own patent with this format b/c it's cool as hell.
/forum/t-14187291/anti-hex-body-armor-system-viii-holy-armor#post-
