Mechanically-Inclined Crabs
Mechanically-Inclined Crabs
Forum
» Writing & Drafts / Archived Drafts
» Mechanically-Inclined Crabs
(account deleted)Overall very nice, but the first and second addenda seems like they could be put in a collapsible. I think you're missing a few / here and there, and maybe putting a line between the dialogue of the respective scientists may be a good idea. My major complaints are with the formatting and not the article itself, which is pretty good.
Recritting due to update:
1. Picture and formatting are solid.
2. Grammar and spelling are on point.
3. Table is awesome.
4. Collapsible makes for an easier read.
5. Implications are dire.
Overall this is a very good article and I honestly can't find any major flaws with its design or concept, or even the execution. It just…works, you know?
Though they are incapable of regrowing lost limbs, RPC-UUU are capable of using parts from other specimens.
Feels like this sentence is incomplete. I'd add "to replace them" at the end.
RPC-UUU instances can use this ability to extend their arms and legs, and no upper limit to the size of their limbs has been observed. RPC-UUU instances acquire additional limb segments through donation, after a fight, or from deceased instances.
A lot of information organized somewhat confusingly. Suggesting change:
"RPC-UUU instances can acquire additional limbs and segments thereof through donation, after a fight, or from deceased instances. Such segments are often used to extend their arms and legs, with no upper limit being observed."
In addition to the normal diet of Geosesarma dennerle, RPC-UUU will also hunt small mammals and birds. This is accomplished throguh the assembly of limb segments into rudimentary traps controlled by one or more specimens. Once prey has been immobilized, multiple other specimens will swarm and attack it. Food obtained through this method is shared among all participants.
thrroguh -> through
Forgive me if this is a product of my ignorance, but I believe crabs usually don't work together much. This merits a sentence or two in the first paragraph I believe.
Group 2 consists of instances caring for offspring.
How exactly can they take care of their offspring without any legs?
You know, this is an insanely fun setup that's missing a payoff. I was totally expecting the missing legs and limbs to have been secretly repurposed to assemble a huge Crab-ken made from a jumble of limbs piloted by multiple crabs. Everything from the pack behavior to the mysterious change of behavior seemed to point to that.
This is also the case for the table of hunting techniques. It's missing some creativity on the examples I think — there's plenty of crazy shit one can imagine with crab limbs, even if it stretches disbelief a bit as to their effectiveness in hunting. Something like that would paint the crabs as devilish little fellows with more smarts than one may think at first.
All this article needs to really sell the idea is a big over-the-top addendum like RPC-070, making creative use of the abilities that have been set up. Maybe a singular test log, or incident, or just an update, I don't know.
All RPC-UUU specimens1 are contained in a 10m x 10m x 5m terrarium located within Site-031l.
Site-031
encounters with their non-anomalous counterparts result in mutual hostility and often physical conflict.
From what I’ve read Vampire Crabs aren’t prone to conflicts with each other, making their hostility towards their own species (though I guess they are biologically different enough) the “atypical behaviour” instead.
8 legs and 2 arms of specimen elongated, body of second specimen positioned at end of one leg.
A specimen with its limbs elongated, the body of a second specimen is positioned at the end of one leg
attaching into the second specimen and enclosing target.
(I suggest that you add determiners like that for the entirety of the table because it’s so much clearer what you’re trying to say)
Variation of "Cage" structure using a single specimen, with celae at the end of each appendage.
chela
Specimens on both end retain legs and are responsible for transporting the construct.
ends
This coincides with a recent increase in the population of RPC-UUU, which has risen from 46 to at least 70 in just four months.//
The numbers don’t line up with what was said at the Containment Protocols. The fact that adding in the aforementioned escaped 8 instances to 38 would make it 46, puts me at a difficulty deciding if you are saying that the 8 instances were never found (which meant re-containment never actually succeded) or not.
/forum/t-14175776/mechanically-inclined-crabs#post-